I have to see him and don't know what to do.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Denver
Posts: 24
I have to see him and don't know what to do.
My ex and I booked a trip together last September. It's in June, we're flying together to London where we were supposed to stay with my mom for a few days, then we fly to Amsterdam for a band trip -- we have a room together and are to fly back to London then Denver together. It's all paid for and set - and it wasn't cheap and it's not refundable. We'd been so excited and planning it all for months.
He'll also be at a concert I'm going to on Thursday - I don't want to skip it because of him; I've been really looking forward to this. I talked him into going, he took time off work so we could go together.
The London/Amsterdam trip concerns me more. We'll be on the same 9 hour flight to London. From the airport we were supposed to travel together to my mom's village, where we were staying with her, then travel to Amsterdam.
What a nightmare. Part of me feels like we should just be friends til after the trip, but honestly the thought of him makes me sick right now. The fact that he'll be in England for 3 days with no place to stay & no travel partner makes me feel... I dunno. Not really bad but sad that our great trip has fallen apart.
Sorry for so many posts. I'm just using this place to vent and I appreciate everyone's input very much.
He'll also be at a concert I'm going to on Thursday - I don't want to skip it because of him; I've been really looking forward to this. I talked him into going, he took time off work so we could go together.
The London/Amsterdam trip concerns me more. We'll be on the same 9 hour flight to London. From the airport we were supposed to travel together to my mom's village, where we were staying with her, then travel to Amsterdam.
What a nightmare. Part of me feels like we should just be friends til after the trip, but honestly the thought of him makes me sick right now. The fact that he'll be in England for 3 days with no place to stay & no travel partner makes me feel... I dunno. Not really bad but sad that our great trip has fallen apart.
Sorry for so many posts. I'm just using this place to vent and I appreciate everyone's input very much.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 951
Welcome to Sober Recovery. Glad you found the forum, sorry you needed it, but glad you are here.
Don't worry about posting too much! It's a great place to vent, to get insight, to grieve, find support and understanding. You'll find so many people that have been in your shoes and made it through.
Did anyone mention the stickies at the top of the forum to you? They are really helpful and a good place to do some reading.
I would start by not worrying about June yet. Put that out of your mind, unless there is something you need to do unrelated to him, or some part of the trip that depends upon him.
Tomorrow is Wednesday - worry about that. Then Thursday morning you can think about whatever might go on.
What I'm suggesting is taking one day at a time for now, until you feel a little better and stronger. No telling what may happen between now and the next thing we are worrying about, and the worrying does not help.
Stick around here and keep reading and posting. You'll come up with a plan for getting through all of this.
Peace,
Hanna
Don't worry about posting too much! It's a great place to vent, to get insight, to grieve, find support and understanding. You'll find so many people that have been in your shoes and made it through.
Did anyone mention the stickies at the top of the forum to you? They are really helpful and a good place to do some reading.
I would start by not worrying about June yet. Put that out of your mind, unless there is something you need to do unrelated to him, or some part of the trip that depends upon him.
Tomorrow is Wednesday - worry about that. Then Thursday morning you can think about whatever might go on.
What I'm suggesting is taking one day at a time for now, until you feel a little better and stronger. No telling what may happen between now and the next thing we are worrying about, and the worrying does not help.
Stick around here and keep reading and posting. You'll come up with a plan for getting through all of this.
Peace,
Hanna
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Denver
Posts: 24
Originally Posted by Hanna 
Welcome to Sober Recovery. Glad you found the forum, sorry you needed it, but glad you are here.
Don't worry about posting too much! It's a great place to vent, to get insight, to grieve, find support and understanding. You'll find so many people that have been in your shoes and made it through.
Did anyone mention the stickies at the top of the forum to you? They are really helpful and a good place to do some reading.
I would start by not worrying about June yet. Put that out of your mind, unless there is something you need to do unrelated to him, or some part of the trip that depends upon him.
Tomorrow is Wednesday - worry about that. Then Thursday morning you can think about whatever might go on.
What I'm suggesting is taking one day at a time for now, until you feel a little better and stronger. No telling what may happen between now and the next thing we are worrying about, and the worrying does not help.
Stick around here and keep reading and posting. You'll come up with a plan for getting through all of this.
Peace,
Hanna
Don't worry about posting too much! It's a great place to vent, to get insight, to grieve, find support and understanding. You'll find so many people that have been in your shoes and made it through.
Did anyone mention the stickies at the top of the forum to you? They are really helpful and a good place to do some reading.
I would start by not worrying about June yet. Put that out of your mind, unless there is something you need to do unrelated to him, or some part of the trip that depends upon him.
Tomorrow is Wednesday - worry about that. Then Thursday morning you can think about whatever might go on.
What I'm suggesting is taking one day at a time for now, until you feel a little better and stronger. No telling what may happen between now and the next thing we are worrying about, and the worrying does not help.
Stick around here and keep reading and posting. You'll come up with a plan for getting through all of this.
Peace,
Hanna
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Walker, you do have a choice here. If you think you and he can still enjoy the trip on a different level than originally planned, then go. If going will stress you and make the trip miserable, then don't go. The money will mean nothing 10 years from now if you cancel, but your sanity matters more. Go with him, go alone, or don't go...you have a choice, don't let money guide you.
And, I agree, you don't have to decide today. But maybe remembering that you have options here will help you relax a little with all this.
Hugs
And, I agree, you don't have to decide today. But maybe remembering that you have options here will help you relax a little with all this.
Hugs
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Denver
Posts: 24
Thank you Ann. I have every intention of going - my elderly mother lives there. I may possibly skip Amsterdam and just stay at my mom's. Don't know. I'm not gonna worry about it now... like Hanna said...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 951
Ok, I know it isn't June yet but one thing I will say - no way I would share a room with this guy or let him come to my Mom's house. That sounds like the opposite of fun to me.
I know you've already paid for the place in Amsterdam, but maybe another friend would like to go along and share a place. Also, have you seen this website: http://www.airbnb.com
I know you've already paid for the place in Amsterdam, but maybe another friend would like to go along and share a place. Also, have you seen this website: http://www.airbnb.com
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Denver
Posts: 24
Originally Posted by Hanna
Ok, I know it isn't June yet but one thing I will say - no way I would share a room with this guy or let him come to my Mom's house. That sounds like the opposite of fun to me.
I know you've already paid for the place in Amsterdam, but maybe another friend would like to go along and share a place. Also, have you seen this website: http://www.airbnb.com
I know you've already paid for the place in Amsterdam, but maybe another friend would like to go along and share a place. Also, have you seen this website: http://www.airbnb.com
He's not coming to my mom's. No way in hell. And no way am I sharing a room with him. Everything is booked in my name, he's on his own. I'll reimburse him what is necessary for the Amsterdam room.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Denver
Posts: 24
Originally Posted by Kindeyes
We don't have problems......sometimes......we just have solutions we don't like.
You don't have to see him.
gentle hugs
ke
You don't have to see him.
gentle hugs
ke
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
So concert tonight, London in June.
Unless the show's in a bar, what's the likelihood you're going to bump into him?
One of the biggest takeaways I've learned from my experiences is you cannot allow a sick person to dictate how you're going to live your life. So if you believe you can handle it tonight, go to the show. And if you can't, there's no shame in admitting that at this moment, you're not ready. Sometimes we have to protect ourselves.
As far as June goes, I would encourage you to just worry about getting through today in one piece. Make sense?
Best,
ZoSo
Unless the show's in a bar, what's the likelihood you're going to bump into him?
One of the biggest takeaways I've learned from my experiences is you cannot allow a sick person to dictate how you're going to live your life. So if you believe you can handle it tonight, go to the show. And if you can't, there's no shame in admitting that at this moment, you're not ready. Sometimes we have to protect ourselves.
As far as June goes, I would encourage you to just worry about getting through today in one piece. Make sense?
Best,
ZoSo
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Denver
Posts: 24
Originally Posted by zoso77
So concert tonight, London in June.
Unless the show's in a bar, what's the likelihood you're going to bump into him?
One of the biggest takeaways I've learned from my experiences is you cannot allow a sick person to dictate how you're going to live your life. So if you believe you can handle it tonight, go to the show. And if you can't, there's no shame in admitting that at this moment, you're not ready. Sometimes we have to protect ourselves.
As far as June goes, I would encourage you to just worry about getting through today in one piece. Make sense?
Best,
ZoSo
Unless the show's in a bar, what's the likelihood you're going to bump into him?
One of the biggest takeaways I've learned from my experiences is you cannot allow a sick person to dictate how you're going to live your life. So if you believe you can handle it tonight, go to the show. And if you can't, there's no shame in admitting that at this moment, you're not ready. Sometimes we have to protect ourselves.
As far as June goes, I would encourage you to just worry about getting through today in one piece. Make sense?
Best,
ZoSo
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