help4hubby

I'm really struggling today. Any more now it seems like I say that about everyday. I'm so unsure about the future and I keep going from mad to sad to depressed. I was off to a good start this AM, doing dishes, laundry and cleaning the house. I was staying busy and feeling good about getting things done. Then my mom called and it was all down hill from there. I really do understand her concern but the endless questions and the disappointment in her voice makes everything so much harder on me. I get mad at her but I hold back on saying anything to her bc I know it will only upset her. Then I'm mad when I get off the phone with her so of course I complain to my husband. I'm mad at him too though bc even though I don't come right out and say it to him, I blame him for the stress with my mom bc she's worried bc of his relapse. It can't be good for me to burden him with these complaints even though I don't even know if he realizes why there is so much tension with my mom. This whole thing is really just a nasty cycle of hurt. Part of me wants to just shake him for causing all of this hurt on both of our families. The other part of me wants to shake my mom for not being more understanding of me wanting to support my husband through this. I don't even know what I want anymore. I feel like I'm doing a sh*tty job of being a wife and daughter. I know that I need to go back to work for my own sanity if nothing else but that's a whole other issue... Needed to vent I suppose. Always grateful for a supportive ear on here.

Baya

First of all you are the only person who knows exactly what you can handle. If your asking people for advice you should do nothing you are not ready. Your mother (like most loving parents) wants what is best for you. Once you know what that is it will come much easier to stand by the decisions you have made. When you are feeling scared lonley and insecure because of your situation turn to alanon or a friend on line in your situation. Sharing your feelings with your Mother leaves her wanting to make the choices for you.

I too love my boyfriend who is an alcholic in treatment and I have chosen to stand by him no matter what. Speaking to my family members who have never had any addictions does not seem to work. I have found confort in his Mom, and we have built a relationship of our own.