What is the most difficult thing about having a loved one who is an alcoholic/addict
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Join Date: May 2013
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What is the most difficult thing about having a loved one who is an alcoholic/addict
What is the most difficult thing about having a loved one who is an alcoholic/addict?
Mine would be constant fear of my father's death...as much as he is a toxic person he is also a wonderful person who i can't stand to loose.
Mine would be constant fear of my father's death...as much as he is a toxic person he is also a wonderful person who i can't stand to loose.
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Seeing my children's father treat them in a way that the man I married would have been horrified at? That's just one that comes to mind.
I don't fear his death. At this point, death would be a liberator for him.
I don't fear his death. At this point, death would be a liberator for him.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 150
Knowing their health is on a big downslide. Knowing they could die soon. Feeling guilty from being mean, indifferent or uncaring to them in the past. Thinking they could still have a quality life if they stop now, but the window is closing. Wondering where they go when they do pass.
If I knew my brother will indeed go to heaven....whenever his time comes....I'd be much more settled.
If I knew my brother will indeed go to heaven....whenever his time comes....I'd be much more settled.
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Join Date: Oct 2012
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The unpredictability that keeps me in a constant state of watchfulness and fear for what's next - knowing the cruelty and selfishness AH is capable of.
I don't worry for him. He looks out for his own interests. It's how he effects the children - and me - that is my greatest concern.
I don't worry for him. He looks out for his own interests. It's how he effects the children - and me - that is my greatest concern.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
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Feeling disappointed and let down.
My mum bought my baby daughter some beautiful shoes yesterday.
I rang in the evening to say thank you.
She was drunk, slurring and repeating herself.
She was drunk when I had my baby too.
Makes me sad x
My mum bought my baby daughter some beautiful shoes yesterday.
I rang in the evening to say thank you.
She was drunk, slurring and repeating herself.
She was drunk when I had my baby too.
Makes me sad x
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 183
Originally Posted by SolTraveler 
Watching the man I love, and have loved since childhood, slowly destroy himself.
You just can't.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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For me, the hardest thing is the family times that are missed when you have to detach from your children---loving them from a great--great distance. Life is short, and the experiences missed can never be regained. It feels like throwing precious parts of life away.
And, this is Mother's Day weekend.
dandylion
And, this is Mother's Day weekend.
dandylion
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 62
Remembering that kind gentle human being that I've known since 13 and cringing at the human being he's become. Dealing with the chaos and the nastiness. Watching him disconnect with the family around him that truly love him and are sadly watching his downward spiral. Feeling sad that he's missing out and not receiving that wonderful pure love and joy from grandchildren. Never seeing joy...he never smiles. There's just sadness in his world. Going into my retirement years without him. I would've never guessed that 37 years later this marriage would end . Feeling the sadness that this disease brings .
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Knowing how crucial and life sustaining recovery has been for me.
Deeply knowing that another is not ready for recovery it, and it does not matter what I do he might never be. It deeply saddens me about what he will likely miss as a result.
Deeply knowing that another is not ready for recovery it, and it does not matter what I do he might never be. It deeply saddens me about what he will likely miss as a result.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Gulf Coast, Florida USA
Posts: 5,731
I appreciate all the honest and heartfelt posts in Friends and family. My hubby is an addict , I am an alkie/addict, we r both in recovery. But I come here because I need to be reminded of the pain I caused my loved ones when I was out there. It breaks my heart to think back to the fear , sadness and disgust my drinking brought others and this Forum is a great tool for me in staying clean and sober. 
Thank You! I am sorry for all your pain.
Thank You! I am sorry for all your pain.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Great Lakes
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Originally Posted by PippiLngstockng
The unpredictability that keeps me in a constant state of watchfulness and fear for what's next - knowing the cruelty and selfishness AH is capable of.
I don't worry for him. He looks out for his own interests. It's how he effects the children - and me - that is my greatest concern.
I don't worry for him. He looks out for his own interests. It's how he effects the children - and me - that is my greatest concern.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Exitville
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the deception. about everything. not only to us but to themselves and others. it never ends and covers the spectrum. the energy they put in to deception, if used to recover instead...well, it seems it would be a breeze for them. but they won't. this is hard.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
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Originally Posted by stella27
knowing that you don't really exist as long as you live with him.
Originally Posted by akalacha
The emotional unavailability. Feeling so lonely even when I was with him.
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