Anon12

I'm approaching a year since I ended my relationship - next month, just a few days after my birthday my XABF went AWOL while on a make or break holiday. Still after all this time I find thinking about that holiday and the days that followed so painful. I can deal with the past, even the stuff that came after our split but still I find that so raw.

I said that if in a year he had sorted himself out, stayed sober on a programme, and we were both single, we could be back in touch. I know deep down he's not sorted himself out though and come June when it is a year since he moved out, I won't get a knock on the door or a text. I've not heard from him since November when I had needed something on the car we jointly had. I was still in that cycle of expecting him to behave like a considerate individual. Christmas came, nothing. His birthday came a few weeks ago and I ignored it. It's mine in a couple of weeks and I fully expect nothing. Kind of sad after spending nearly six years with someone though.

I have really tried to move on - I've joined photography clubs, met new people and last month I went on holiday to Vietnam on my own and had an amazing time. I know I will be ok but I am dreading the anniversary of that holiday and the time that followed.

That said, although I've not been on here for a while, this forum, along with my family and friends, has really helped me get on with my life and try and see the positive future so thank you.

LexieCat

Congrats on making it through the year. Getting through those first milestones is always tough, but it will get easier in the coming year.

You do, indeed, have a better future to look forward to!

Dublin

Anon 12 a friend of mine had a difficult break up where she had to wait for the end of a year of using a diary that had dates where they had planned things as a couple, within the diary were milestones she would pass, while I thought - just get a different diary I learned that she was using the diary as a grieving tool. Be kind to yourself be aware of the time passing and of the landmark in June then try to move on forgive all and move on. You have taken brave strong decisions. Keep going. One foot in front of the other. I wish you strength and happiness.

Anon12

That's exactly what I feel, like I need to get through the 'firsts' that and after June it will become less painful. When I used to hear a song that reminded me of something, I'd switch radio stations or flick through my ipod. Now I listen to it again and again so it begins to mean less and 'the last time I heard x' was a memory i've created, not a shared one we had.

Thank you for your support!

wicked

Yes! Love this Anon12.
Keep creating your own memories.

Beth