Badwolf

Hi everyone, first day here, first time i'm actually wanting to talk about my problem..

Its coming up on a year now since I first started smoking spice, when I started, I never knew it would turn into what it has..

I'm currently 22, prior to last year I never touched drugs, never wanted to.. I was out of state working a really good job, when one of my friends offered it to me. I had heard of spice before but never thought of it as being addictive so i tried it. ever since then it became a regular thing for me. I tried coke, weed, oxy and a few other types of drugs after starting spice, but i never developed an addiction for them. but with spice.. i feel that I cant quit..

Since then Ive lost that job because of it, had to come back home, where ive got a new job, but still have the addiction. the only 4 friends i have since coming back a few months ago, unfortunately were people who are also having the same problem. i'm wasting so much money buying it and its slowly taking all my dreams, emotions and any goals i have away.. i'm trying to leave state, start over and get away from it all but its hard when everytime its payday I just end up spending more and more on it..

I've dealt with depression for the last 8 years, so spice was an escape for me, now it feels like the only alternative. it helps me to forget, have some 'fun' with friends for a few hours. or thats how i see it in my head anyway. in reality we just get stoned to the point where we barely function and just hit drive thru to drive thru because the munchies are pretty much the only feeling left. so thats more money wasted, more away from saving up to start over.

Every morning i tell myself Im going to quit, but once im clocking out of work, this whole new me takes over and spice is the one mission for the rest of the night.. i feel that without it i'll just be sitting at home bored, left to my thoughts and my depression and that scares me... I'm not really sure what to do.. any advice would be greatly appreciated

sugarbear1

Maybe get to a rehab?

Badwolf

I feel like thats out of the question, I have bills i have to cover, i cant go to rehab because i have way too much going on in life to have the time for rehab. this was something i was hoping i would be able to deal with myself.. posting here was a huge step for me

doggonecarl

If it's a money issue, Narcotics Anonymous is free. If this was something you could have dealt with by yourself, you would have, I think. If you want to quit this addiction, seek out the people who have recovered from drug addiction.

deeker

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You won't have all that stuff under control in your life if you don't seek help. Whatever you put before your attempts at recovery you will eventually lose. How bout NA meetings? Where do you live? I'll help you find one. How much time do you spend using spice a day?

Guilty401

Bottom line, give NA a sincere shot, go to a meeting everyday for 90 days even if u use each one of them, if you still think it wont work, at least u can say u tried everything

Badwolf

I would like to try NA, yes. I live near dayton ohio. We spend about 3 or 4 hours a day using spice, its helped that they up'd the price from 20$ for 3g's to 35$ for 2grams.. less motivation to buy, but we still pull our money together to waste on the stuff..

I'd like to keep myself busy but the friends I have here are all users =( and outside of them, no one, not even my family knows about my problem. it's all hidden under a web of lie's that continues to grow =(

Guilty401

Isnt that spice **** becoming illegal everywhere anyway? I know it is in RI where im from, mad little kids getting rushed to the ER after smoking it with like insane bp and heart rate goin into cardiac arrest and ****

Guilty401

Haha u sound just like me with dope bro.. I kept it hidden from my parents who i lived with, my girl i dated for 3 years while using IV heroin daily, eentually i got such horrible anxiety from living such a lie i snapped and had to come clean to everyone, no amount of heroin could have givin me the relief i felt after comming clean to them and getting help... i recommend telling them all the truth, and u gotta say fck those old friends man ull meet new cool sober ppl in NA i promise

Badwolf

Yup, it is mostly everywhere, there's one shop where i'm at though thats still apparently licensed to sell it, they have ad's for it on the radio even, which is what I find weird, but it's basically our one place to buy it.. I felt so much relief last month when the smoke shop we would regularly go to for it was closed down. Until the next day my friend called me saying he found it somewhere else, then the voice in my head came back all over again.. it's ridiculous how powerless i feel because of it..

deeker

DAYTON NA MEETINGS
DASCNA Schedule
There you go, chase your recovery like you did your spice and your life will be very,very nice!

Badwolf

Thanks deeker, I'm going to start tonight =)

Guilty401

Theres your AA schedual man, get to one tonght and remeber all you gotta do is not use TODAY, dont think about tomorow or the next day just do what you gotta do to stay clean today, good luck my dude i know you can do this

Badwolf

Thanks man, thanks everyone for the help, feels a lot better to just get it out there and start on my road to staying clean and away from drugs, I'll keep posting and let you all know how it turns out. feelin pretty hopeful about it already

deeker

Good for you Bad. I am proud of you. Now we want a report about your meeting ok? lol

Badwolf

Lol sure thing, will do =)

doggonecarl

You might want to stay away from your "friends" too. If they aren't quitting, they'll feel better about themselves if they can talk you into using.

deeker

How was the meeting?

Badwolf

It was great! just talking to others who are going through similar situations, wanting a desiring to quit, was a great change of scene for me.. sure enough before, during and after the meeting I got a few texts from those friends wanting to smoke last night.. for the first time in awhile I had enough in me to say no, but it wasn't easy.. 2 days sober now and things are rough but the meeting opened my mind up a lot and i'm ready to start this next chapter in my life. 2 days isn't much but it's a start that i'm proud of.

doggonecarl

I'll say it again. Lose your friends, or lose your recovery.