DavidG

I don't have any ACA meetings handy. And so I cannot get to many, or any live meetings. This not not my principal online ACA meet. But of course I do not poach- jus' comin' along. :>)

I get to practise 'minding my own business'. There was a time- [thankfully more or less a memory] where I could p*** people off big-time. I did NOT set out to do it. It was a simple expression of who I was- at the time.

I set out to respect the people who are already here. To notice and observe the group culture. And to look for ways of contributing to that.

I have had quite a few years of recovery time. I was looking for ~maturity~ and a deep sense of satisfaction. Generated, I suppose by layers and layers of serenity over layers and layers of pain, anger, and fear.

And I felt what dysfunctional families lacked was time out to kick back and talk about stuff. I have tried this recently in my home Alanon group. It triggered some folk in the group- and it bought about some change.

I don't intend to do this here- merely [hopefully] just talk about it.

The messages that emerge from my past family are: 'what do you want to talk about that [or anything] for?'

And: 'you are entitled to your opinion so long as you keep it to yourself'.

I think I take the Traditions into this arena. The nuts and bolts of group purpose and structure. And of course I also take my feeble self!

So I try by taking baby steps...

So mostly and often here I respond to what I think are ACA/ACOA topics. I also read carefully to see is someone is asking 'me' and the forum a question, or whether they are asking aloud a question of themselves.

if it is the second one I try to acknowledge, somehow... in a live f2f group nothing is completely neutral- a raised eyelid, or a nod of recognition.

Nothing wrong with it, in my view- we are not robots.

I think i have learned lots and lots from within this forum. I now know what is humming out there with ACA issues.

Will this turn into a real live f2f group here in my community?

Well, maybe- God willing... :>)

thanks so much for the share

David.

Kialua

Good insight, thanks David. I guess I share because I have learned so much here. It's a great resource, not just books but live people and their experiences validate my own. It's nice to have a group that understands, and gets it.