muskrats21

I guess its a start? First place that I've checked out after I've decided I have a problem and need help. I used to just justify my drinking or rationalize it somehow as not being a problem. Im not abusive or violent when drinking. Heck a person would probably not know if I was drinking or not to be honest. I don't get hung over... I don't even think I get drunk really. I don't miss work because of drinking night before. Some blackouts or forget conversations is about all. So I guess thats why i let it continue for so long. I guess I didn't see where it was effecting my life in a negative way.

BUT..... it seems like it has to be a problem. I am so dependant on it for some reason. I drink EVERY day. Found myself drinking earlier and earlier. Watching the clock wondering what time is "acceptable" to have "just one" (which just opens flood gates for rest of day and night). Also, I find myself putting off cutting back or quitting for "triggers" I think they are called. Even this weekend, I'll stop drinking after the Masters golf tournament is done on sunday because I enjoy it so much. Then it will be something else etc.....

Also, I've had a ton of major life things happen all at once which makes this 10times harder to do at this particular time of my life because I lean on beer to get me through the days. Job, relationship with fiance, financial, etc.... I am a very private person and keep to myself mostly. So support is limited for me. Anyway..... just thought I'd chime in and introduce myself.

elleb

Welcome muskrats!

A lot of what you just described sounded very familiar to me!

It took me a long while to accept I had no option except total abstinence.
On day 19 and going well - when I accepted I was unable to control my alcohol intake, something 'clicked' and I knew I had to stop and reclaim my life.

I have found this board really welcoming and helpful and I have only been posting for a few days.

All the best xx

2granddaughters

Hello M.

I can really identify with your underlined statement above, most alcoholics I know were like that in the beginning.. I know I was.

I limited my support because of the way I was. I never thought of changing the way I was to be open to support, growth and change.

It's sorta like the the tail wagging the dog, isn't it ??

Once I joined AA and quit drinking I was able to begin sorting out those quirky thought patterns I had that had been so detrimental in the past.

All the best.

Bob R

sugarbear1

You seem to be exactly like hundreds of people I run into at AA meetings.

Have you looked into any of the methods for staying stopped?

Rational Recovery
SOS
AVRT
SMART
Life Ring Power to Quit
Women for Sobriety
AA

All have their own websites.

If you are ready to stay stopped, you can do it!

Mattcake

Welcome, Musk. You are in the right place. Reach out all the time, you are safe here, you'll find all the support you need

least

I'm glad you found us and joined the family! I hope we can give you the support you need to quit drinking. It may not be too bad now, but it will get worse, it always gets worse.

Mattcake

Least is so right, Musk. It will spiral out of control before you know it. Please be proactive and spare yourself years of.. hardship.

Count on us for support.

Impurrfect

Welcome to SR!!

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

muskrats21

ty all for the support. Day one of finding this place and WOW i'm astonished! You people are great and i can only hope to return the favor on the other end someday.

Day one failed. I succombed to the urges. Ashamed to say but it's the truth.

Hevyn

Welcome Muskrats. It's hard to get started - and you aren't a failure. You intend to continue trying, and that's what counts. It took me several tries to kick it out of my life for good.

It was so hard for me to believe I didn't need it in my life. In the end, it was nothing more than a bad habit - it just kept me numb & foggy, not high and happy. It was taking all the joy from my life. I can honestly say I love my life now - & don't miss those drinking days one bit. You will get there.

JohnnyOneDay

Muskrat,
You are in the right place. I drank every day (usually whiskey/coke) for about 30 years, and while I maintained some sort of appearance of an ideal life on the outside (college degrees, good job, house, cars, teenage kids, wife, dog, etc.), I was a total mess on the inside. I could not go even 1 - 2 days without drinking. I couldnt wait to get home from work to pour my first highball. I had whiskey hidden around the house so nobody "knew" how much I drank. But they knew, because over the years I had become an angry, mean, selfish drunk.

I lurked around SR last summer for a few weeks, and got the courage to quit. Called my doctor and then a counselor, and they said to go to AA, which I did. Long story short.... it was the BEST DECISION I ever made. it CHANGED MY LIFE. Every aspect of my life is better now... relationships, health, spirituality, etc. etc. I NEVER THOUGHT that I could ever live my life without alcohol, after 30 years of dependence/addiction. But with the help of friends here at SR and AA, I have now gone 254 days without a drink. I went to 195 AA meetings in that time, and am working the 12 steps (currently on my step 6).

So, it's working for me. It can work for you too. Keep coming back; I wish you the best.