Mizzuno

The title says it all. I am depressed today, or rather I am depressed this morning. I have given my life everything that I can in whatever positive way that I can. I think that this last job has really gotten me down. I had to resign. There was no way of my being able to pay my bills on 4 hours a week. My heart is hurting. I feel like a pile. If I could sleep forever this would be wonderful. I need to keep pushing through. I need things to turn around quickly otherwise everything will sink. Maybe it will.

quitforme79

Hey mizzuno, sorry you're feeling down today. I've been in a funk too. Have faith it will pass. Every time I get thru my low emotions I'm so grateful I held on because the sun does shine again. An opportunity will present itself to you, believe that. Hugs

janiebluebird

One thing I know, is that things can change at the drop of a dime - don't lose hope. Keep taking care of yourself the best that you can and you'll be going in the right direction. I know its not always the easiest, but try. Shower and dress yourself nicely for the day, it makes a world of a difference in how you'll feel. May a to-do list and check things off as you go along. Keep your living space clean. Exercise the best you can. Things do improve! Aim for contentment and peace.

Dave42001

Keep your chin up!! We have to live life on life's terms... I really like what Janie said.. Everything can change on a dime!! Talk to your higher power! Call the creditors and tell them what's going on, they will work with you! Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep on keeping on!!! Hope your day gets better... Thanks for sharing!!

Ptcapote

Hi Mizz, sorry you're feeling like crap today. I know how much stress that job has been giving you so I am not sorry to say that I am glad you resigned. I know it is more pressure as far as money goes but no job is worth your health or your sanity. Plus you tried your best and sometimes jobs/people/things are just s**t and it has nothing whatsoever to do with us, ya know? I think as alcoholics we tend to take EVERYTHING personally and really it is not about us most of the time. Plus sometimes I think it is OK to give ourselves a break and feel like crap for a day. As long as it doesn't lead you down the rabbit hole of wanting to drink, sometimes taking a day to rest and just be angry/sad/etc. is OK. I used to drown all those emotions with drinking so when they came when I got sober I was like, "Holy hell, what is this feeling about??!!" But when I stopped fighting it and just let myself feel it for a while, it went away much more quickly than it did when I drank it away.

But I think Janie's advice is good too. Give yourself some time to mope if that's what you need and then get dressed, take a walk, have something good to eat, etc.

Plus, now that you're sober, the possibilities are endless. You know that and so many of your posts are so inspiring because you voice that so eloquently. So just know that there will be another job and another opportunity and stay focused on this moment as much as possible. If you feel like having a bit of a mope or a bit of a sad day, then have one. You did not fail---if anything, you are beginning to realize how much you really do deserve. Things will turn around. Just put your thoughts there and take it easy on yourself for today. Moods and feelings come and go. But they are just moods and feelings...not who you are.

Who you are is AWESOME. That is something I know for sure because I have seen it again and again in your posts.

Lots of love to you and things will be fine! Trust that.

mecanix

Hey Mizz ,
Soz to hear that . You still have a family that love you doncha ? ( and all of us do ) so you are quite abundantly wealthy in some ways .

You can and will get through this sober , afterall it was alcohol that bought you to here . So never again eh ?

Whats the next right thing ?

Your magnificence knows no bounds

take care , M

Weasel1966

Sending you warm fuzzy thoughts of goodness. And then some.

Mizzuno

I just need a damn hug, and a blanket to wrap my emotions into. I wasnt crying until I read all of these responses. Thank you everyone. I will go get a coffee, come back and take a shower. Train with a Demo company in a hour. Then I will schedule the demos. I have school work today, and tomorrow, and the next day, and the next, and......
I am good at a lot of things. I just need to know that being abused is not one of them. I did the right thing.
We do not grow in the soft and easy stuff. This is where the true learning and growing comes. So, coffee and shower. That is what i will do now. I will check back in later. I need you guys today! Thank you in advance.

ClearLight

Mizzzzzzz!

I second that. Plus Janie had a good idea about showering and getting set up for the day.

After many years in the restaurant industry I realized you can run into some real scum in that business. I was mainly a bartender. There's an old saying - "There's two kinds of bartenders - the bartenders that have been fired… and the bartenders that are going to be fired."

There can be some really good people too though. You might be able to find something really quickly in the restaurant business again.

Bottom line is you are better off out of that place - they were going to treat you like crap sooner or later. And the reason you're out of there is because you were too good for them. Remember that - you were too good for them. They didn't deserve you someone as good as you.

So carry on! It will take time but you can do it.

Mizzuno

Alright, I took all the advice and words of encouragement. I am showered, and ready to tackle this drama free day. The negativity that I create will only keep me in a bad place. I decided that mascara was a bad idea today. I put on some earrings and blush. My boots are zipped up, and Im ready to do whatever I need to do for the next few hours. This is a minute by minute morning.
Its raining here. It reminds me of Stevie Ray Vaughn, and his emotionally filled song "The sky is crying". Let it be what it is.

Mizzuno

What do I know about tractors? Nothing! I applied for a position though. I have driven a tractor in the past when I worked on an Organic farm. I was always being told that I was driving it to fast. 10 miles an hour can be considered dangerous to some. I am off to find a table for a Demo on Wednesday. I have an interview with a Health food store tomorrow. I thought that this Home and garden job would pan out. They seemed to like me, but now I am questioning everything.

shauninspain

I love SRV as well. Soon there will be a 'Texas Flood' of happiness coming your way mate. Hang on in there buddy!

Legend40

ok, things look extremely devastating right now, but remember as alcoholics we always seem to make a mountain out of a molehill. try to see the positive side of this, if at all possible. something good has to come out of this, life isnt horrible as we sometimes perceive it as. i know, just last night i was in a bad place, but i talked through it and today i feel better. brush yourself off and start fresh, good things will always come if we put our minds towards the goal we seek. good luck!