Time to stop
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Upstate/Western, NY
Posts: 11
Time to stop
Even posting this is kind of awkward. Here goes:
I've been a heavy drinker on and off since I turned 20 (I turn 32 this month). For 2 years before that it had been ecstasy and a couple of other drug experimentations. But I watched some friends that were older than me and had been using for a while longer continue to make bad choices and decided that was not the way I wanted to live. I also hated the paranoia of doing something illegal and getting caught. So I started to just drink when I was out at the club instead. It was legal and noone really cared. I didn't own a car, so there was never any issues there.
When was 25, I moved out of NYS for a while. I got my first decent job as an assistant manager in a large retail chain. I stopped drinking since I didn't really know many people in the area and didn't go out much. Once I made some friends, I did start drinking again, but not as much. Until my best friend died from complications post bone marrow transplant. I lost it. Completely. I left Massachusetts and moved back to NYS. I stayed with the same retail company for a while, but got a job bartending as well. And my drinking increased and increased until I was falling asleep sitting up at parties and was just a mess.
A few years ago, I met my now husband. We went out all the time. But I had started to slow it down and get it better under control. A year after we met, we started to date, 3 months later we were pregnant with our daughter. I stopped drinking completely during the pregnancy. But I started again when she was about 6 months because her father and I broke up for a while. We got back together, and 6 months later were pregnant with our son. I didn't stop completely, but did not drink every day and never touched liquor. I would have a glass of wine here and there. Which doctors say is not a problem. Our son is 8 months now and is completely fine. I don't breastfeed and I don't let myself get out of control.
But I drink every single night with the very rare occasion when I decide I don't really want to that night. If my daughter (she's 3) is particularly tough to deal with, I'll start with a glass at dinner. I sip through the evening. I don't even get a buzz until they go to bed. I never drive drunk. I never let myself get drunk enough that I don't hear them if they wake up. I am a completely functioning alcoholic. The only one who really knows is my husband. Because I don't go out very often and none of my friends really get how much I drink.
The reason I want to stop is health related. I know that my body will not be able to keep going like this forever. And I have 2 beautiful little kids that I want to be around for. And I know if I die from stomach cancer or liver/kidney failure, etc it would be just as horrible for them as if they had to deal with child abuse (they don't).
So I joined in hopes that tonight, when I want a drink, I'll leave the vodka in the cupboard and log on instead.
I've been a heavy drinker on and off since I turned 20 (I turn 32 this month). For 2 years before that it had been ecstasy and a couple of other drug experimentations. But I watched some friends that were older than me and had been using for a while longer continue to make bad choices and decided that was not the way I wanted to live. I also hated the paranoia of doing something illegal and getting caught. So I started to just drink when I was out at the club instead. It was legal and noone really cared. I didn't own a car, so there was never any issues there.
When was 25, I moved out of NYS for a while. I got my first decent job as an assistant manager in a large retail chain. I stopped drinking since I didn't really know many people in the area and didn't go out much. Once I made some friends, I did start drinking again, but not as much. Until my best friend died from complications post bone marrow transplant. I lost it. Completely. I left Massachusetts and moved back to NYS. I stayed with the same retail company for a while, but got a job bartending as well. And my drinking increased and increased until I was falling asleep sitting up at parties and was just a mess.
A few years ago, I met my now husband. We went out all the time. But I had started to slow it down and get it better under control. A year after we met, we started to date, 3 months later we were pregnant with our daughter. I stopped drinking completely during the pregnancy. But I started again when she was about 6 months because her father and I broke up for a while. We got back together, and 6 months later were pregnant with our son. I didn't stop completely, but did not drink every day and never touched liquor. I would have a glass of wine here and there. Which doctors say is not a problem. Our son is 8 months now and is completely fine. I don't breastfeed and I don't let myself get out of control.
But I drink every single night with the very rare occasion when I decide I don't really want to that night. If my daughter (she's 3) is particularly tough to deal with, I'll start with a glass at dinner. I sip through the evening. I don't even get a buzz until they go to bed. I never drive drunk. I never let myself get drunk enough that I don't hear them if they wake up. I am a completely functioning alcoholic. The only one who really knows is my husband. Because I don't go out very often and none of my friends really get how much I drink.
The reason I want to stop is health related. I know that my body will not be able to keep going like this forever. And I have 2 beautiful little kids that I want to be around for. And I know if I die from stomach cancer or liver/kidney failure, etc it would be just as horrible for them as if they had to deal with child abuse (they don't).
So I joined in hopes that tonight, when I want a drink, I'll leave the vodka in the cupboard and log on instead.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 94
hello Boozyblues....your story sounds familiar, except all those "I never" I actually started doing because My drinking got worse. You are doing the right thing by quitting now, for you and your kids!! I am only on day 4 so if I can be of any help walking the road together, let me know!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: CAPE COD, MA
Posts: 1,020
Hi and welcome to a wonderful new life if you let it happen. One thing that was pointed out when I said I didn’t or hadn’t etc was to add the word YET. Your eligible too and it was so true in my case. I did a lot of comparing instead of identifying. At that time looking back the words KEEP COMING was most needed for me to grasp. BE WELL
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