Pearls

So I stayed sober ever since I first came here! Almost a month now, and I feel absolutely fantastic health wise, and people already told me that I look less exhausted and younger, and my body is really grateful too My friends are really supportive, my best friend even made her birthday party alcohol free for me (and for another friend who is also a recovering alcoholic) and we all had an amazing time.

AND YET I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT ALCOHOL.

I keep dreaming about drinking, really long vivid dreams - even in the dreams I feel guilty about drinking but I still do it. I wake up every day remembering how "oh i'm sober now". I'm having mini-panic attacks about how I never can drink again and an evil voice inside my head is telling me that hey, just a glass of wine will be ok, you can do it, you can moderate which i know is A LIE but.

So I guess - my question is, does it get better? Will I stop being obsessed with alcohol at one point and just live my life without giving it too much thought? I know this is one of the best things I've ever done for myself and yet it's like my subconscious disagrees. GRMPF.

DarkDays

Hi,well I am 15 months sober and I still think about it at certain times places, but it gets a lot easier to deal with , just thoughts or in the worse case romantic type visions of drinking. Once you fast forward the tape past the first drink to the bs obsession and hangovers its so much easier to deal with. Sober adjustment can be strange and life does feel very raw , but its cool and liberating . Good luck, grind it out good things await.

Heartfan82

Yes, it does get better, and you will be able to go about your business without thinking about alcohol so much!

I think the timing for everyone varies, but it will happen. I've had dreams, too, about having some drinks, then feeling so guilty and mad at myself for doing it. When I wake up, it takes a little while to shake that feeling, but I'm so relieved that it was just a dream!

Good for you that you're here and fighting this. It's quite an adventure, but sooo worth it!
Peace,
~Heartfan

Dee74

Absolutely you will

but, if you're like me, you drank for years, and obsessed about it too - a month sober is great but it will probably take a little longer before you become aware you're not thinking about drinking anymore

D

Michael66

Hi Pearls

I found that it took 3-4 months to really start enjoying the sober life. At that point the desire for, and thoughts about, alcohol really reduced. What scares me now is not the thought of a life without alcohol (I love that idea now), but the thought of what my life would be like again with alcohol.

I think many of us take time to adjust to the idea of lifelong sobriety, but it's superb when that adjustment happens. Be patient though, we go through an awful lot of changes when we quit drinking and the adjustment takes time.