New to forum, need support
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: greensboro, nc
Posts: 2
New to forum, need support
No big surprise, I am an addict. That is the first time I have ever actually used that sentence and it doesn't feel very good. I am the person with the addiction that no one suspects. I have a master's degree, a great husband, three very healthy and happy children. My life is perfect.
But three years ago my life fell apart. My husband divorced me. I found myself a single mother with two children, a full time job, a caregiver for my best friend dying of ALS, and getting my masters degree. I realized I felt better when I took opiates of any kind, and I did what I had to get them. Faked injuries, bought them off the street, etc. I found an internet source and have been taking them for about two years. I believed that they made me a better mother, and that I needed them to cope with my life. I finished my degree, ended up meeting a wonderful man. I kept telling myself I would quit tomorrow, next week, etc. But I didn't. I even had another baby, who is healthy and wonderful. I took tramadol everyday while I was pregnant and thank God my baby is fine. I hate myself for risking her health and well being. Not being able to quit while i was pregnant really proves how much of an addict I am. But no one knows! No one has figured it out. And I want to STOP
So I have been weaning myself and now I am in the home stretch. I feel like crap, but I don't want to lose the life I have built for myself. The drugs will ruin everything and I will end up back where I started. So I joined this forum for support. And want to find NA meetings too. I guess I need encouragement from others who have been where I am. I don't want to hit rock bottom (again). I have to do this for my family and for myself. That's all...thanks for taking the time to read this.
But three years ago my life fell apart. My husband divorced me. I found myself a single mother with two children, a full time job, a caregiver for my best friend dying of ALS, and getting my masters degree. I realized I felt better when I took opiates of any kind, and I did what I had to get them. Faked injuries, bought them off the street, etc. I found an internet source and have been taking them for about two years. I believed that they made me a better mother, and that I needed them to cope with my life. I finished my degree, ended up meeting a wonderful man. I kept telling myself I would quit tomorrow, next week, etc. But I didn't. I even had another baby, who is healthy and wonderful. I took tramadol everyday while I was pregnant and thank God my baby is fine. I hate myself for risking her health and well being. Not being able to quit while i was pregnant really proves how much of an addict I am. But no one knows! No one has figured it out. And I want to STOP
So I have been weaning myself and now I am in the home stretch. I feel like crap, but I don't want to lose the life I have built for myself. The drugs will ruin everything and I will end up back where I started. So I joined this forum for support. And want to find NA meetings too. I guess I need encouragement from others who have been where I am. I don't want to hit rock bottom (again). I have to do this for my family and for myself. That's all...thanks for taking the time to read this.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 753
Hi :-)
Welcome to SR!..you will get loads of support here - were all in same situation , messed up!
But we're all going to be alright!..with help :-)
Your doing well so far - my vice was wine so I don't know much about what your going through but know plenty on here will give you strength and encouragement !
Good luck :-)
Welcome to SR!..you will get loads of support here - were all in same situation , messed up!
But we're all going to be alright!..with help :-)
Your doing well so far - my vice was wine so I don't know much about what your going through but know plenty on here will give you strength and encouragement !
Good luck :-)
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
You've come to a good place for support. We have a specialized forum for substance abuse. Here's the link if you want to have a look at it.Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Welcome GoodMama! I think you'll find it very helpful to be here. I was able to stop a life long drinking habit with the help of my friends here. It feels so good to come out and admit it - and to reach out for support. You aren't alone - you can do this.
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