Husband's Godson Using Again?
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Upstate NY, in the Adirondacks
Posts: 232
Husband's Godson Using Again?
Hi All,
My husband is definitely a codependent. He enabled me through years of drinking (I am sober 2 years and 8 months) and 6 weeks ago, found out his cousin/godson was using Oxy. He talked to him every day, and convinced him to see a doctor who helped my brother get off prescribed Ativan (why doctors prescribe these drugs for years amazes me!) The doctor started him on Suboxone, which he never took. He just stopped the Oxy. I am not a fan of AA, I didn't use it for myself, but he didn't join any group, or get any support or go to NA. He is not in therapy, either. He is getting married in 2 weeks.
My husband talks to him every day, and thinks he is clean. We live 5 hours away, so we don't see him. i spoke to him the other day, and he sounded like he was slurring his words. My husband said it was because he was driving, and his phone was on his lap.
Oh, my husband. He thinks this guy, who is 35 and has been using pills since his late teens, just quit. No help, no meetings, no therapy. I don't believe it. I know my husband is going to feel terribly if he finds out his godson has relapsed. I am trying to get him to look at his own codependency issues, he agreed to go to therapy finally, and his therapist tells him the same thing.
I don't really know what I am asking, I just don't think this will all end well. Thanks for listening,
Nancy
My husband is definitely a codependent. He enabled me through years of drinking (I am sober 2 years and 8 months) and 6 weeks ago, found out his cousin/godson was using Oxy. He talked to him every day, and convinced him to see a doctor who helped my brother get off prescribed Ativan (why doctors prescribe these drugs for years amazes me!) The doctor started him on Suboxone, which he never took. He just stopped the Oxy. I am not a fan of AA, I didn't use it for myself, but he didn't join any group, or get any support or go to NA. He is not in therapy, either. He is getting married in 2 weeks.
My husband talks to him every day, and thinks he is clean. We live 5 hours away, so we don't see him. i spoke to him the other day, and he sounded like he was slurring his words. My husband said it was because he was driving, and his phone was on his lap.
Oh, my husband. He thinks this guy, who is 35 and has been using pills since his late teens, just quit. No help, no meetings, no therapy. I don't believe it. I know my husband is going to feel terribly if he finds out his godson has relapsed. I am trying to get him to look at his own codependency issues, he agreed to go to therapy finally, and his therapist tells him the same thing.
I don't really know what I am asking, I just don't think this will all end well. Thanks for listening,
Nancy
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Nancylee, if you live 5 hours away, a phone conversation trying to help might not be codependency, it might just be that he is trying to help with what he knows from the past of others.
Or it may be codependency, if he is obsessed with saving this young man and jeopardizes his own peace to do it.
Counseling is good, maybe both of you could read "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie, an excellent book on the subject.
However this unfolds, I hope you and your husband find peace.
Hugs
Or it may be codependency, if he is obsessed with saving this young man and jeopardizes his own peace to do it.
Counseling is good, maybe both of you could read "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie, an excellent book on the subject.
However this unfolds, I hope you and your husband find peace.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by nancylee 
No help, no meetings, no therapy. I don't believe it.
wow
even no church attendance
no God mentioned
I believe you to be right
the odds are that most all can not do it on their own
at least in most cases any type of sobriety will not hold for very long
onehigherpower
even no church attendance
no God mentioned
I believe you to be right
the odds are that most all can not do it on their own
at least in most cases any type of sobriety will not hold for very long
onehigherpower
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Nancy
It's hard to say what's going on with your husband's godson. Time will certainly reveal more. Sometimes all we can do wait, see how things develop, and decide a course of action at that time.
It's hard to know what's going on with the young man without seeing him.
I hope that he has been able to kick his addiction without any help....it's unlikely....but I suppose anything is possible.
gentle hugs
ke
It's hard to say what's going on with your husband's godson. Time will certainly reveal more. Sometimes all we can do wait, see how things develop, and decide a course of action at that time.
It's hard to know what's going on with the young man without seeing him.
I hope that he has been able to kick his addiction without any help....it's unlikely....but I suppose anything is possible.
gentle hugs
ke
thank you,
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