ddrayer

Sitting at home feeling completely beat down. Just feeling sorry for myself typical stuff. Was awake as the clock turned over and realized I have 30 days for the thrid time this year. Mad its not more, thankful it was for today.

I have been trying to get sober for 2 years. well 2 years ago I first tried to get sober rather. Anyway a song came on tonight that I was big into when things were as dark as they ever got. Its about death by addiction. And I realized even though today is dark, I don't sit at home hoping to die anymore like I did back then. I don't day dream about not waking up. I am endlessly thankful that even though things are rough, I want to continue to fight and enjoy the crazy ride that life is.

Mizzuno

Things are looking up drayer. Happy 30 to you. This is a wonderful thing. The more we one day at a time it, the better it becomes. You are doing this!

ddrayer

Thanks Mizzuno, hate that I have been a debi downer recently but I feel like this is the one place I can be. Always appreciate your insight!

deeker

dd, 1 yr 7 months ago I was in a nursing home . I had fallen into a depression and lost 80 lbs. Slept 22 hours a day and lost all use of my arms and legs and speech, Was in a diaper and on a feeding tube. They thought I would be in an institution the rest of my life. When ever I feel sorry for myself, I think back to those dark days and a month prior to that I was in a psych ward 17 days twice back to back after a seizure due to withdrawals.

If I get down I don't stay there for very long today, nothing will ever be as bad as that. Had no hope whatsoever. I was catatonic.


Today I am so grateful to just scratch an itch. Thanks to my Lord!

Clean and Sober and very Grateful!

Mizzuno

I didn't get the impression of this person called Debbie Downer. Yes, this is the one place where you can honestly feel what you are feeling. True True.
I

least

Glad to know you're hanging in there. Congrats on thirty days sober!

GracieLou

Congrats on 30 days!