For F***S Sake
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
For F***S Sake
Every 6 months like clock work another F**K up.
Not with alcohol. That has been the least of my problems with RAH just a few months last year 6 months ago to be exact.
The truth is RAH has never been sober. From alcohol yes sans relapse, from prescription pain meds and the other plethora of meds no. This has caused many problems - 2 overdoses very early in the relationship. Then he reduced the intake because I left. That reduction has maintained itself.
So what now you ask? Sleeping and anxiety meds. We have been on vacation for 3 days and AH has been asleep the entire time. Yes for 3 days. Tonight we met my folks for dinner and he was in such a stupor he fell asleep at the table and mumbled incoherenly some of the time which was better than when he was coherent because at those moments he talked about things that he must have been dreaming about. i told my parents the exact opposite, that he had not slept for days. It was so pleasant to watch him try and eat stone crab claws without taking the shell off, falling asleep with his hands in mid air. Watching my parents ignore and feel bad for him for his "sleep deprivation"...my mother offered an ambien and I about jumped over the table.
On to our house where he stumbled out of the car and decided he wanted to light the fireworks we had brought. I said no - then he proceeded to walk out on our deck and try and light a firework except....there wasn't one.
He then came up to the house and fell asleep standing up by a chair, then by the sink in the bathroom, arggghhhh need I say more???
I doubt he will remember our conversation tonight. What happened??? he asked - this isn't right. Yeah - you slept for basically 40 hours straight then woke up and couldn't sleep last night so you overdosed you fuckstick is what i had to say.
He is in bed and I am having a nice Martini for a change - so tired of never having a drink when I am not an alcoholic or a problem drinker and dont drink to encourage his sobriety. **** that tonight.
Is it complicated? Yes - he has health issues that mandate medications. Do I think he abuses them - you bet. Do I think he could get off of them? Yes, I do. Do I love him - yes. He is lovable, and for months at a time pretty damn wonderful but this redheaded bitch has had enough of this every 6 month ********.
I am DONE living with active addiction and tomorrow I will let him know. What he chooses to do he chooses to do. I choose not to. I have seen this man conquer a lot - he has a lot on his plate. This is a line I have tinkered with but not drawn before - not when it comes to his prescription drugs. I was willing to accept a certain level and its hard to argue Dr's that are (over)prescribing and he that is now overindulging. I don't know what it is about vacation - last October is when he admitted to relapsing and here we are again with the same **** different day. Yeah I hope tomorrow he says he will make that step and go to rehab - but if he doesn't, well, se la vie. We shall see what he chooses. As for me tonight the moon is out over the water - barely a breeze and the ocean is lovely and pristine.
Thanks for listening, Red
Not with alcohol. That has been the least of my problems with RAH just a few months last year 6 months ago to be exact.
The truth is RAH has never been sober. From alcohol yes sans relapse, from prescription pain meds and the other plethora of meds no. This has caused many problems - 2 overdoses very early in the relationship. Then he reduced the intake because I left. That reduction has maintained itself.
So what now you ask? Sleeping and anxiety meds. We have been on vacation for 3 days and AH has been asleep the entire time. Yes for 3 days. Tonight we met my folks for dinner and he was in such a stupor he fell asleep at the table and mumbled incoherenly some of the time which was better than when he was coherent because at those moments he talked about things that he must have been dreaming about. i told my parents the exact opposite, that he had not slept for days. It was so pleasant to watch him try and eat stone crab claws without taking the shell off, falling asleep with his hands in mid air. Watching my parents ignore and feel bad for him for his "sleep deprivation"...my mother offered an ambien and I about jumped over the table.
On to our house where he stumbled out of the car and decided he wanted to light the fireworks we had brought. I said no - then he proceeded to walk out on our deck and try and light a firework except....there wasn't one.
He then came up to the house and fell asleep standing up by a chair, then by the sink in the bathroom, arggghhhh need I say more???
I doubt he will remember our conversation tonight. What happened??? he asked - this isn't right. Yeah - you slept for basically 40 hours straight then woke up and couldn't sleep last night so you overdosed you fuckstick is what i had to say.
He is in bed and I am having a nice Martini for a change - so tired of never having a drink when I am not an alcoholic or a problem drinker and dont drink to encourage his sobriety. **** that tonight.
Is it complicated? Yes - he has health issues that mandate medications. Do I think he abuses them - you bet. Do I think he could get off of them? Yes, I do. Do I love him - yes. He is lovable, and for months at a time pretty damn wonderful but this redheaded bitch has had enough of this every 6 month ********.
I am DONE living with active addiction and tomorrow I will let him know. What he chooses to do he chooses to do. I choose not to. I have seen this man conquer a lot - he has a lot on his plate. This is a line I have tinkered with but not drawn before - not when it comes to his prescription drugs. I was willing to accept a certain level and its hard to argue Dr's that are (over)prescribing and he that is now overindulging. I don't know what it is about vacation - last October is when he admitted to relapsing and here we are again with the same **** different day. Yeah I hope tomorrow he says he will make that step and go to rehab - but if he doesn't, well, se la vie. We shall see what he chooses. As for me tonight the moon is out over the water - barely a breeze and the ocean is lovely and pristine.
Thanks for listening, Red
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Dear red, I feel a little guilty to admit to this.......but, I started giggling when you got to the part of eating crabs with the shell on....and falling asleep with hands in midair......
The disease is really sad......but, your post reminded me so much of the QUACKERS thread.
a slightly twisted dandylion.
The disease is really sad......but, your post reminded me so much of the QUACKERS thread.
a slightly twisted dandylion.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: northeast
Posts: 468
UGH ... so sorry. Your DH reminds me of my 40 yo nephew. His drug of choice was crack. Now he has many longer periods of recovery and hasn't abused crack in years, but it seems like every six months or so- he screws up on *something*. I can't even remember them all- but there was benadryl (an unbelievable amount) because he couldn't sleep (poor baby), or anything he can he a doc to prescribe. Most recently it was adderall because he couldn't concentrate. He of course, quickly abused it to the point of ordering it online, etc. I've come to believe he just doesn't like feeling normal at all and will abuse just about anything.
I'm sorry he managed to ruin another vacation. Why? Do you think he has more anxiety around different situations and self medicates?
I'm sorry he managed to ruin another vacation. Why? Do you think he has more anxiety around different situations and self medicates?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 267
I am sorry, Red. My ABF is similar in many ways - he thinks that just because he kicked coke and heroin 6 years ago that somehow he is entitled to abuse alcohol. Why they can't get it through their heads that they can't use ANYTHING is beyond me. Instead, they just find something else. It is maddening.
I hope it goes well for you. If not, enjoy your vacation anyway.
I hope it goes well for you. If not, enjoy your vacation anyway.
Occasional poor taste poster
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,542
You strike me as a strong person who is ready for a positive change in your life. I have a feeling you'll be just fine.
Yuhp. I remember a few of those evenings.
Originally Posted by redatlanta 
As for me tonight the moon is out over the water - barely a breeze and the ocean is lovely and pristine.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Memphis, TN
Posts: 2,884
My wife's last binge, ambien and booze, before I left had her sitting on the couch grinning like an idiot eating pistachios, shell and all.
The crunching finally drove me crazy so I took them from her.
Your friend,
The crunching finally drove me crazy so I took them from her.
Your friend,
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Seeking Peace
Posts: 1,371
Red,
My exah gave up heroin (I guess, anyway) but he went on to abuse alcohol for years before I finally left. Without a solid program of recovery, they just seem to bounce around from substance to substance. Does it really matter WHAT they are abusing? No, it doesn't.
At some point, we get to the 'enough is enough' phase. Sounds like you might be there. Keep posting. Keep venting. Keep working on YOU.
Hugs...
Mary
My exah gave up heroin (I guess, anyway) but he went on to abuse alcohol for years before I finally left. Without a solid program of recovery, they just seem to bounce around from substance to substance. Does it really matter WHAT they are abusing? No, it doesn't.
At some point, we get to the 'enough is enough' phase. Sounds like you might be there. Keep posting. Keep venting. Keep working on YOU.
Hugs...
Mary
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
Ugg - they are such a trainwreck, aren't they! Thanks for the giggle. For all the misery they cause, we are entitled to laugh at that $h!t. Sending you hugs and hopes for the rest of your vacation to be PEACEFUL AND SERENE!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,407
Thankfully there were no actual fireworks in his hand, could have done some real harm. I think we all get to a point where we're pushed to our limits. Sounds like you're there. You have every right to be angry and fed up. But before you tell him you're done, make sure you're done. Don't make empty threats.
I hope your day is better. Sending (((hugs)))
I hope your day is better. Sending (((hugs)))
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 102
Hi Red,
So sorry to hear about this. My AW would do the same thing with pain pills and sleep aids, not pushing it quite so hard, but obviously over-using them (vicodin after surgery, lunesta, etc.). It is exasperating when you can't deny that they might have a need for them, but it is so annoying when they can't just use them for the intended purpose. Too bad you felt you had to lie/apologize/hide his behavior with your parents rather than make him live with the embarrassment and consequences. I know we are not supposed to cover for them, but it is so difficult sometimes, my sympathies.
So sorry to hear about this. My AW would do the same thing with pain pills and sleep aids, not pushing it quite so hard, but obviously over-using them (vicodin after surgery, lunesta, etc.). It is exasperating when you can't deny that they might have a need for them, but it is so annoying when they can't just use them for the intended purpose. Too bad you felt you had to lie/apologize/hide his behavior with your parents rather than make him live with the embarrassment and consequences. I know we are not supposed to cover for them, but it is so difficult sometimes, my sympathies.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
