saveable

Hello
I'm here at work today feeling like what we all know. Crap. I have been drinking heavy for many years. In this process I have figured out that I'm just as bad as my mother was before she passed away from alcohol. I know now that if have praticlly ruined my marriage and almost killed myself in my drunken stoopers. I have joined today to save myself and my life so I can at least be around to have babies that me and my wife both want.

mmhoule

I am with you! In every word. Although it was my ex who is the alcoholic and that is the reason I left HIM! And swore I would never be that way...well hereI am. An alcoholic desperate to make a better life for myself and my kids. No one understands what its like unless you are one...that is the worst part because they put me in this category of "drunk".

saveable

I know its never easy. Its never going to be. I will always struggle. Its in my blood.
I can't deny it anymore. I didn't like it when people called me a drunk either, but sometimes if the shoe fits you got to wear it. I just need to control myself and not let the rest of the world drive me. to drink. We can do it. Because if we don't control it, it controls you

saveable

I don't know how to ask for help or to let someone know that I can't do this on my own. The only person I ever talked to is my wife. She is a blessing from god. I can't pile all of my emoitions on her. Its just too much. I joined to help myself and hopefully help someone else in the process. God help us all

Nonsensical

Welcome to SR. I like the positive attitude you showed up with. The "I'm gonna beat this" attitude. Awesome.

What's your plan to stop drinking? If you don't have one I recommend reading around on the forums to learn about the various methods available for beating the bottle. Ask questions. It's an awesome community here.

Good luck! You can do this!

quitforme79

First, welcome to SR 2nd, you won't always struggle. I thought that too at first but there are so many wonderful things in life that we miss seeing the beauty of when we are drinking. As time goes on, I find I have less and less "struggling" days although they do happen. I get my tools from AA and the wisdom on SR. Do you have a plan?

deeker

Welcome save!! You are on the right path! Good for you!

Hevyn

Happy you are here, saveable. This place has been a miracle for me - I had no one in my life who really understood what I was going through.

I'm glad you've taken a hard look at what alcohol is doing to your life. I went on for 30 yrs. thinking I could somehow be a social drinker. I caused myself so much misery and pain. That won't happen to you - there's going to be a happy ending, and you'll be free of it.

Anna

Welcome and I'm glad you're ready to stop drinking and live the life you want to live. We do understand how hard this is.

least

to SR! I'm glad you joined the family. There's lots of support here so come here often to post and read.

FeenixxRising

Welcome saveable. Have you considered AA? I'm sure there are a number of meetings in LV. And certainly, stick around this site. You will find a lot of support and encouragement here. And everyone here certainly understands what you're going through.

saveable

Thank you for the welcome. And no I haven't tried aa yet. I'm trying to do this on my own. I know they would also help. But for now I know that if I continue on this blog, I will find the help I need.
I am a highly functional alcoholic that works all day and then heads home to continue work on other side jobs. Intoxicated of course. But I know that I very motivated person and would love to show my wife/ my life that I can do this on my own.

saveable

I just wanted to say thanks for all that have contacted me. I am feeling alittle better today. This is my second day and its not too bad. But the one thing I did notice is that while I was showering this morning before work I was already thinking about how me and my wife might go out tonight and have a few drinks at a local casino. Like we usually do. But the only problem with that is I would normally have abt 3 tall cans before she even got home from work one hr after I do. Then we would go out. So tonight I'm not going to have one or any. I need to have the first month to be "dry" or I'll never feel I control again. So that is my plan for the 2nd day. One day at a time. Right

mmhoule

One day at a time is a great way of looking at things. I need to do that too. You already have one day on me! I am still trying to make it 24 hours. I too am highly functional but I have had a few close calls which would end in job loss and I refuse to let this "demon" take me down that road. I have suffered enough and so has my family. I will be thinking of you as I try to keep sober myself! HUGS and good luck!

2granddaughters

For most of us will-power and determination end up falling short against alcohol in the long run. Good luck.

I'll save a chair for you at the meeting if you need us.

All the best.

Bob R

Dee74

welcome to SR saveable

I thought it was in my blood too - but I guess I gave myself a transfusion

you'll find a ton of support here

D

saveable

Today is my 3rd day. I have plenty of stuff to keep me busy. I think today will be a good day.
Me and the wife are dropping off one of four dogs at her aunts and are getting hair cuts. Also have to find time today to replace upper control arm bushings on my truck. I guess I have tomorrow too. But I'll check in later just to keep my mind on track.

SnwFlower

Welcome to SR and congrats on your decision to get healthy and 3 days sober. This is clearly a great place for support. Cheering you on saveable!

saveable

My 4th day was a little better than my 3rd day. I had lots of things to get done yesterday, and I did. But by the end of the day all I could think abt was a cold beer. I did breakdown and by one tall can while I was at the gas station. I felt very guilt abt it. I know that I'm not trying to quit completely I just want to be able to control it. Not having 12 in one sitting. I don't think it was a mistake but I do know now how much I really think abt drinking and it going to be a rough road but I feel like I'm built like a rock and this won't break me. Till tomorrow for my 5th day check in.
P.s. I think that me confessing on this site and to my wife is helping with me understanding that I have a big problem and I'm going to fix it with all the help I can get

Tippingpoint

Good for you!

Something to look forward to...my life is more enjoyable and time seems to have slowed down for me. I enjoy each day more and seem more at piece with each moment.

Even still it has been 671 days since my last drink.