Update on AGF and First Al-Anon Meeting
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 11
Update on AGF and First Al-Anon Meeting
Hey all,
It's been a little while since I last posted, but I'm happy to say that things have taken a turn for the better. On Monday, I went to my first Al-Anon meeting and was completely blown away. It was such an incredible experience. I felt so connected with people from all walks of life that are going through a similar experience. Even though it was my first meeting, when I went there, the amount of support and straight, upfront talk that I received was overwhelming. It felt as though my fellow group members have known me my entire life. I know that this sounds like a strange thing to say, but it was just the level of understanding that I received that really knocked my socks off. It's been one meeting and I already feel stronger and already have a different perspective on things. I can only imagine how much good years of Al-Anon would do. Needless to say, I'm excited for tomorrow night. I feel as though it's going to be the clincher in getting my life back when living with an AGF.
As for the AGF, she's doing well! Once I made it perfectly clear that I was stepping back and that she would have to take control of her own sobriety, it was as if things clued in with her. She wasn't happy about it at first, given that I made it clear that I'd support her, but that she has to help herself. After a short while, it was as if a light bulb clicked on and she realized that she's the one that determines if SHE gets sober and that SHE has to want it. I know that she's not fully there yet, but progress is being made. She's contacted the local addictions assessment program run by a local hospital and she'll be meeting them tomorrow morning. She's also found another addictions clinic in the city that can provide her with naltrexone and Campral treatments. She's really been trying hard in finding services and getting in touch with them so that she can get sober. I know that she hasn't fully realized HOW much pain she's caused, but she's cluing into the fact that she has caused pain. She's a good person, so this upsets her. She's also very intelligent, and as much as she didn't like it at first, she's accepted that she has to take the first step in getting sober. Still, as good as things are going, I'm not 100% optimistic, because I know how easily things can slip in the earliest phases of recovery. The proof will be in the pudding, as I always say.
So, I just wanted to give everyone a quick update and once again thank everyone for the support and advice that you've given me with this situation. It helped me help myself by letting go and it played a part in getting my AGF to want to help herself.
It's been a little while since I last posted, but I'm happy to say that things have taken a turn for the better. On Monday, I went to my first Al-Anon meeting and was completely blown away. It was such an incredible experience. I felt so connected with people from all walks of life that are going through a similar experience. Even though it was my first meeting, when I went there, the amount of support and straight, upfront talk that I received was overwhelming. It felt as though my fellow group members have known me my entire life. I know that this sounds like a strange thing to say, but it was just the level of understanding that I received that really knocked my socks off. It's been one meeting and I already feel stronger and already have a different perspective on things. I can only imagine how much good years of Al-Anon would do. Needless to say, I'm excited for tomorrow night. I feel as though it's going to be the clincher in getting my life back when living with an AGF.
As for the AGF, she's doing well! Once I made it perfectly clear that I was stepping back and that she would have to take control of her own sobriety, it was as if things clued in with her. She wasn't happy about it at first, given that I made it clear that I'd support her, but that she has to help herself. After a short while, it was as if a light bulb clicked on and she realized that she's the one that determines if SHE gets sober and that SHE has to want it. I know that she's not fully there yet, but progress is being made. She's contacted the local addictions assessment program run by a local hospital and she'll be meeting them tomorrow morning. She's also found another addictions clinic in the city that can provide her with naltrexone and Campral treatments. She's really been trying hard in finding services and getting in touch with them so that she can get sober. I know that she hasn't fully realized HOW much pain she's caused, but she's cluing into the fact that she has caused pain. She's a good person, so this upsets her. She's also very intelligent, and as much as she didn't like it at first, she's accepted that she has to take the first step in getting sober. Still, as good as things are going, I'm not 100% optimistic, because I know how easily things can slip in the earliest phases of recovery. The proof will be in the pudding, as I always say.
So, I just wanted to give everyone a quick update and once again thank everyone for the support and advice that you've given me with this situation. It helped me help myself by letting go and it played a part in getting my AGF to want to help herself.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,407
I"m so glad to hear things are going well! AlAnon is an amazing place for healing, it's funny how we can feel such a tight bond with complete strangers isn't it? Glad to hear your GF is taking her own steps to recovery. I wish you both great success and happiness. 
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
What a great report, all the way around!
I hope she does recover, and I think that allowing her to shoulder the burden of the work involved in that increases her chances of success (provided she really wants it) exponentially.
And I'm really glad you had such a positive experience with Al-Anon. It's a wonderful resource, and one that you will probably want to add to the repertoire of information you can make available to the families of your clients.
I hope she does recover, and I think that allowing her to shoulder the burden of the work involved in that increases her chances of success (provided she really wants it) exponentially.
And I'm really glad you had such a positive experience with Al-Anon. It's a wonderful resource, and one that you will probably want to add to the repertoire of information you can make available to the families of your clients.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 11
LexieCat, you brought up a great idea in suggesting that I add Al-Anon (and Nar-Anon) to my repertoire of services to provide my clients. I would have overlooked them in the past had I not attended an Al-Anon meeting. I now know that these services can help families heal and help them help themselves when dealing with a loved one that's an A. In my own experiences as an RA, it's one thing to be given a list of services to check out, but it's another thing to be given the advice as to how each of the services can help. In any form of recovery, be it the user's recovery or the family/loved one's recovery, support is what makes or breaks recovery. The key to support IMO isn't always talking to some addictions counselor with no real exposure to addiction and alcoholism, it's connecting with people that are going through the same situation. My take on recovery is that textbooks on recovery and coping get you nowhere, you have to get out there and connect with people in the same boat as you to get the upfront feedback and the real support.
While things seem to be going better for the AGF, I'm still not 100% optimistic, as I said in my original post. Again, from my own experiences as an RA, I know how risky the very first phases of recovery can be. There's such a huge risk of slipping and relapse because (a) the A hasn't developed coping skills yet (b) they haven't fully owned their addiction and realized the damage that it's caused and (c) they haven't received enough support and straight talk yet. The ball's in her court now, I just hope that she sticks to her guns and follows through. Making appointments with services is one thing, but following through with it and having the will to get sober are completely different.
While things seem to be going better for the AGF, I'm still not 100% optimistic, as I said in my original post. Again, from my own experiences as an RA, I know how risky the very first phases of recovery can be. There's such a huge risk of slipping and relapse because (a) the A hasn't developed coping skills yet (b) they haven't fully owned their addiction and realized the damage that it's caused and (c) they haven't received enough support and straight talk yet. The ball's in her court now, I just hope that she sticks to her guns and follows through. Making appointments with services is one thing, but following through with it and having the will to get sober are completely different.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 585
Great update! Glad to hear your AGF is taking steps, and I hope for her sake that she follows through. And I hope for your sake that you follow through on your own recovery. You're making great strides - keep up the good work! 
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