Walkingoutsoon

my BF is a high functioning alcoholic. He maintains a great paying job, has a stable life. But he drinks around 6 or more beers a night and thinks nothing of it. He wants a baby but I don't want a baby with someone who can't curb his drinking. I also don't want my 5 yr old son growing up with this. He gets defensive when I talk to him about it, and thinks its ok to drink 6 beers then drive home from work! Thankfully he knows better than to drive my son in the car after drinking
Not sure what to do....life is all about him really and I just muddle along. I moved 500km away from everyone I know and love to be with him to find out he is an alcoholic. He is not nasty, he is a loving man but this is making me want to leave

Tamerua

Hi Walking, make sure that you check out the Friends and Family section of the board. Don't know how long you have been together. What I do know is that this is a progressive thing and if he doesn't think he has a problem, he can't work on it.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

visch1

Welcome. Things get worse usually if there is a drinking problem, I don't know at this point but see some signposts I had and mine took awhile to develop to get me here. Many of us males have large blinders on when being honest with ourselves and with our feelings. Perhaps you might ask him, what is the worse thing that would happen if he never had another drink/beer. I found Al-anon to be very helpful for many of us. BE WELL

HellJuice

6 beers a night is not really that bad. With that said, it will only get worse.
Here's my advice, since you two are not married yet, if you want to leave him, I suggest you do it asap.
Sounds very harsh but you have no idea the hell you are going to have to go through with him. If the addiction gets worse, you're going to wish you left sooner.

HOWEVER, if you really love him and want to start a family with him and are willing to grind it out no matter what, bring him to this site, get him some help other places.

My wife has stuck through the hell I put her through and I cannot believe she hasn't left yet. Luckily for me I'm now getting sober and it's amazing the happiness and joy I see out of her due to it.

Again it's just my suggestion, I don't want to sound harsh.. I'm just giving you the reality of how hard it is to be in a relationship like yours.

Anna

I hope your boyfriend decides to seek support, but he will have to make that choice for himself. You cannot make him do it. And, alcoholism is a progressive disease and it will get worse unless he stops.

It sounds to me like you know that this is not a healthy situation for you and your son. Have you considered AlAnon as a support for yourself?