Mallard666

Hi new here, tried years to control my drinking, knowing I couldn't
So I hate it but know I can't drink again,
Been drinking since 15 now am 34 and don't know life without it,
I just feel myself and life will be dull without it.
Would love to here from people who have quit and still have a buzz
Of excitement in there lives.
I have to do this, but want to be happy doing it. Am now 8 days sober
And it's tough as hell.

visch1

WELLCOME and continue the good work, it does get easier with that four letter word TIME. We can only fix a problem when admit to ourselves that their is one. A concept many of us fail to grasp is that the FIRST drink will get us drunk or I'll come back if I drink, many times NO, for various reasons. I'm an AA thumper and for millions it works for many reasons. Forums might be OK for some but it lacks many of the eye ball to eye ball benefits. Like a warm hug when we need it. A warm hug to ya. BE WELL

LDT

Welcome, Mallard. I can honestly say that there is nothing sobriety has not improved in my life. Literally, everything is better. That's huge for me. The "buzz" I get on living a joyful life beats the buzz I got on booze any day of the week. It didn't happen over night, but it did happen. As I've read here on SR so many times ( and it's so true), you must want to be sober MORE than you want to drink. And I wanted it!

Congratulations on 8 days. That really is fantastic!

Mallard666

Been intoutch with aa someone getting back to me tommorow,
Am gona give it a try, but can't be there to often, as I have a busy life,
So am also trying this blog as to.

Mallard666

Thanks I do want this, alcohol has caused me a lot of problems and loss.
But have had a lot of good times to, it's just strange at the moment I have drank so long.
Everything seems to revolve around it. Just want to hear I can still socialise the way I always have done, and be just as liked as I was drinking

fruitymarzipan

Hi there, I gave up drink in my 20's and it was a challenge, I live in a place that is a very sociable, outdoor living, pavement cafe style place in the South of England and I was worried about all sorts of things like would I enjoy nights out, meals out, friends relationships but most importantly my relationship with my husband. With the exception of these past 3 years, where I have developed a problem with painkillers which im now 11 days sober from, the years I wasnt drinking or using were wonderful & enriching. My relationships with everyone improved, I was healthy happy & productive. I reached a place in my early 30's where I learned to moderate but thats not for everyone and i was dry for many years prior to this. And I dont drink again now. In these recent years that I have been unfortunately addicted to painkillers, I havnt drunk at all, now clearly this is because I have switched to another addiction, but from a social drinking perspective, when I was out and about, not drinking didnt make my friends like me less, in fact quite the opposite, they relied on the fact that I was sober enough to check & pay bar tabs correctly, look after our purses, drive etc!! LOL Seriously; funny story: 3 weeks ago there were 10 of us out for a meal & drinks, all couples. Everyone was drinking, it was Saturday night, we are all parents and It was let your hair down time. When the bill came, the restaurant had overcharged on quantity of glasses of wine, side orders, quantity of larger, in total I sat on my iphone calculater and the bill was out by over £30. This is getting common in restaurants, coz normally at midnight on a Saturday people are too p**ed to notice, I mean in a group of 10, who sits & counts the glasses of wine or pints of larger, lemonade, bottles of water being ordered!? So everyone was very grateful that Miss Fruity doesnt drink lol!!! Oh & was designated driver etc. I promise you, not drinking will not ruin your social life xx

LDT

You won't be just as you were, Mallard. You will be different....better....but it takes work. The way I socialize now is much preferable over the way I use to. In the beginning I thought " well, I'll just quit drinking, but I want everyone around me to feel comfortable drinking. Nothing has to change. Everything can remain exactly the way it was.....and I'll just quietly stop drinking. No big deal". But as it turned out Things were not that simple. All my friends drank a lot and I had to work through that. But it was really worth it. I had " good times", drinking, too. I think all of us here on SR did ( past tense). But there comes a point of diminishing returns. I'm grateful I found my point before I died.

Mallard666

Really thanks for that and glad to here ya taking the pills by the horns to, best of luck with that, I'm glad to hear someone like yourself can still go out like that, you do enjoy your self tho yes.
And I thought myself of using pill ATM as am not sleeping, but I am gona miss on that like you said going from one thing to another.
Well hope you rid the pills like you did the drink you seem a strong lass good luck and thanks again

Mallard666

Thank LDT my friends drink but don't have a problem like me, that's when we get together tho when were out at the pub, if we can still do that and have fun without me drinking al be a very happy man as there like brothers to me.
Am glad tho that they don't go out as often as they used to.

hypochondriac

Well it is gonna be tough at 8 days but it gets better. But don't fall into the trap of thinking that you're missing out, you're not. What benefits did you actually get from drinking? I have been sober for a little over a year now and there is no part of my life that hasn't been improved by being sober. There has been ups and downs sure and I have had to change my life a lot and my habits, but that's a good thing. I think if we grant alcohol all the benefits we think it has then of course we will be miserable without it but if we see it for what it really is then we won't miss it. Have you read any recovery literature at all. There are loads of suggestions here. I like Allan Carr's approach because it really dispels some of the myths about alcohol. Glad you're here x

Mallard666

Thank you I am reading a lot, and maybe check that out.the not missing out thing is a lot for me besides the cravings of course

silentrun

The first 6 weeks of recovery was pretty rough for me. It seems to get worse before it gets better. The only advice I have for you is just keep going. I thought a lot of my problems where because I was getting older. No, turns out it was the booze. I am 9 weeks today and I can't imagine putting myself through that again. Don't torture yourself with how some distant date in the future is going to be without your drinks. It's going to be great. Don't fantasize about how great it was, because it really wasn't that great. I just can't describe what a relief my recovery is at only 9 weeks. Is all I can say is "come this way."

Mallard666

Now that sounds good, you have struggled and admited it's bad for awhile I like that, thank you. Glad you have kept going 9 weeks good stuff, any tips on cravings.

silentrun

Push the cravings out of your head as fast as you can. Just keep telling yourself "NO it's not going to happen." I think my times at quit smoking gave me a leg up on this. I know not to dwell on the good times. That fantasy is what got me to go back to smoking after 3 months. I keep thinking of that song "how's it going to be when you don't know me anymore?" I just trust it is going to be awesome. Millions of ex smokers can't be wrong..right? They have just made it further than me so they know what I can't yet understand.

silentrun

The biggest thing that is helped me is that I run. It sounds weird, but it has helped me satisfy that reward center of my brain. Actually satisfy it not just get it going the way booze did.

Mountainmanbob

Roadr440

Welcome to SR Mallard666, the first thing in stopping drinking is understanding how to keep the drink down.

Look into a recovery program of some sort,counseling. You can get your life back!! Doing it alone is hard if not down right impossible...

Oh, and that buzz of excitement in my live, after 4 years of sobriety I live a life now that I could never have even imagined I would have..

Best wishes!!

Happier

Let me start out by saying I only have 9 months under my belt so I am far from any type of "expert". However, I am grateful to say that in my experience, I have indeed found that buzz for life again. Not an imitation, chemically induced one but a natural true excitement and passion.

It has been a slow process for me though. I liken it to a long term investment backed by faith. I just had to believe that sobriety was right for me and invest the time and effort to make it happen even when life did seem boring. There were times in the early months when all the world, my friends, my brain and my emotions were telling me to go back to drinking. I had to work my way through that and have faith that things would be better on the other side of those dark and deceptive times.

You can do this. We can and do get better. Keep reading and posting. Get your plan together and try to surround yourself with a good support system. It is totally worth it.

Mallard666

One higher power thank you and yes had a lot of that myself that is the stuff I will be glad to miss as I to have a long list s..t

Mallard666

Well day 8 almost over feel ok just hope I can sleep, night all stay strong