trikyriky

I can't do it. I can't get past the weekend. I am willing to listen to all ideas but have been trying Avrt. I am getting scared that I will never do this. I dreamt horrible dreams last night. In one I sat idle as s child walked out into traffic. God help me

instant

I could never grt past Friday night. It had to be "special" eeven though most of me wanted to stop drinking. Once i drank i carried on. I had some sucess during the week, i was so washed out from the weekend.

In retrospect i now accept that i did not have any emotional experiences that were free of the influence of alcohol.

I am now 23 months sober. I love it. I used to dread the idea of not drinking.

visch1

Hi and hang in there, it does get better. It might work better if you didn't think about drinking, think about not drinking. I, in the first week made myself have thoughts of something like your night mares and stayed with them in my mind until the desire left even for a few minutes, then the same idea again and again. Drink lots of water and eat/drink sweet things. I and many others made AA our first choice, it works IF we work it, get active. Bottom line is we DON'T drink even though the demons in us keep pushing us to pick up. BE WELL

Ghostlight

You CAn do it. I know how hars weekends are. Can you find an activity that will keep you busy and your mind off alcohol?
If you stay sober during the week, just look at the weekend as two more days of not drinking.

I don't know how open you are to this, but there's always AA meetings. They sure worked for me on a Friday night to last me through the weekend.

Don't give up trying and best to you.

trikyriky

Thanks for response. The dream is gonna be my wakeup call. By the way my doc is crack.

visch1

As an old timer is that a newer health food that we should try?

trikyriky

No crack cocaine

Jeni26

Hi. I found Friday nights near impossible to get past at first. Something about finishing the week at work and needing to reward myself and relax...

I used to get so frustrated with myself because the week nights were comparatively easy even though I was a daily drinker towards the end. But Fridays...well I never thought I would get past that block.

But I did. I used to log on to SR before I left work, again just before I went shopping, and yet again when I got home. I went through some sort of process of craving, then frustration, then self-pity. Plenty of foot-stamping and repeating of 'it's not fair!'.

I then went to an AA meeting, and by the time I got home, Friday was over and I would go to bed. It took a few weeks, but I did break that routine.

If weekends are always your hardest times, I would do something different. Go out, invite people over, take up a sport.. Just don't take that drug, because you have to start the process all over again.

Stick close to SR, it's a lifesaver x

RobbyRobot

You sure can quit! YOU CAN do it!

There are many choices ahead for getting past the weekend, and for quitting for good. Millions of people have quit, so you can too!

Addiction ambivalence is what you're going thru when any of us initially quit - the wanting to use and not use all at the same time - like we are being pulled apart, and like abusing alcohol/drugs often gives short term satisfaction for that ambivalence, so its tempting to return to our active addictions.

Try to research and get an understanding of addiction ambivalence. Start with good knowledge, and your ability to quit will be more understandable to you too!

RDBplus3

TrikyRiky,
In my opinion, crack is one of the worst drugs to get free from, because of the intensity of the high. AVRT explains that the intensity of the high hijacks the brain's normal instinct functions, and the brain equates the high as being MORE important than other normal day-to-day life processes. That means my brain is sending signals that I MUST get the drug. That is the premise of AVRT. Recognize that the drug cravings are coming from an addiction-corrupted brain function, and that the REAL YOU, (the Rational-Minded YOU that had the presence-of-mind to write the post) is the part of you that has control over your actual actions. The addiction-corrupted Beast Brain can only SCREAM BLOODY MURDER, it cannot make you act on the cravings. That is where the REAL work comes in, and that is where the mind-setting event of the AVRT BIG PLAN is important.

Many people say that once they realize they CAN recognize the Addictive Voice of their Beast Brain, it is easy for them to dissociate from the AV, and dismiss it and NOT act on it. Let it scream, and whine, and plead, and throw tantrums, and yell FIRE all it wants. Just choose to NOT act on it. Dismiss it. I, however have found it a little more difficult to 'simply' dismiss the cravings and have them just die off. I drank for 40 years, and my corrupted brain pathways are very intricate. The principal is the same however, and it DOES work. For me, it has come down to an issue of just how committed I am to getting FREE from my addiction. I had to drive a stake in the ground called SOBRIETY, and I chained that damn Beast to it like a dog. When the cravings seem to grab hold of me and I find myself in my truck heading for the liquor store, I consciously recall that stake in the ground and I say to the damn Beast..END OF THE CHAIN. I stop immediately, like just before driving my truck off a cliff, and I do WHATEVER it takes to get my mind under MY control, recognize the addiction-corrupted operating behavior for what it is, and DISMISS it.

Wow, I just saved my life...again. Hey, AVRT calls that the Abstinence Commitment Effect...and it works.

One last thing...many people that practice AVRT have said the Big Plan goes beyond just a commitment. A commitment can be broken. The Big Plan is an irrevocable LIFE Operating Standard, a bedrock from which all of my Life is based upon, a solid foundation. I ALWAYS stand on that foundation. If I were to be attacked by a wild beast, I would get back on that solid rock foundation, stand upright....that is ALWAYS my base to operate from. I Do NOT Drink, or use any mind-altering Drug, and I will NEVER change my Mind. I will ALWAYS Stand on the Solid Rock Foundation of being Clean & Sober. It IS who I am, and it IS what I do. That is why I made my BIG PLAN.

PS..do the Crash Course on the AVRT website...re-do the Crash Course on the AVRT website...go to Sober Recovery...repeat as necessary. That is what is working for me.

MeSoSober

Triky, this might sound stupid but do you work out?

I really think strenuous exercise has marvelous powers of stress relief, of making you tired enough that most everything else fades into the background, and as a bonus you get good, restorative sleep that then makes for a better tomorrow.

I didn't sleep worth a damn the first part of last week because I was recovering from a binge. The second half of the week, I was sleeping well once I went to bed but not going to bed until late -- as in well after midnight.

Yesterday, I took a bike ride with my neighbor. We weren't out that long, but overall it was a medium-high level of exertion. And lo and behold I was ready to turn in by about 9:30. Now maybe part of the explanation for that is that the lack of sleep/late nights caught up with me. But I have to believe that the biggest reason I was so tired (and it was a GOOD tired) is because of the exercise I got.

I really think exercise can be like a tonic, physically and mentally. I hope you'll try it if you haven't been doing it already, and that you feel better. Please hang in there!

Mountainmanbob

trikyriky

One / No, I have no insurance and am a single guy. I couldn't possibly just leave my job and go away. Having no insurance I don't know if I even qualify for outpatient. I am broke because of addiction and couldn't pay

ClearLight

Why don't you try AA?
You can go to a meeting, just sit and say nothing, and no one will bother you. Just to check it out.
Seems to me if you're REALLY committed to getting sober it means you'll at least try a bunch of different things until you get there.
A lot of times the route to your goal is not the route you envisioned in the beginning.

Mizzuno

2granddaughters

AA and NA are there for those who want it.... and it's free.

If things get too bad you can go there and ask the oldtimers to help you save your life.


Try all the things that are suggested to you here (if you haven't already) and if you keep coming up short then read the last 3 lines of AA's HOW IT WORKS:

(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.
(c) That God could and would if He were sought.

Good luck.

Bob R

Impurrfect

You CAN do it. In the beginning of my recovery, everything made me think of crack. Was it easy? No way. However, years later it's the last thing on my mind and that's the way it's been for a long time.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

2granddaughters

This is the thing ...... HOW does he do it?? You tell him he can do it and don't give him a direction.

All the best.

Bob R

RobbyRobot

He doesn't require a direction be given to him to give support to him. He'll do best by deciding for himself where and how he wants to walk with himself and others as he quits his drinking.

SR obviously has many experiences shared in thousands of posts. It's impossible to not reflect on all those shares. He doesn't need to be told the obvious. No one does, for that matter.

Delilah1

I know it isn't easy, the fact that you came back on here shows you do want to stop. I have been struggling a little as well and I know that giving up is the only thing that is NOT an option.