non child support
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 559
non child support
I haven't heard from my xah for quite awhile. In fact, he has seen my son 3 times in just about a year. I have no idea where he is living. I am not even sure of his phone number. And, I am cool with that. good riddance! He is way behind on child support. There was a letter issued that he was getting his drivers license suspended for non payment of child support. Then, all the sudden I am starting to get 2 payments a month. Strange amounts (lesser and lesser)...like it went from 170.03 to the last payment of 74.66. So, I am curious if had to make a payment plan with the state in order to get his drivers license re-established. He is still 2k behind on support. Anyways, just curious. Anyone ever have something similar happen. Thankfully, I haven't heard from him. I don't need his drama.
It really is so nice to not have him in my life. I am still angry, but not nearly as I was. When my mind starts to go off on a tangent I am able to stop myself and calm myself down. I have accepted. I don't think I have any feelings of love for him anymore. I just feel cold. I am trying to think about the good times, but all I think about is what a loser he was. I don't regret my choice of spending 16 years with him. I feel that I learned something from this experience. Today for some reason, I just feel low. Just logging into the child support website I got a little anxious. I calmed myself down, and asked why? It is absurd. But, I am curious if I got some money coming. But, as I was looking at the site the reality of "wow, I can't beleive this is my life.I can't believe this happened to me" kinda hit me. I will never forget being in the child support court and just hearing my poor sons name called out for child support. I was embarassed.
If he only knew how hard it is to be a 100% single mom. I do everything on my own. I have my son 24/7. I pay for everything. This year was a really bad financial year for me. I mean bad. BUT I have gotten through it. I caught up on all my bills and my son has everything he needs. But finances are a constant worry. Will I have enough for x,y and z. And this SOB is doing what exactly? oh, it pisses me off. And he dare blame me for this mess? See...still a little angry.
All in all we are doing well, my son and I. Tonight I feel down, but this isn't the norm. I am proud of my independence. I am proud of being able to support my son even though I am scared. I am proud that I do everything for my little guy..even though it is just exhausting at times. But, I am strong. It really does keep getting better and better.
Sometimes I just want to cancel the child support because then it will end any ties. Maybe he will forget about us forever. But, I just can't do it. It is nice to
to ba able to have proof for the non believers and enablers...see...look...he is a deadbeat! And, it is nice to have some random extra cash here and there. And, he has to have some sort of consequence. Sometimes I feel like he has none. He is doing everything he wants...or so it seems.
see...there is the anger!
At least I know what a grown up is now. I know what a man should be. I know what a father and husband should be. My expectations are high. Way high!
CHEERS!!!!!
It really is so nice to not have him in my life. I am still angry, but not nearly as I was. When my mind starts to go off on a tangent I am able to stop myself and calm myself down. I have accepted. I don't think I have any feelings of love for him anymore. I just feel cold. I am trying to think about the good times, but all I think about is what a loser he was. I don't regret my choice of spending 16 years with him. I feel that I learned something from this experience. Today for some reason, I just feel low. Just logging into the child support website I got a little anxious. I calmed myself down, and asked why? It is absurd. But, I am curious if I got some money coming. But, as I was looking at the site the reality of "wow, I can't beleive this is my life.I can't believe this happened to me" kinda hit me. I will never forget being in the child support court and just hearing my poor sons name called out for child support. I was embarassed.
If he only knew how hard it is to be a 100% single mom. I do everything on my own. I have my son 24/7. I pay for everything. This year was a really bad financial year for me. I mean bad. BUT I have gotten through it. I caught up on all my bills and my son has everything he needs. But finances are a constant worry. Will I have enough for x,y and z. And this SOB is doing what exactly? oh, it pisses me off. And he dare blame me for this mess? See...still a little angry.
All in all we are doing well, my son and I. Tonight I feel down, but this isn't the norm. I am proud of my independence. I am proud of being able to support my son even though I am scared. I am proud that I do everything for my little guy..even though it is just exhausting at times. But, I am strong. It really does keep getting better and better.
Sometimes I just want to cancel the child support because then it will end any ties. Maybe he will forget about us forever. But, I just can't do it. It is nice to
to ba able to have proof for the non believers and enablers...see...look...he is a deadbeat! And, it is nice to have some random extra cash here and there. And, he has to have some sort of consequence. Sometimes I feel like he has none. He is doing everything he wants...or so it seems.
see...there is the anger! At least I know what a grown up is now. I know what a man should be. I know what a father and husband should be. My expectations are high. Way high!
CHEERS!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
So, I am curious if had to make a payment plan with the state in order to get his drivers license re-established. He is still 2k behind on support.
He moved to Louisiana.
Beth
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 505
Awww....I'm so sorry you're having a low day today, story. But you're really doing so GREAT, and you should be SO PROUD of how well you're taking care of and raising your son - he's got a great mommy, someone who's setting a wonderful example for him to look up to as he grows up!! Hang in there, and I hope tomorrow is a better day for you!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 46
You know I'm sorry you are going through this. It's possible he made a payment plan to re-establish his license every state is different. In CA it's possible to do that. Like I said I'm sorry you have to go through this.
I am a 100% single mom, and I do everything on my own. My son's father, is NOT an addict, and I deal with such things. He owes me $30,000 in child support he is a professor in a college and makes good money. Again, NOT an addict and it's hard to deal with him, regarding this issue.
I am a 100% single mom, and I do everything on my own. My son's father, is NOT an addict, and I deal with such things. He owes me $30,000 in child support he is a professor in a college and makes good money. Again, NOT an addict and it's hard to deal with him, regarding this issue.
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
I am proud of my independence. I am proud of being able to support my son even though I am scared. I am proud that I do everything for my little guy..even though it is just exhausting at times. But, I am strong. It really does keep getting better and better.
Good things to remind yourself of whenever you feel down! You sound like a wonderful mom and your ex may appear to be doing whatever he wants, but look what he is missing.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
in Calif - how it kind of works
Originally Posted by story74 
There was a letter issued that he was getting his drivers license suspended for non payment of child support. Then, all the sudden I am starting to get 2 payments a month. Strange amounts (lesser and lesser)...like it went from 170.03 to the last payment of 74.66. So, I am curious if had to make a payment plan with the state in order to get his drivers license re-established. He is still 2k behind on support. Anyways, just curious. Anyone ever have something similar happen.
not sure where you are located
my cousin here in Calif fell way behind in his child support
the State took his license
he started payments to the State
State gave him back his license
he fell short again with his payments
today he has no license once again
keep on the State if he falls short
sounds like they have him in their sights now
most all of us want to be able to drive
here in Calif if one is a Contractor
the State will also take away ones contractors license
makes it very hard to work and keep the business going
onehigherpower
my cousin here in Calif fell way behind in his child support
the State took his license
he started payments to the State
State gave him back his license
he fell short again with his payments
today he has no license once again
keep on the State if he falls short
sounds like they have him in their sights now
most all of us want to be able to drive
here in Calif if one is a Contractor
the State will also take away ones contractors license
makes it very hard to work and keep the business going
onehigherpower
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