Terrispots

A complete stranger from a legal advice board I posted my situation on about how to get my sister out of my house just gave me some advice that I feel really defensive over.

They basically said - aw! She is an A, she needs help, call AA and get her some help, throwing her out on the street isnt going to help her!

UMMMMM, I didnt cause it, I cant control it, I cant cure it. Right?

I was just like WAIT! This trying to help her and the inclination for me to fix her life is what got me here to begin with!

arabhorseluvr

You're absolutely right. As long as she knows that AA exists, or at least has the capacity to use a phone or the computer to seek help if she wanted to... well... it's on her to get help for herself.

onipar

This was one of the harder epiphanies for me to have. That idea that I can't help if my AGF doesn't want to help herself. It's a hard pill to swallow, but so very true.

Archangelesk

The random internet person who offered that advice is probably in codependent denial of his or her own.

SparkleKitty

People who have zero experience with addiction and co-dependency have no idea how upsetting their advice can be. They just don't get it.

"Take what you want and leave the rest" applies here.

dandylion

Dear Terrispots, most people are not going to understand alcoholism or co-dependency either--unless they have direct experience. Most of what the general public knows about the subject is urban myth.

This fact can be very frustrating, at times. You just have to have compassion for their well-meaning ignorance---or just ignore them. In some cases--if you have the patience--you can educate them. Be careful not to preach, though--that is guranteed to turn people off.

sincerely, dandylion

LaughAway

Absolutley!!! Even parents who have alcoholic children don't get it. They don't live with them or see their full blow addictive behavior or their ability to manipulate your sanity right of your head. The parent is still looking for "why do you drink" or "who's fault is it that you drink"....very frustrating!

Recovering2

You posted on a legal advice board...not an addiction/recovery board. Different audience. The "normies" who have never experienced what we experience not only don't get it, they CAN'T get it. So you can delete that message and move on.

Terrispots

Yeah, I was hoping to get some advice on how to get her out of my house.

fourmaggie

JUST DO IT!
stop "asking" just DO!!

once out..(she has to go out sometime for her alcohol) just change the locks and put her stuff on the grass....

end of story

amanda39

Love the term "normies!" Ah, makes me feel better about not being one.