144 days sober
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Nova Scotia
Posts: 100
144 days sober
Every day that I'm sober the happier I become. I grow more each day, I feel emotions a lot more these days. My heart will race when I'm excited or happy. I don't know if I was never this happy before or if the alcohol made me so numb that I didn't know what it was like to feel any emotion besides anger.
A few days ago I was faced with a party. It was a party for girls only. So naturally they decided to have drinks. Everyone was drinking but me and it wasn't easy for me to be around. I almost said " f*** it" and started drinking. I don't think people realize how hard it is although it isn't their problem. I left the party feeling frustrated and angry even tho I had a good time. We laughed and had fun. I was beyond jealous of them, I went home feeling angry and sad. I crawled into bed and cried. I was feeling sorry for myself. Then I realized I didn't need to, I was happy with my sobriety before I went to that party and I shouldn't second guess my decision. Alcohol has such an impact on my life that it makes me cry even when I'm not drinking it lol. Makes me feel crazy but it's apart of healing. I decided I wasn't going to pity myself anymore so I crawled out of bed and shook it off. Not every moment of every day is going to be easy but you have to remember that they're just moments and they do pass. You will be fine if you remain true to your self and your commitment to sobriety.
A few days ago I was faced with a party. It was a party for girls only. So naturally they decided to have drinks. Everyone was drinking but me and it wasn't easy for me to be around. I almost said " f*** it" and started drinking. I don't think people realize how hard it is although it isn't their problem. I left the party feeling frustrated and angry even tho I had a good time. We laughed and had fun. I was beyond jealous of them, I went home feeling angry and sad. I crawled into bed and cried. I was feeling sorry for myself. Then I realized I didn't need to, I was happy with my sobriety before I went to that party and I shouldn't second guess my decision. Alcohol has such an impact on my life that it makes me cry even when I'm not drinking it lol. Makes me feel crazy but it's apart of healing. I decided I wasn't going to pity myself anymore so I crawled out of bed and shook it off. Not every moment of every day is going to be easy but you have to remember that they're just moments and they do pass. You will be fine if you remain true to your self and your commitment to sobriety.
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, Stash.
I know what it takes to resist this temptation and feel jealous of other's drinking. But sobriety is much better than a moment of "drinking pleasure". You should feel proud of yourself, demonstrating willpower and strong commitment.
Best wishes to you. Have a great day.
I know what it takes to resist this temptation and feel jealous of other's drinking. But sobriety is much better than a moment of "drinking pleasure". You should feel proud of yourself, demonstrating willpower and strong commitment.
Best wishes to you. Have a great day.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,062
I'm proud of you Stash...you and I share the same sober time and I can relate to still having times when I, too, struggle with sobriety. While my desire to stay stronger is there, I can also find myself in tears or isolating or being angry. For me it is almost like I feel like I have "failed" at controling my drinking and I'm paying for it somehow. The reality, however, is that the sober life is MUCH better. Like you said, it does pass. The recovery time from the down moments is easier. Stick with it!
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by Stash 
I was beyond jealous of them,...
Conquering an addiction, on the other hand, is an invaluable life skill. Plenty of newbies here are beyond jealous of your 144 days.
Keep it going!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Nova Scotia
Posts: 100
Plenty of newbies here are beyond jealous of your 144 days.
That's why I love this Site. So much support and when I'm thinking negatively and pitying myself someone shows me the bright side. Let's me now how well I am doing for myself and I'm really very thankful for everyone's kind words. Thank you all. I would be lost with out all u strangers lol.
That's why I love this Site. So much support and when I'm thinking negatively and pitying myself someone shows me the bright side. Let's me now how well I am doing for myself and I'm really very thankful for everyone's kind words. Thank you all. I would be lost with out all u strangers lol.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Spokane, WA
Posts: 90
[QUOTE=Stash;3923791]Plenty of newbies here are beyond jealous of your 144 days.
I am one of those newbies with only 58 days. Good job on working through that situation and not picking up and congrats on 144 days.
I am one of those newbies with only 58 days. Good job on working through that situation and not picking up and congrats on 144 days.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Jacksonville, Florida
Posts: 4,043
Stay strong. Early in my sobriety I had a resentment against those who could drink socially. I grew to accept the fact that I wasn't one of those people and never would be. I no longer resent the fact that I can't drink and I don't see my journey as a task but rather embrace it as an opportunity to live a more fulfilling life. I have been clean and sober since Aug 21, 2007 and enjoy this new way of living. It hasn't all been peaches and cream but one thing I'm sure of......I can get through anything without ever having to take a drink again.
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