bluebelle

I could use some help. I'm taking care of a very ill relative--not ever an addict. It is somebody very important to me. How do you navigate balancing doing all you can for them and still have a bit of yourself left? I feel much grief and sadness. I also feel stress with other relatives who are also care taking. One of them is bossy, but doesn't do as much "work." Everybody is exhausted, grieved, and overwhelmed. I'm so tired, yet there is more to be done. A couple of the relatives who are helping probably drink too much and may not have the best coping mechanisms.

On another note, I have left the RABF at home to go take time to take care of my relative, so I have certainly given him space for his own recovery.

I know many of you have experienced the same struggle as I have. I have been meditating, sometimes eating ok, can't always get rest (long nights in hospital), and trying to get some exercise.

cynical one

Personally, I don’t have a whole lot of faith in the overall competency level of staff at most hospitals. Therefore, I feel someone needs to be the patients advocate if they are unable to do it for themselves. I’ve found that if there are friends/family members willing to devote their time that it’s best to make up a schedule that works for everyone. If you can’t hold a family meeting, perhaps pass around an email and ask everyone to list the days and times that they are available to either be at the bedside or what other things of service they can provide (child sitting, group meals, transportation, whoever lives closest to the hospital to provide a place for others to shower or rest for a few hours, etc.) If the injured/sick person is going to be coming home or going into a facility, if you can find a somewhat competent social worker they can help you with the arrangements. If this is an end of the journey thing, hospice care is a wonderful service.

Anaya

Good advice and a great way to advocate for the ill one, who cannot do for him/herself. The value of the efforts and support of a good network can't be understated.

Please squeeze in some time to rest and try to take care of you. It may be a long journey and you will need your strength.

I am sorry for your loved one and send wishes and prayers for comfort and peace.

LoveMeNow

I wish I had some words of wisdom but I struggled the whole way through my mothers final days. Being the martyr had become my norm.

I guess I would remind you that what other people think about you is none of your business and it does not define who you are. Also, keep the acronym HALT as I guide of what emotions/reactions you may be experiencing and what you need for self care.

My prayers are with you, your relative and your family.