abigail255

Hi, I'm 16 and I have a bit of a problem. I don't think I'm an alcoholic as I don't get any physical withdrawal without drink but I haven't gone a week without alcohol since I was 12. I hardly ever get drunk and I'm never hungover even though I drink about a quarter to a third bottle of vodka a night. I feel quite guilty about this and sometimes add water to the bottle to make it look like I've drunk less. I live with my sister and her partner and they buy me the alcohol, I think they know but choose not to say anything. I get good grades and am healthy in other respects, I used to have alot of mental health problems and I'm now the healthiest I've been in years but I can't seem to shake this. I've tried to avoid it and I can stop for a few days but the second I'm offered any or there's some in the house I drink again. I don't know why I do it, I'm not physically addicted. I'm not sure whether or not I want to stop, I'm worried about how much it costs and I don't want to tell my sister because I'm scared she'll stop buying it and I want to do it on my own terms and I don't want to be made to go to therapy or have social services as I've only just managed to get out of the mental health system.

Sorry, that was alot longer than I intended, I just needed to get it out there. I don't want to complain as my life is perhaps better than it's ever been before. I want to stop drinking, or at least stop being dependant, I don't want to spend the rest of my life drinking this much.

Dee74

Hi Abigail

I moved your thread to Newcomers Forum where you will find more response.
You posted in our Daily Support Forum which is only for the continuation of existing threads.

I understand you want to do it on your own terms but what if that's not possible?

I think at least you need to talk to your sister. Have you thought about things like AA - that may be another option?

D

Hevyn

Welcome abigail. I'm so glad you came here to talk it over.

I'm so impressed that at 16 you have the sense to reach out and seek help. You'll be avoiding so much pain and misery later in life if you get this figured out now. We're happy you found us - we want to help.

least

I hope we can help you as much as this place has helped me.

BigRed57

Hi Abigail - Today was my first day on this website too. I wish I had gone to AA when I was your age. You sound like I did. No one can decide if you are an alcoholic but you. It doesn't matter how little/much you drink, it's what it makes you feel like afterwards. You may think you're not physically addicted, but it sounds as if you're depending on it a little to get through situations. Do you feel shame/remorse/guilty etc when you wake up the following day? Do you have black outs (where you can't remember all/part of the night)? If they haven't started yet, believe me, they do for most of us. You have nothing to lose & everything to gain by checking out an open meeting for AA. I don't know why you were in a mental health system & it's not my business. But maybe try to eliminate the booze & see how you do for a change with nothing in your system. Good luck & hope to hear back from you on your journey.

abigail255

Thanks for all your replies, I will think about AA but don't want to appear attention seeking when I know I could be alot worse. I am not going to drink tonight and will try not to this week, I've got exams coming up and my sister and I keep arguing so tensions are running high and it will be difficult. I am worried about two years time when I have easy access to alcohol so I'm going to try to quit.

BigRed57

Just thinking about you & wondering how you are doing since you last posted. Are you o.k.? Only a suggestion, but I re-read your post & noticed you were "worried about in 2 yrs time." One of the AA slogans is "One Day At A Time.' Even people with a lot of sober time have to keep it in the day. Sometimes I have to break days down into hours. I have a problem with thinking too far ahead too; like worrying about when my son goes to college (he's 14 - HELLO!?!) I can get all worked out about something happening years from now & where does it get me? Crazy. This brings me back to being present for what is going on now. Enjoy things as they are today, for "This too shall pass." It applies to both good and bad feelings/situations, etc. You are not alone.

GracieLou

I know you posted this over a week ago but I hope you are still lurking and reading.

Everybody has their own worse. Their own bottom. There are people in AA that have had it 100 times worse then me just as there are people that have joined AA after only a few months or years of drinking. That does not mean I did not need or deserve help.

I guess I have two questions or maybe these are questions you need to ask yourself...

Why do you feel it is attention seeking?

When do you feel it will be bad enough to seek help? Do you want to wait until it is worse?

It sounds like you have already realized you are dependent on alcohol and that is the first step.

I am an alcoholic. I know this. It is the first drink that gets me drunk. There is no control for me. There is no drinking to much or to often. It is picking up that first drink to begin with that is my undoing.

Only you can decided if you are an alcoholic. I hope you seek some help and confide in your sister. Allowing her to continue to buy it is just maker her an unwilling participant in your dependency.

RevivingOphelia

There has been studies showing that adolescents do not become as inebriated as adults in terms of mental and physical functioning; HOWEVER, that being said, the alcohol will start to affect you in all kinds of ways--none of which are good for your future and could possibly lead to many years of despair.

I think it's great that you are acknowledging a potential problem, and I urge you to consider nipping it in the bud now and not wait for the anguish that may come from an alcoholic future.