praying4us

This is my first post my husbands an drug addict and its killing our family we have been togeather since high school im 30 yrs old and tired of waiting on him to stop he says he is going to or that he has to ween himself off but it never happens he is addicted to xanax and vicoden perks you name it he has probley done it i love him but when he is on xanax he is so mean to me he yells he is always mad at me but he is so nice to everyone else why does he have this anger towards me i dont do drugs so i dont know what he is going through ..

Dib42

Xanax makes me very moody. I think its probably a bit easier to lash out at people you know and are comfortable with that you know will forgive you, than it is to risk a relationship with a friend who may not forgive your moodiness.

I loves me the pain killers and etc, but never managed to successfully get my self addicted to those. Alcohol is my poisen of choice.

There is a section of here for the family and friends of addicts, that might be a good source for you to check out. I haven't been in it myself, but I'm the problem, not my friends or family sooooooo just haven't really needed to go there yet.

I can tell you from my experience, that I honestly believed I could quit, or ween myself off of liquor, as I knew i was an alcoholic, but didn't really have a solid plan on quitting, I had a nifty plan that my alcoholic self came up with, and that always seemed to lead to a day of sobriety, followed by a few weeks of drinking, rinse and repeat.

My wife was rather supportive of my drinking and my desire to quit... She really doesn't care what I do, as long as I function. However, when I told her i was quitting, she does remind me that I'm supposed to be quitting anytime i slip up and bring a bottle home.

I don't think you can "wait" for someone to quit, if they don't have a plan. Its easy to say "i'm quitting" and even mean it, but its very hard to do without a good plan/path. Also he needs to want to quit, and not just say it because it might get you off his back.

You're making a good step by coming here, read up and post your questions, and even if you can't help him, maybe you can help yourself and your family.

Coldfusion

Welcome!

Your husband sounds like me when I was using my drugs. There's lots of folks here who have quit using and turned their lives around. There's also a section for family members here Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Dee74

welcome to SR prayiung4us

I'm sorry for your situation but I'm glad you found us.

There's a lot of support, advice and wisdom here - do check out the link Coldfusion posted as well

D

least

I'm glad you found us and joined the family. Are you getting any support for yourself? Sounds like you could use some.

divinespark

One would think that xanax and pain killers would mellow him out?

Anna

I don't think addicts are ever mellowed out. It doesn't seem to work that way.

Hevyn

Welcome to a great place, Praying4us. I hope knowing you aren't alone will help - many here are going through the same thing. We're glad you joined us.

Dee74

I merged your two threads here praying4us

D

praying4us

Thankyou everyone for your thoughts im new to this ill go to the friends and family page too thankyou again im so glad i found this place i feel so alone all the time its nice to have people understand what me and our kids deal with .

AnvilheadII

welcome new person - i'm sorry for what brings you here, yet please know addiction is what brought all of us here - be we addicts or loved ones. we feel your pain and understand your confusion.

the kids are what truly matters here...what will give them that safe happy life they deserve? kid life should be more Disneyland than Nightmare on Elm Street. the drugs your AH is taking have control of him right now...he is not able to BE a husband or a father right now...addiction trumps all that. for him to get from where he is right now, active addiction, to recovery - a complete state of non-use and an active program is quite a leap. even IF today he said NO more, it would be a long long road. right now he is giving no indication that he is remotely serious about launching that effort.

take care of you. take care of the kids. do WHATEVER you have to!