minimum7676

Hi I am new here and just wanted to reach out for fellow addict lovers.
I am in a hopefully longterm relationship with a recovering addict.
I wasnt with him while he was active but he is workin the 12 step program at this time so his addition is still affecting our life.
I love this man very much and pray for a future with him, but id just liketo be able to understand his way of thinking and his daily battles with his disease.
I dnt know anyone else In the same boat as me and who understands so would be nice to talk to people in the same place as me

Kindeyes

Welcome to SR......I hope you find the answers and support you are looking for here.

Many recovering addicts will choose to be involved with a 12 step program for the rest of their lives. How do you feel about that if he decides that the program is important to his continued sobriety? Can you embrace the friendships he has developed through the program?

I have a dear friend who has been married to a recovered cocaine addict for 20+ years. She is a regular at Al-Anon and Nar-Anon meetings (and has been for the entire 20+ years of marriage and her husband is still very active in NA). She has found it very helpful to be able to speak the same language and have support of others who have addicted loved ones.

I would highly recommend reading all of the information you can regarding addiction and codependence. It will help you understand the disease of addiction as well as understand the complications that arise for family members who love them in an unhealthy way (codependent). Even if you have no codependent tendencies, it is nice to be able to understand them so that you can ensure that you don't fall into the behavior patterns associated with it.

Again, welcome to SR. I hope that you and your bf are able to enjoy a long and healthy relationship.

gentle hugs
ke

Freedom1990

Welcome, minimum!

The thing is, at least in my own personal experience, once an addict, always an addict. The 12-steps are a way of life for me, and I have 22+ years clean/sober. I have a daily reprieve from my addictions based on the maintenance of spiritual principles.

I also have been on the other side of the fence. I was married to an addict (now deceased) and I have a 35-year-old daughter in active addiction.

I do hope you continue to post and educate yourself on addiction. You have landed among a terrific bunch of folks who care very much.

Sending you hugs of support on the Kansas breezes!

allforcnm

Welcome Minimum. I think its a great idea to do some reading on addiction, and talk to others who are involved with those in recovery. It will give you some good insights. But please keep in mind we all have similiar but different situations. Im a fellow "addict lover" too. My husband. He became addicted to prescription pain meds and used for just over a year before he stopped.
He is a year clean this month.

I cant speak to the 12 steps because my husband used private therapy, but he still goes to see his doctor a couple times a month, and plans to keep that resource open for support, and an outlet for his emotions.

I recently started a thread that has a whole bunch of website links. If you havent looked at sources like the National Institute of Drug Abuse, or American Society of Addiction Medicine... these are great places to find tons of info. Also on the thread, are some links to a video called Pleasure Unwoven. It does a good job of explaining how drugs affect the brain. It is very close to the way my husbands doctor explained it all to me. Having this information helped me to understand why some form of self awareness is necessary for those in recovery.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ase-nida.html?

Also, I often read from the Substance Abuse forum here on SR. It gives a lot of insight on what people face while trying to stop using, maintain sobriety. And there is also hope there... because they do succeed.

least

Just want to welcome you to SR! I hope we can help you find the answers you're looking for.