OT, maybe. I should have chosen adoption
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,618
OT, maybe. I should have chosen adoption
I am so sick and tired of laundry and poop filled diapers and tantrums and crying and not even being given a moment to have peace until they are in bed.
mopping the floor is a complete waste of time.
my laundry is piled high like kilimanjaro.
add my sons therapy to that.
I feel like cinderella. "she go around in circles till she's very very dissy, still they holler keep her busy"
ugh. I hate it. I know the answer isn't in a husband. my married mom friends feel the same way.
I just want to worry about me. There is nothing left for me.
must be nice to only have to pick up after myself. must be nice to go see a movie if I wanted to.
Im sick and tired of having an 18 month old. I've had and 18month old for almost 3 years. people say oh I wish they never grew up. HA! try it.
is it 8 oclock yet? I need a bath, my knitting, and a novel.
Im only 24. They deserve SO MUCH MORE.
being a single mom sucks.
having a bad mom day.
and yet I will get it done. One day at a time? maybe one load of laundry, one dish, one nasty 4 year old diaper at a time.
mopping the floor is a complete waste of time.
my laundry is piled high like kilimanjaro.
add my sons therapy to that.
I feel like cinderella. "she go around in circles till she's very very dissy, still they holler keep her busy"
ugh. I hate it. I know the answer isn't in a husband. my married mom friends feel the same way.
I just want to worry about me. There is nothing left for me.
must be nice to only have to pick up after myself. must be nice to go see a movie if I wanted to.
Im sick and tired of having an 18 month old. I've had and 18month old for almost 3 years. people say oh I wish they never grew up. HA! try it.
is it 8 oclock yet? I need a bath, my knitting, and a novel.
Im only 24. They deserve SO MUCH MORE.
being a single mom sucks.
having a bad mom day.
and yet I will get it done. One day at a time? maybe one load of laundry, one dish, one nasty 4 year old diaper at a time.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I agree, you're a good mom who is exhausted trying to keep up.
I don't know how warm it is where you are, but could you pack them up for a picnic tomorrow or a day at the zoo? Maybe just having a fun day outside of the house would do you all the world of good.
Or maybe call a friend and ask if she can take care of them for a couple of hours while you go get your hair done and a manicure? Or take quiet time at a library?
I know for me, when I get overwhelmed with the repetition of hard work, I need to shake up the routine a little and find some quiet time.
This too shall pass, dear, one day they will grow up and remember all you did. I know that because my 2 brothers and I were raised by a single mom too, my dad died when I was 6. I will always be grateful for all she sacrificed and did for us. I know it was hard.
Hugs
I don't know how warm it is where you are, but could you pack them up for a picnic tomorrow or a day at the zoo? Maybe just having a fun day outside of the house would do you all the world of good.
Or maybe call a friend and ask if she can take care of them for a couple of hours while you go get your hair done and a manicure? Or take quiet time at a library?
I know for me, when I get overwhelmed with the repetition of hard work, I need to shake up the routine a little and find some quiet time.
This too shall pass, dear, one day they will grow up and remember all you did. I know that because my 2 brothers and I were raised by a single mom too, my dad died when I was 6. I will always be grateful for all she sacrificed and did for us. I know it was hard.
Hugs
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,618
thanks for the encouragement you guys. I called my sponsor and she said "screw the laundry!!!" I was like what?!?!?!?
so now me and the kids are gonna nestle down and watch good luck charlie.
I think I feel a codie relapse building. so much for recovery eh? I even considered having a glass of wine tonight.
no way. tonight, I will have a cup of tea, and watch harry potter and take a bubble bath.
the dishes can wait.
mommy needs to sit in time out.
so now me and the kids are gonna nestle down and watch good luck charlie.
I think I feel a codie relapse building. so much for recovery eh? I even considered having a glass of wine tonight.
no way. tonight, I will have a cup of tea, and watch harry potter and take a bubble bath.
the dishes can wait.
mommy needs to sit in time out.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 430
Good for you, Lily. I'm of the mind that if I can't do something with joy or at least peace, that it's better for me to do that thing later otherwise my resentment will just build and I'll be that much further away from peace and joy and serenity than I already was. So why make it worse!? As soon as I notice I'm away from those things, I'm better off making a U turn back toward them with something like Harry Potter and a bath. Nice!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,618
thank you everyone! Im on the backporch had a great bubble bath, visited my best friend.
no wine here! just a lot of whine!!! lol. sorry, bad joke.
but heresy the kicker. my phone rang and it was my bf and I let it roll over to voicemail. it was just a goodnight call. He knows where to find me tomorrow.
I made it!!!!! yay!!!!
no wine here! just a lot of whine!!! lol. sorry, bad joke.
but heresy the kicker. my phone rang and it was my bf and I let it roll over to voicemail. it was just a goodnight call. He knows where to find me tomorrow.
I made it!!!!! yay!!!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 741
"Trying to get the house clean while there are children still in it is like trying to shovel the walk before it stops snowing"
Erma Bombeck
You probably aren't old enough to know who Erma Bombeck was, but in the 70s and 80s she wrote some of the most honest, self-deprecating and tension relieving stuff on motherhood EVER. If you are having a bad mom day you must read some of her books. She talks about going so long between diaper changes that there is a rainbow over the baby's bottom and needing vaccinations just to enter her childrens' rooms.
And watch Roseanne.
Erma Bombeck
You probably aren't old enough to know who Erma Bombeck was, but in the 70s and 80s she wrote some of the most honest, self-deprecating and tension relieving stuff on motherhood EVER. If you are having a bad mom day you must read some of her books. She talks about going so long between diaper changes that there is a rainbow over the baby's bottom and needing vaccinations just to enter her childrens' rooms.
And watch Roseanne.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 157
Lily,
I have raised 5 kids.. 6-23. My 2 youngest are with my AH whom I never would thought would do this to us. I mean he helped me raise my 3 oldest from another marriage. Now I am back in the same boat with the 2 youngest. He basically abandoned us for his dope.
So my point is... I totally know where you are coming from!!
But hang in there!! Things will get better! You will always have a bad day here and there. Even when they are 23!
I know I need to learn this to. But try to find something for you, even if it is little. Try to find an outlet. Do you journal? I started an art journal. even if I work on it once a month I find that it gives me some satisfaction that I have accomplished that's just for me. Go to the gym, d(some gyms have daycare) take the baby for a walk. when my kids were little I would walk miles. The only thing we both enjoyed!
Get up 30 minutes early, so you can read. I know this is hard. I am not a morning person. But i have discovered that I covet my time before the days race begins...
Hang in there... And I agree... Sometimes you have to say SCREW THE LAUNDRY!!
I have raised 5 kids.. 6-23. My 2 youngest are with my AH whom I never would thought would do this to us. I mean he helped me raise my 3 oldest from another marriage. Now I am back in the same boat with the 2 youngest. He basically abandoned us for his dope.
So my point is... I totally know where you are coming from!!
But hang in there!! Things will get better! You will always have a bad day here and there. Even when they are 23!
I know I need to learn this to. But try to find something for you, even if it is little. Try to find an outlet. Do you journal? I started an art journal. even if I work on it once a month I find that it gives me some satisfaction that I have accomplished that's just for me. Go to the gym, d(some gyms have daycare) take the baby for a walk. when my kids were little I would walk miles. The only thing we both enjoyed!
Get up 30 minutes early, so you can read. I know this is hard. I am not a morning person. But i have discovered that I covet my time before the days race begins...
Hang in there... And I agree... Sometimes you have to say SCREW THE LAUNDRY!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,618
My HP is so good to me. He heard my cry yesterday! I got in the car this morning and this was on the raido
" Do Everything" ~ Steven Curtis Chapman
You're picking up toys on the living room floor for the 15th time today Matching up socks and sweeping up lost Cheerios that got away You put a baby on your hip and color on your lips and head out the door And while I may not know you I bet I know you Wonder sometimes does it matter at all We'll let me remind you it all matters just as long as you
Do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you Cause He made you to do Every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face And tell the story of grace With every move that you make And every little thing you do
OOoh ooooh oooooh
Maybe you're that guy with the suit and tie Maybe your shirt says your name You may be hooking up mergers, cooking up burgers But at the end of the day
Little stuff big stuff in between stuff God sees it all the same And while I may not know you I bet I know you Wonder sometimes does it matter at all We'll let me remind you it all matters just as long as you do
Everything you do to the glory of the One who made you Cause He made you To do every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face And tell the story of grace with every move that you make And every little thing that you do
Well maybe you're sitting in math class Maybe on a mission in the Congo Maybe you're working at the office Singing along with the radio Maybe you're dining at a five star Or feeding orphans in Myanmar Anywhere and everywhere you are Whatever you do it all matters So do what you do and don't ever forget to do
Everything you do to the glory of the One who made you Cause He made you to do Every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face And tell the story of grace as you do Everything you do to the glory of the One who made you Cause He made you to do Every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face And tell the story of grace with every move that you make And every little thing that you do
Ooh oooooh Every little thing you do
" Do Everything" ~ Steven Curtis Chapman
You're picking up toys on the living room floor for the 15th time today Matching up socks and sweeping up lost Cheerios that got away You put a baby on your hip and color on your lips and head out the door And while I may not know you I bet I know you Wonder sometimes does it matter at all We'll let me remind you it all matters just as long as you
Do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you Cause He made you to do Every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face And tell the story of grace With every move that you make And every little thing you do
OOoh ooooh oooooh
Maybe you're that guy with the suit and tie Maybe your shirt says your name You may be hooking up mergers, cooking up burgers But at the end of the day
Little stuff big stuff in between stuff God sees it all the same And while I may not know you I bet I know you Wonder sometimes does it matter at all We'll let me remind you it all matters just as long as you do
Everything you do to the glory of the One who made you Cause He made you To do every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face And tell the story of grace with every move that you make And every little thing that you do
Well maybe you're sitting in math class Maybe on a mission in the Congo Maybe you're working at the office Singing along with the radio Maybe you're dining at a five star Or feeding orphans in Myanmar Anywhere and everywhere you are Whatever you do it all matters So do what you do and don't ever forget to do
Everything you do to the glory of the One who made you Cause He made you to do Every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face And tell the story of grace as you do Everything you do to the glory of the One who made you Cause He made you to do Every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face And tell the story of grace with every move that you make And every little thing that you do
Ooh oooooh Every little thing you do
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
God knew what you needed to hear Lily. We all have bad days but I agree with others. You seem to be an amazing mother! You love those kids. It's obvious in your posts. Glad that today is better and you're taking care of you.
gentle hugs
ke
gentle hugs
ke
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Redding, CA
Posts: 216
I promise the kids will not remember if laundry got done or even if they just have p b & j for dinner but they will remember a fort in the front room made out of blankets & eating dinner in there now that's something to remember. enjoy.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,423
Being a solo Mum is hard work & sometimes we have days when we'd love some freedom but remember all those precious moments that we experience, first words, walk, wave etc & then as they get older, great school reports, winning a running race, being part of a group concert etc etc.
They are worth it in the end.
Hang in there, you're amazing.
They are worth it in the end.
Hang in there, you're amazing.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
I was blessed with ONE child, one really easy/starter type of kid and it was the hardest thing I ever did! parenting ain't for wussies! I made tons of mistake , I lost my temper, I even for a short while let drugs and an evilly cute bf distract me....but today my "baby girl" is 30 and tomorrow she and her sweetheart head off to mexico for a week vacation. I get cat duty...and her rather lengthy list of plant maintenance cuz she's not only become a total homemaker/worker/girlfriend person, but has just recently caught the gardening buzz. I could regale you with what I consider her "achievements" - graduating with a double major and a minor from a tough school, LMU, to choosing to stay, live, work and thrive in LA after college working for the non-profit Artists for a New South Africe (ANSA), to her helping to arrange the 5th BD gala for Archbiship Desmond Tutu's 75th birthday bash at the Beverly Wilshire, to traveling to South Africa with a delegation including Carlos Santana, Samuel L Jackson, Jurnee Smollet, Alfre Woodward and meeting Mr Nelson Mandela....or I could tell you what an awesome kid she is. cuz she is. if she had done NONE of that I would love her no less....she is magnificent cuz that's MY kid!
this is the trailer to the movie made of the So African delegation...deeply moving stuff....
Road To Ingwavuma
this is the trailer to the movie made of the So African delegation...deeply moving stuff....
Road To Ingwavuma
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Eastern Time Zone
Posts: 1,011
Lily1918: I too was a divorced with 3 boys born over 3-1/2 years. I was raising them alone with 2 in diapers and one just barely out of them.
It can be done. I remembering saying a prayer of thanks when I had laundry to do. "God, thank you for this load of laundry." I do not know why, but it helped. Maybe I was saying, "God, thank you that I'm just doing a load of laundry and not taking phone calls from people looking for my husband in order to buy drugs."
anyway, hang in there. If you have family, there are probably some that would help in times of trouble like you are going through.
My sons are now adults. Even though my youngest is the qualifier that brings me here, there are two other sons who are assets to society. And as far as the AS, my hope is that he will one day be also. So even though you feel like you are not equipped to bring these children to adulthood (or even to school-age!), you really are!
It can be done. I remembering saying a prayer of thanks when I had laundry to do. "God, thank you for this load of laundry." I do not know why, but it helped. Maybe I was saying, "God, thank you that I'm just doing a load of laundry and not taking phone calls from people looking for my husband in order to buy drugs."
anyway, hang in there. If you have family, there are probably some that would help in times of trouble like you are going through.
My sons are now adults. Even though my youngest is the qualifier that brings me here, there are two other sons who are assets to society. And as far as the AS, my hope is that he will one day be also. So even though you feel like you are not equipped to bring these children to adulthood (or even to school-age!), you really are!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: today
Posts: 36
I really feel your pain with the kids. I have 4 ( 2-13)kids, I am a teacher, and I am a student, AND AN AAH. I dont go to sleep until 2-3 am just to get up at 5:15 to start all over. My name should be tired. We are women so hear us ROAR!!!!!!! I HOPE YOUR TOMORROW GETS BETTER.
If your kids are big enough make cleaning up a game. I turned cleaning up trash out of the yard into a mock easter egg hunt. (i have a serious raccoon problem). lol my four year learned her colors by sorting dirty laundry. Be creative.
If your kids are big enough make cleaning up a game. I turned cleaning up trash out of the yard into a mock easter egg hunt. (i have a serious raccoon problem). lol my four year learned her colors by sorting dirty laundry. Be creative.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 741
Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
For children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
For children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 398
I love that song, Lily!
I agree with everyone else....the laundry and dishes can wait! Spending time with your kids matters most.....even if it it just snuggling with them while watching t.v.
You sound like you're doing an awesome job raising your kiddos! Is there any possible way you could get a sitter for an evening? Maybe a close friend or family member?
Keep up the good work! I've heard that trying to clean a house when the kids are home is like trying to brush your teeth with a mouth full of Oreos.
Hang in there!!!
I agree with everyone else....the laundry and dishes can wait! Spending time with your kids matters most.....even if it it just snuggling with them while watching t.v.
You sound like you're doing an awesome job raising your kiddos! Is there any possible way you could get a sitter for an evening? Maybe a close friend or family member?
Keep up the good work! I've heard that trying to clean a house when the kids are home is like trying to brush your teeth with a mouth full of Oreos.
Hang in there!!!
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