ThethreeCs

Looking for support. I know it in my head, but my heart is singing a different tune today.

No contact since Dec 2012. Last time he texted me I ignored it (a few weekends ago) - this was a first and I felt so empowered after I had done it! Today, I can not get him out of my head. Last two nights I have had dreams about him (not good ones).

I am trying to stay distracted, and focus on me. Please remind me why contacting an active alcoholic is NEVER in anyone's best interest. Tell me what my life would be like if I go back. Any of your EH&S would be helpful right now to keep on the right path...

I know I am on the right path, I am happy and more focused. I am focused on only having healthy people in my life and distancing myself from negativity and people who suck the life out of me. Working on my boundaries, and have seen my emotional health improve and mature in leaps and bounds.

It's taking my every ounce of strength to not look him up on google, or see how he is doing on Facebook (codependency and social media don't mix well). But I will not!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHH....I just want to leave my past behind me.

peacedove

Good post 3C's. I hope to see some words of wisdom here myself so thanx for putting it out there. This journey we're on is not so cut and dry. Even with everything I know, NC in place, no desire to look the ex up or go back to the insanity...I have the weirdest moments sometimes. Can't even explain them because my heart and head are getting on the same track every day that goes by. This is progress but I think I want it faster, better, complete and done. I want a full day where nothing makes me think of anything having to do with the whole situation from start to finish. Then I wonder...gosh, does it ever happen?? Or is this something for the rest of my life I will remember due to a smell, an event...which triggers a memory. Ahhhhhhhhhh, I don't know. Maybe someone here does.
I'm doing ok, guys and gals, replacing thoughts with actions/education/getting out in the sun/taking walks and reconnecting with me. But nothing about this happens fast or easy. This is for sure.

Tuffgirl

This above - this is what you need to remind yourself of when you start obsessing. You know you are on the right path. Keep trusting yourself. Allow yourself to miss him and the dream of your relationship/life together. That's normal. Just never lose that sense of knowing what is best for you.

P.S. One day you will wake up and realize you haven't thought of him in ages, and it will feel so darn good!

marie1960

Just because someone made us feel good/special TODAY doesn't mean it's FOREVER.

It truly was a moment in time.

It's perfectly natural to remember the good times.

Time and distance allow our heart and minds to heal. The bad and ugly memories fade, and that's when we sometimes find ourselves doing the "what if" or I just wonder how he is doing.

I think you are doing great, you know to keep the focus on yourself, this is just another moment in time, allow yourself to feel it, and give yourself permission to move forward, this too shall pass.

Sending you support.

Shadydeal

You are doing well! I have no had any contact or responded to anything my XABF has sent since 12/2012 & I also received a text a couple of weeks ago. I was somewhat shocked bc he lives w/another women, in another state & it's almost been a year since I have seen him but at first I felt really good about having the strength to ignore his text then a week later I couldn't shake him from my mind!

I use to look him up on Social media but no more bc the same thing would happen....my mind would wander back to him for days! I have found that blocking on social media is a great tool bc it won't allow me to see him or his new GF unless I were to unblock them. We do have some mutual friends/family & this has really helped. It just makes it easier for me to stay away from any temptation. In addition they couldn't look me up or I am assuming!

It's a hard road but no contact helps beyond words! I keep waiting/hoping for the day I don't give my XABF a second thought!

Hang in there-This too shall pass!

atalose

When we make a reservation – we are doing what? – HOLDING A SPOT ensuring a place for ourselves some where…………by not blocking his number you made a reservation. A reservation for him to call or text you. There is always a reason why when you don't block their number.

And look what’s happened to you mentally, playing on those tracks again with thoughts of contacting him back.

Your doing really good with the no contact, now it’s time to truly once and for all go no contact.