peacedove

Is it common for an addict to often refer to old times constantly? Example: I was reflecting back on our conversations today or things we would talk about. A large majority centered around either what he used to do, an old event that occured or "back in the day" stories. Our ages are 43/44 to help out with my question. I do understand telling an old story or event that was funny or there is a point to bringing it up in conversation, etc...but what about just always talking about the past whether it was just us or with his "friends" while we were together. What does this do for them? Any help with this?

lizwig

Hi Peacedove, I'm sure others will be along shortly to share their ESP but upon reading this I immediately thought "those old glory days are probably when he started using or drinking...You know....before it owned him". Experts also say addicts stop maturing at the age their heavy use starts....often in teenage years. Just a couple of quick thoughts that came to mind.

peacedove

you're right. i remember hearing it once before about the emotional age/beginning of use/addiction. oh man...what a mess. no wonder i was turning circles...i'm 44...there was a 5 year old, a 3 year old and maybe about an 16-18 year old i was dealing with. goodness gracious. time for me to figure out why in the world i did what i did for way too long. i don't want to do this again...ever.

cynical one

Euphoric recall/ war stories/ romanticizing using = releases small amounts of dopamine into the brain. The brain has been trained to do this in anticipation of the use of drugs and the flooding of the brain with dopamine. The brain associates the flooding of dopamine with reward and/or survival. At some point the use of drugs is fun and feels good…until it doesn’t. By talking about things from “back in the day” it brings back the good memories…before the pain, destruction, disappointment, and sickness.

shinebright7

Wow -- my AH talks about the past -- with me and with others. All the time.

What you said, Cynical One, made so much sense and also made me really sad thinking of all the times I have heard him replay moments like that.

As well as times before in his life that he enjoyed. Growing up in a certain area, for example. He even has a letter from his principal from high school saying that he was doing so well in school. This keepsake from a guy who travels super super light.

I was on tons of honor rolls and don't have any of those letters. But he has one -- likely as a reminder of how good things were before he got hung up on his high school girl and started doing drugs and drinking.

My poor sweet husband. This addiction stuff truly is heartbreaking.

I keep getting a deeper and deeper understanding of how sick he is.

God help us.

I really miss him tonight.

(Sweet dreams in your quiet hotel room, babe. xo)

Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery