Great day turns into night confusion
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Illinois
Posts: 134
Great day turns into night confusion
Today was a great day and I mean GREAT day. I woke up with energy feeling as if I could take on the world no matter what came my way. Reassurance. Peace. and yet another feeling of newness, knowing I am right where I need to be; where God wants me to be.
God really spoke to my heart saying that I needed to not worry about finances and I needed to start tithing again. Without hesitation this is what I did. I went to the bank and took out 10% of my pay and I brought it to my church. If not, I know I would not tithe. As I went upstairs to drop off the tithe, I started talking to someone who works there. I sat in her office for over an hour talking about everything under the moon and even heard a portion of her testimony. I find out she is a recovered alcoholic and free as all could be. After talking about our similar pasts, we ended up talking about something that is a part of me/ my hobby: shooting weapons. It is nice to have someone within my church that knows how it feels to make a choice to become sober, walk through it and succeed. As well, has passions that I am very passionate about. Today was a start of a new friendship. I am very thankful. We have even set up a date and time to go hang out and just shoot!!!! All for that!!!!
As soon as I finished up at my church, went to work, and than came back home I had this sinking feeling within side of me... I know that feeling ... guilt and shame. Why? Really! ... ahh ... Than it hit me. I walked into my building and it reeked of alcohol. Cravings were higher this evening than they have been within the past couple weeks. I am going strong and trying not to give in; I can not give in... I refuse. I just wish these feelings would just fade and be done with. Great day turns into yet another struggle. Someone once told me, "Bring the past only if you are going to build from it." Still going to walk in faith and focus one day at a time. Good end note: This will be the third weekend of being sober!
God really spoke to my heart saying that I needed to not worry about finances and I needed to start tithing again. Without hesitation this is what I did. I went to the bank and took out 10% of my pay and I brought it to my church. If not, I know I would not tithe. As I went upstairs to drop off the tithe, I started talking to someone who works there. I sat in her office for over an hour talking about everything under the moon and even heard a portion of her testimony. I find out she is a recovered alcoholic and free as all could be. After talking about our similar pasts, we ended up talking about something that is a part of me/ my hobby: shooting weapons. It is nice to have someone within my church that knows how it feels to make a choice to become sober, walk through it and succeed. As well, has passions that I am very passionate about. Today was a start of a new friendship. I am very thankful. We have even set up a date and time to go hang out and just shoot!!!! All for that!!!!
As soon as I finished up at my church, went to work, and than came back home I had this sinking feeling within side of me... I know that feeling ... guilt and shame. Why? Really! ... ahh ... Than it hit me. I walked into my building and it reeked of alcohol. Cravings were higher this evening than they have been within the past couple weeks. I am going strong and trying not to give in; I can not give in... I refuse. I just wish these feelings would just fade and be done with. Great day turns into yet another struggle. Someone once told me, "Bring the past only if you are going to build from it." Still going to walk in faith and focus one day at a time. Good end note: This will be the third weekend of being sober!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: SoCal, California
Posts: 990
Hang in there.
It gets easier. And I can say this after going just 5 weeks. Plus, it's really worth it.
For me it works to just get through the day. I worry about tomorrow tomorrow. Sometimes I even tell myself, "Sure you can have a few drinks -- tomorrow." And I really believe it. But when tomorrow becomes today -- I just cruise through that day too.
It gets easier. And I can say this after going just 5 weeks. Plus, it's really worth it.
For me it works to just get through the day. I worry about tomorrow tomorrow. Sometimes I even tell myself, "Sure you can have a few drinks -- tomorrow." And I really believe it. But when tomorrow becomes today -- I just cruise through that day too.
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