Mirage74

Im on day 10. The past nine nights I have just sort of put my head down and gritted through the discomfort, but overall they went ok. Well tonight, I went to eat with my mother. She really presses my buttons and most times I spend time around her I leave feeling like drinking (sad, I know, but a reality). Well, tonight was no exception. I don't plan on drinking, but I really want to right now.

I think the scariest thing my voice tells me is that I just don't care anymore. As in, I don't care about getting sober. It's saying, "Just drink, no big deal, sobriety is too hard, who really cares." It's like it just wants me to throw my hands up and give up. That is a big challenge of mine - dealing with people and things that demoralize me. Anyway, decided I'd share and get this off my chest, before my beast takes control..

Dee74

As long as you can recognize that 'I don't care' for the lie it is, I think you're doing ok

Can you give dinner with your mom a break for a while?

D

soberlicious

You recognize it for what it is. That's key. Don't buy into it. It's lying. Do something else and it will pass. Don't give up.

As far as people demoralizing me, drinking never fixed that. But you might want to pass on the next dinner invitation. I generally avoid spending time with people who demoralize me.

Mirage74

Yea, I haven't seen her in a while, and she invited me to dinner. She was actually upset because she knows I have been avoiding her. Anyway, I feel better. Sometimes throwing stuff out there instead of stewing about it helps. Still sober, still hanging on...thanks

Committed

Day 11 and 12 was a real bitch for me. Day 14 sucked also. It's not easy, but hang in there.

Spinach

I counted to start of with , when I knew it was getting close I tried to think how I'd feel waking up knowing I got through another day and how I'd feel if I hadn't . Pride is an amazing driver especially when we have very little left. I had a few false starts over the last 30 years but when I knew it was happening took a few months and finding here!
You can get through these days and perhaps it's time to focus on something you might have wanted to do but haven't yet and plan. I found challenging the "it's just a quick drink" etc just need replacing with other thoughts you can control and planning stuff can go on for ages.
It gets better ,for now just count the days 10 is fantastic going through the week then 14 , 20 , 21, 25, all so close.
Important thing is keep on giving up even if you have a moment keep going and keep here.
LIFE WILL STRAIGHTEN THINGS UP, and then there's realising your doing soberiety rather than just not drinking and those voices still pop up but they cause less problems and sound so thin and weedy that it's so much easier to move on.
Gosh sorry to ramble on. Your doing brilliantly.
John.

Bruce292

Yes! That voice! I have the same voice. It keeps telling me I don't have a problem and it's just a way to relax. It's a way to enjoy this mean old world. What it doesn't say is that my health was deteriorating, my mental state was ridiculous, and my life was rapidly going down the drain. It's funny how my voice never brought those things up. Our buttons get pushed every day. There's no avoiding it. It's what those buttons are attached to inside of us that can be changed.