jazzfish

I was doing well for a while, but started to slowly wander off course. Before I knew it, I had abandoned doing all the things that were making positive changes in my life. I have been drinking everyday and just going through life on autopilot. The misery and numbness came back just as promised. I need to find traction again, but this seems so elusive at times. Back to Day 1. I hope that a return to posting here helps.

Malachi

I know what you mean in terms of traction. I find it helpful to just take it day by day. And it feels long, because it is long, but the days start piling up and you build up some momentum.

doggonecarl

Welcome back, Jazz.

I went a long time trying to quit because I sort of "wanted" to quit, but not because I "needed" to quit. After all, I wasn't an alcoholic who had to quit. This kept me caught up in the loop of quitting and relapse because my committment wasn't really there. As long as I didn't need to quit, it was too easy to talk myself back into drinking.

I now know I needed to quit. I'm an alcoholic. Drinking is off the table. Forever. That mindset has helped me greatly.

Weasel1966

Jazz.... You said the answer already.

Autopilot

For this alcoholic that means blocking my thinking so that I don't have to pay attention to anything. That's my addictive voice taking over my mind and calling the shots.

Staying in control of this addicted mind does take effort. The more time I spend looking at it from across the room the more I can see when it wants to take over.

So as for traction? Turn autopilot off every morning. Say it out loud or how ever you need to make it real. Power that down and power up you! The real pilot here. Not av.

My best to you. Get back at it and remember to smile today!

Grymt

From this place I've found that the likelihood of getting traction is facilitated by taking steps in the right direction. you've made a statement that seems to be that to me. Take another and try to take more. By this simple process you increase the likelihood that you will reach a place of sobriety which I gather is where you wish to be.

least

I'm glad you're giving it another go.

terribob

Good job on giving sobriety a chance! I've been in a cycle myself since I made the decision to quit. Each time I go back it's worse than before. If that's the case for you too, then you know this should be the last time you quit. Best of luck!

waynetheking

Alcoholism never gets better. It always gets worse. We can't beat this folks. Just give up.

Anna

I'm glad you're back and working on sobriety. Learn from what happened and move on. You know you can do this.