hopebutterfly

I know it's just one day, but I didn't drink last night. I feel really good physically compared to how I usually do in the mornings. I took benedryl to help me sleep and it did. Just feeling better is a motivator. OK, so now for a second day.

Buying alcohol is not an option, if I'm offered alcohol....what should I do? Mmmm, I can say the word no, but I know there will be this little voice that says, hey what's one beer with dinner, but for me right now, I think it would open the door I am trying to close. So if it is available, I'll think of my liver, and how it probably cannot take anymore. If I want to live more that a few more years, I cannot drink...I cannot drink. Last night, I thought about how present I was, and how the auto pilot thing is really my ability for denial, and I think I just dissociate, as if, well, what does it matter if I drink, i can quit the next day, then I repeat the same thing...
How to stay present in the frame of mind I m in right now? I have to stay aware in the front of my mind that, drinking is not an option. And I guess i need to realize that it is an option, I can choose to go back to it. I really don't want to

Dee74

Support really helped me say no and meant it - SR is good for that, and there'a many other real life supports available too - things like AA and SMART and LifeRing...


Here's some links to some of the main players:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

Check out our Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.

hopebutterfly

Thanks!

trachemys

Make sure you drive everywhere you go and say, "No, I'm driving."

raja12

One day at a time. Sometimes, one moment at a time for me. I can always choose to drink, but I'm choosing not to 2day. It is the same old cycle once I pick up again. And I really find it easier to just avoid it altogether. Although its difficult most times as I'm still in early recovery myself. Seems like you have the right thoughts and intention though. Explore all options and resourses out there. You can do this.

driftedsoul

I'm on day three. I was a heavy drinker for a long time and it destroyed my life. So I made a commitment to myself that I will never drink again. I have been going through withdrawal, which sucks, but I feel so much more clear headed. I haven't put myself in a situation the last few days where it is available. But I know inevitably I will be around it to see friends, and at that point its offered instead of saying "no" I have decided that I will say "I can't". I think that way I won't feel like I'm are upsetting anyone by saying no, and at the same time reaffirming my commitment to myself to be sober.

Heartfan82

Hi H-butterfly!

Glad you made it through the day, yay! Just tell yourself you're trying an experiment to see how it feels to go without drinking for a while, just to give your body a break or something.

I kinda talked myself into trying that for a year, and I really liked how it felt. Well, the pros outweighed the cons. But that other voice is so strong, that I started drinking again when that year was up. I was quickly back on the roller coaster ride that alcohol brings.

I wish I would have found this forum last year, when I quit for another 6 months. I probably wouldn't have gave in to that voice again. Now I have something to fight back with. That is a good feeling....

Do you have a good doctor who you trust, or feel comfortable with? It's a powerful thing to finally say it out loud, to confide in the doctor that you're concerned you might have a problem. My doctor was so understanding, he even told me a little about his sister who has been sober for 4 years.

It's a liberating feeling to be honest and meet this monster head on. I am on day 21 or so, and I feel like this time I'm in for the long haul! I may miss the "good" feelings I had sometimes while drinking; but hey, I miss a lot of things, especially my husband, who died too young long ago due to alcohol complications. I've had to learn to live without him, so I better damn well learn to live without that "stuff"!

Anyways, sorry about the long post, but I just wanted to say: We can do this!

hopebutterfly

Thank you so much Heartfan! I like the experiment idea. Thinking of it that way feel empowering, like this is something I am doing, not something I am not doing (even thought that is true too). That idea is helpful to me, it sounds weird that I have a drinking problem but have managed to accomplish so much in my life...while drinking, but it's close to ruining my health now. Looking at this as a task, something to accomplish feels helpful to me.
So Sorry you lost your husband and thank your for sharing that, we need to know that alcohol can have this kind of outcome. You're very strong, although I am sure you don't way feel that way. Thanks so much for your encouragement! Lets keep in touch on here and we can encourage each other. I wonder how I'll feel at 21 days?

hopebutterfly

Hi driftedsoul, Today is my day three, lets keep in touch on these boards, it has been so helpful for me just the past three days. It sounds like you went through a lot to get to the point of quitting like so many others, and myself.
What you said about saying "I can't" rather than no is so powerful, there is a whole story in those two words.

Dave42001

Nice work!! Get through another day, don't drink!! Baby steps.. One day at a time!! Good luck, you can do this!!

hopebutterfly

Day three. I ate a lot yesterday, healthy foods though, but I kept wanting to eat. I have an appointment next week to see my doctor, I think talking on this forum will help me find the words to talk about it for real. I feel very good right now, I started meditating again last night which is something I have not done in years. I 've got this time between 5 and 9pm that I usually spend sipping drinks, to do other things. I find that I want to talk to my friends more often. My partners habits are not as annoying right now. I think the drinks brought out my co-dependence more or something. Even thought my partner does not know how much I was drinking, I think my behavior was off putting, my distance while drunk or sensitivity. I realized there are parts of myself that have been asleep, I think as they re awaken I will remember why life can be exciting sometimes. I also think our relationship will grow, because I think our respect for each other will grow.
Day three, it feels good, now if things get stressful, I could imagine that could throw me off, I have to do something new.

quitforme79

When I was drinking, possible health issues never stopped me. Sad but true. BUT do whatever it takes to stay in the moment. Stay sober JUST FOR TODAY. We can do anything for 24 hours I stay sober with the help of SR and AA. In the beginning it's about just not drinking but then it becomes about learning how to live sober. What's your plan of recovery?

quitforme79

Oh and I stayed away from anywhere alcohol would be for the first couple of months so I didn't have that option to even entertain the thought.