terryr97

I was NC for a week or so but I messaged him on fb to see how he was. Much to my surprise, he asked me how I was and congratulated me on doing so well this semester! Usually its all about him. But I messaged him for me. Now I feel better. I wont be doing it often but I dont want him to think he has me as an enemy in the rooms so he wont go to meetings. Plus, for all I put up with, I can do what makes me happy. I know he still cares about me and I know that he screwed up the relationship he always wanted. But I also know that he will always be a liar and manipulator until proven otherwise and he doesn't need a relationship to work on until he has at least one year of sobriety. He picked up a white chip 5 days ago, but its not my business if hes sober or not. I'm a co-dependent work in progress, what can I say. :-)

Kindeyes

Me too. And I'm ok with that.

Keep taking care of you.

gentle hugs
ke

LoveMeNow

Me three and I am actually enjoying working on me, changing and growing.

Some see codependency as some kind of shameful thing, I see it as a blessing now. It's such an awesome opportunity for personal growth. To me, being a "normie" actually seems kind of boring and stagnant now. Jmho.

outtolunch

It takes a codie to know a codie and ^ is codie rationalization.

If he's committed to his own recovery, wild horses could not keep him from seeking recovery. What you say or do, or not, makes no difference. You are not that powerful. None of us are.

I view my own codependency as a disease of my ego.

Lily1918

I understand how you are ok messaging him, because Im ok seeing my ex at church. well if he ever goes. I do agree though that if anyone really does want recovery then absolutely nothing can stop them. keep working on you!
hugs