dasiydoc

NOW has about 4 months clean. The hardest part of our relationship has been where he stopped using, relapsed a couple times, and focused on changing his life. The drugs left him moody, caused sleep problems, loss of energy and all the normal things I was used to about him. But during all of it, I never lost myself. I continued to take care of myself, focus on my career as its my main thing right now, and I stuck by him and we have now emerged to a good place.

I havent posted in a while but I have talked to a few people here every little while. And to those of you - you know who you are - Thank You. When I needed a little extra support, a different view, you were there and not judgmental.

I have been reading still various things that I think will help me if my boyfriend happens to relapse. I have met with him and his doctor a couple times now for joint sessions. Those were interesting. A while back my boyfriends doctor asked him to go to a few meetings, the goal was to get him to talk about himself and what happened, since he has no one in his life that knows except parents. I went with him to an NA meeting, and it was ok. I mean it made us both sort of depressed. Then he went to another one, and had mostly the same experience. I have been using Smart Recovery online to help me, and someone there suggested he try a smart meeting. I looked and there were a couple in our area. And he switched to that. I went with him to the first one and theirs are not divided up with family separate. Then he went to another. His doctor said that was fine, the point was only to talk about himself. I am now thinking I will go to a few more myself, and share some of what I have been through. I think it would bring it full circle for me and maybe set some of those feelings loose.

I am feeling optimistic for our relationship at this point. Im still very much aware of my life, and my needs, but my thoughts have not changed in these months that because of his addiction I should run away from him. Now I think is is safe to say I have a boyfriend in recovery from addiction.

Almost forgot: It got a lot of attention in some of my earlier posts, but he is no longer needing any sleep medication. No longer on Ambien. He never abused it, and never had any more sleep episodes. His sleep improved after the drugs worked their way out, and his body got back to normal.

Lara

Hey Daisiydoc..... it seems you are 100% aware of all the possibilities - and the choice of remaining with and being in a relationship with an 'addict in recover'.... it seems as though you are in a strong place. Remain in that strong place. Look after yourself. I do believe there are positive stories out there - and no reason why your's can't be one of them. But just keep strong. Know that things can change in a a heart beat. But if you are centred in yourself. If your core is strong. If your faith unweilding - then you can conquer all. I pray for you and your BF on this long journey - and I pray it is a journey of healing. God bless

Hanna

Thank you for the update. It is good to hear that you are both doing well and taking care of yourselves. Great that he is willing to put in effort even when it makes him uncomfortable, ie, going to meetings. And also to try different things.

dasiydoc

Thank you both.

My prayers go out to you and your H also Lara. Your right it can change in an instant, and in fact it is pretty common in early recovery. I have been working on relapse plans for myself if it happens, based on various factors that could occur. It makes me feel more confident and prepared just in case.

I am very proud of him Hanna. He is trying his best to follow the instructions of his addiction doctor. I see him reading, and writing down his thoughts. He was reluctant to do the meetings mostly out of fear of being recognized. He still worries a lot about his career. But he has been putting forth that effort too, and he has plans to go to another meeting this week. He has asked me if I would go on the day he decided to be more vocal and share with the group. I told him I would be glad to if he wanted, but if he had things to say that maybe would make him uncomfortable if I was there it was fine you know. This is healing for him. I think he appreciated that offer, but still says he wants me to go. I hope I dont cry, I have to work more on my emotionless state of mind for when he does it.