RevivingOphelia

Some swear by taking their sobriety one day at a time; others feel that not drinking is more of a never again--forever--proposition.

Which one are you?

MidnightBlue

Well, I am "never-forever" type, but that was one day at a time that worked for me.

Cascabel

I'm mostly a "never again" type but on occasion I have to retreat into the "one day at a time" mode. Whatever works is fine with me.

hypochondriac

Great idea for a poll. I am really interested to see the results of this too. I am a forever person but I think I might be in the minority. I hear a lot of people say stuff like 'never say never', like it will be too overwhelming, or 'I don't know what will happen in the future' but that doesn't work with me. If for any reason I suspect I may drink in the future then I will be drunk now. Completely closing the door on alcohol was the only thing which got me past a day (14 months and counting ). There was one guy in AA who really took the mick out of me when I explained the whole 'forever' thing, saying 'oh, you can see into the future can you?'. But that attitude seems really negative and defeatist to me. I believe I have control over my own actions. I didn't before, but I do now and I can choose not to drink. I best stop ranting before I have to justify the 'choice' element... Oh and I always say that I gave up alcohol forever but I'm taking life one day at a time

visch1

I TRY to be one day at a time but at times my ism tries to replace the new tapes with the old ones. BE WELL

miyako

Is there something in between?

I figure I binged for 17 years. THat is a really big chunk of my life where I wasn't fully functional and unable to face my issues without chemical assistance. In order to know if I can do a better job at my life without alcohol I need to give myself at least 17 years as a sober person.

"One day at a time" doesn't do it because then I would probably be checking every day to see if abstaining from alcohol was helping me live better. And it doesn't always. There are plenty of days when a drink would make everything so much better.

On the other hand, I can't handle the thought of NEVER again drinking. That seems like an absolute. And NEVER is a very long time. The rest of my life is a very long time and MAYBE (maybe!) not a realistic expectation. How will I know till I get there? So instead of either/or I have made a long term commitment to to try life sober.

Does anything in life last the whole time? For most of us these days change is the only certain thing. So my way of dealing with that is to make commitments but not say "for the rest of my life, no matter what." That seems to have worked for me in other areas of my life, so far.

flutter

at first, a one day at a time person.. but for some reason that just didn't gel with my real goal and commitment, it felt like I was dangling a drink in front of me "someday, but not today". Once I switched to forever and ever I was actually relieved and felt much more solid in my sobriety/recovery.

RevivingOphelia

That's why I offered the third option--for those whose responses don't quite "fit" with either of the first two or use a combination of the two.

Thanks for your awesome post. I can relate!

CupofJoe

I will never drink again.

That being said, I can only live a day at a time, and therefore can only stay sober a day at a time.

But when I was early in sobriety, I stayed sober a day at a time, not with the thought that I could maybe drink tomorrow, but that if I could just get through that day, the next one was bound to be easier.

Toying with the idea of "maybe" drinking again has always been a dangerous game to play for me. But that's what I had to discover for myself the hard way.

Interesting poll, thanks.

Grymt

I'm definitely going for never again on this one day at a time.

Threshold

I began as a one moment at a time, then one situation at a time, then one day at a time and got to a point where I realized that simply taking drinking/drugging off the table period was what I needed to do. I don't use the words never and ever, don't need to carve it in stone.

I don't drink/drug. That's pretty simple. I have gotten more practiced in living today instead of stressing over tomorrow. That anxiety over the future is what led me to substance abuse.

It's been a process. I had to go through the early stages to get where I am now. It would have been disingenuous of me to have woken up from a drunk and said "never ever" 5 years ago. That works for many people, but it was not my road to trod.

It's taken a long time for me to relax and trust my recovery and sobriety. I considered the never ever early on and it scared the crap out of me, made me feel like a failure before I began. But as I got a hang of this thing and my thoughts and feelings began to evolve I found MY way of relating to my sobriety.

Fallow

I prefer forever. Knowing I can say I will never drink or use drugs again and feel comfortable with that is a huge relief.

There are times when I face uncertainty though and I fall back on 'just make it through today' ideas as a tool in those instances.

Mizzuno

One day at a time. My plan is working so far. The never again moments were always after a night of heavy drinking followed by apologies and regret. I only have today. I might be able to have the forever with each passing day.

Goat

I tried one day at a time. I tried never forever. One day at a time is (for me) too easy to lose commitment to. Never forever was too hard to make a full commitment to. I felt a sense of mourning when I tried to make that commitment.

Now, that commitment to never forever doesn't seem so hard. I'm older. I probably have 20-25 years before I descend into dementia like my mother. I guess I don't see forever as really being all that long. Heck, I could get hit by a bus tomorrow. And I would rather spend the time that I have left sober. I've done enough of the drunk way.

Today I do not have a sense of mourning. I don't want alcohol, ever again.

LadyinBC

I'm a one day at a time gal. So far it has worked for me. I can't think forever, it's just wayyy to much for me right now.

ClearLight

I'm a one-moment-at-a-time guy.
Now and Forever are the same thing.

Legend40

i need to be a "one day at a time" kind of person otherwise ill be right back where i am scared to be

ElegantlyWasted

Trying to do both.... Focus on the present to conquer the future. I think I get there by exerting effort to focus on the consequences of the decisions I make day to day.

isinganyway

One day at a time, because I'm not strong enough to commit to doing ANYTHING forever. I can never drink again by going one day at a time...

oak

I checked one day at a time. Considered "both/other".

I don't know what forever brings. I was sober for many years and never thought I would drink again.

Often, I just think "I don't drink" or I focus on what it feels like to be sober during my current breath. There is a book called One Breath at a Time. I love the concept of breaking it down to breath because that matters to me and I can feel how my body feels sober in this breath.

I also use whatever works in the moment.