12stepwife

I'm new too all of this. I have been told I'm a 'normie'. My fiancé is an alcoholic. When I met him he had 4 years sober and was the manager of a Sober Living home. We fell in love and he relapsed. He was in relapse for over a year and is now in a rehab and working a 12 step program. I am learning all I can to help him and help myself. He is back to the man I fell in love with but I know that other horrible guy is just one drink away. I'm told I'm a codependent and an enabler and I want to learn not to be these things. That's why I'm here. I'm here to learn.

2granddaughters

Have you been attending Al-Anon meetings?

Who told you that you were a codependent and an enabler?

All the best.

Bob R

Opivotal

Welcome 12stepwife! You might find the Friends and Family Forum helpful.


Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

12stepwife

I will be attending my first Alanon meeting Monday evening. My Alcoholic told me I was and enabler and his counselor told me I was co-dependent. I've been reading things about this and I guess I am both of those things but I don't want to be. I didn't know I was.

Hevyn

Welcome 12stepwife. I hope you find the encouragement and support you need here. This is a wonderful place with many helpful & wise people. Sorry to hear of your husband's relapse. I know how confusing and heartbreaking it is. Hoping things are on the mend for you both.

Dave42001

They have a saying in AA " you need to stay on your side of the street" meaning its my problem not my wife's if she still chooses to drink.. I don't think you're an enabler.. You didn't hold him down and make him drink.. Obviously you shouldn't leave a bottle of booze in the center of the kitchen table.. My 2 cents