PeppyGirl

Just out of curiosity, for any of you with more sobriety than I (7 days), do you reward yourself when you reach certain milestones (weeks, months, years)? I know that we are supposed to take this 24 hours at a time, but incentives personally motivate me and I was wondering if anyone had any thoughts on this?

PG

P.S. I realize that better health, better relationships, better life should be incentive enough, but I was thinking more along the lines of things that are additional motivators, like time away/trip, massage, mani/pedis, dinner out, gifts, stuff like that.

Dib42

I reward myself at random. I see a toy for my child that normally would be a little too expensive for an impulse buy. I look at my account and see my extra money in there from not drinking. And purchase it, then watch my daughter have a blast destroying it...*LOL* actually she's pretty good at not breaking stuff for a 3.5 year old.

Dib42

A sober friend of mine rewards himselfs with tattoos... he's running out of room though.

Jeni26

I treat my family to something nice...a meal out, a box of chocolates etc.

They put up with me being a drunk Mum and wife for years, they deserve the rewards of my sobriety. I'm more happy for them than I am for myself really. After all, this is how I should have been all along x

MsBubbles88

abslutely! It's a celebration and I incude my family and my recovery family.

ScottFromWI

Honestly to me just being sober is reward enough. Financially I see a reward as well as i'm not spending nearly as much on beer as I used to, but i don't specifically keep the money to spend on something else in lieu. All that should have been going towards other things anyway! I have posted here sometimes when I reach a milestone and the support/congratulations is a nice reward in itself too.

ClearLight

Yup- sure do. Depends on the moment.

The really good thing is, that after a month or so, you will find yourself being rewarded by your sobriety all by itself.

For instance, I have found that I do much better at work. As such, I feel a lot better about going to work period. It's no dream job but I feel a lot better about the job I do. That makes me feel better about myself. And that's a pretty good reward.

Dib42

That does feel good and has pushed me just enough to stay sober in difficult times.

ricmcc

I don't reward myself at specific milestone dates, i.e., March 30 last marked a year without drinking for me, and I noted it, but didn't "celebrate" it. I do, however, reward myself quite often, indulging in hobbies, and such, things that I had tended to forget while an active drunk (active in a very layabout manner, btw ). Plus, life itself is now very much more rewarding. If you think incentives will work for you, well go ahead and treat yourself now and then--I think one of the keys of my getting sober was coming to like myself enough to feel that I was worthy of the odd treat. Best to you in your recovery, rick

sugarbear1

Bubble baths, scented candles, some art supplies, a home recipe for an elegant meal, manicures, pedicures.... Definitely are in my reward box today (and this with a low budget!).

Dib42

I have switched to expensive coffee... No more coffee from a can for this guy... Coffee has become hugely important in my life... almost a fixation

mecanix

I have a lot more money now i don't drink , although i don't actively celebrate milestones , (though i might mark it with a thread here to try and encourage and inspire )

I do now have more disposable income, if i fancy something nice i can get it and it dosn't make such a huge dent in my finances . I've also re-discoverd the feeling of security and peace of mind that having some money in the bank brings

Bestwishes, M

Vlad

My wife is so happy I no longer drink she "rewards" me all the time.

neferkamichael

PeppyGirl, 7 days? You are FANTASTIC. Cogratulations. I'm the kinda person always telling myself, "you should have been doing this for the last 40 years", instead of appreciating the fact I'm 1014 days sober. Made my think, thanks for the thread.

tomsteve

peppygirl, this may not make sense, but my 8 years aint nothing. yer 7 days is an eternity and amazing!!
onto your question, i can complicate the answer, but every day i go to bed sober is a reward in itself.

heres somethign weird,though. when i buy something as simple as socks or underwear, im actually excited about it!

Bruno1979

I used to have a problem whereas I didn't dare to eat too much in case it put me off drinking. To combat this, I always used to wait until I'd finished drinking before I ate. A lot of the time I was totally starving. Insane I know. Now I can eat whenever I feel hungry, within reason of course, and I can eat nice things like chocolate and icecream without the worry of being to full to drink.

Its awesome.

Bruno.

Mcribb

i reward myself by not being so hard on myself or others. I also understand that I am not going to feel great every moment of theday so just keep on moving forward and stay sober.

PeppyGirl

I laughed out loud! Thank you!

I appreciate the feedback. Is anyone is familiar with the book "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman? It is based on the premise that everyone has their own love language that falls into one of the following categories: Words of Affirmation, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, Physical Touch or Quality Time. You and your partner each have your own love language, or way that you feel love and affection should be expressed.

My personal love language is receiving gifts. If my husband brings me a gift (and this can be something completely small like a roll of Lifesavers) I feel that he is showing me love, more so than any of the other 4 ways. He has a different love language that I try to respond to (I am sure you can guess .

The point is that I also need to show myself love in that same way, by getting myself gifts (time or monetary). Everybody has different things that work for them!

PG

Vastreaction

In the past 7 years, I haven't been sober long enough to reward myself, lol.

I definitely plan to. I play video games, but 50-60 dollars is quite a hefty chunk of change to shell out for a game when my addiction mutters "Don't do it, that's 30 beers."

With the extra money I have from no alcohol purchases, I totally plan to reward myself now and then with a video game, maybe a new piece of equipment for my computer, etc.

Quinne

I agree with what everyone has said about sobriety being rewarding in and of itself, but one of the things I love most about having a little more "pocket money" and perception of what's going on around me is buying/doing thoughtful things for others.

I bought Mum a dress a while back (she buys herself a new handbag every couple of years when her current one is falling apart, really never treats herself to anything) and it didn't fit, but she really appreciated the gesture

I'm about to buy the boy an annual membership for a club he's been keen on for quite some time-it amazes me that I now have the capacity to actually take an interest in what someone enjoys as a hobby; he was pleasantly surprised at how thoughtful that move was when I mentioned it

I also love pampering myself with things like a microdermabrasion session here and there, make-up that is a little more pricey, op-shopping, etc. Really it just comes down to when I have the money, it's not linked in with any milestone, per se. My home group secretary actually bought this up with me last week and suggested I reward myself when my 1st anniversary comes up in a little over a month-he's actually offered to buy me a decent steak or something to that effect when the day comes around

I'm thinking a giant, decadent chocolate cake, myself. That and one of those silly badges that says "I'm 1 today!"

Xx