Michele

Well, where do I start. This is my first message and I don't know where to begin, so I guess I will just start out with what's on my mind. I have been dating my A for almost a year and half now. He went through treatment for the third time in January, and seems to be doing pretty good. Although, I am not sure how to read him or understand exactly what I am suppose to be doing or how I should handle some of his mean comments or even just him not wanting to be very kissy huggy. I feel like he doesn't even care anymore. He says he does, but he never shows me anymore. This may not be the typical message, but I don't know what to do.

He does go to AA meetings about 3 or 4 times a week, so that's good. I also just went to my first Al-Anon last Monday night. That has helped me lots too. I am trying to do the detachment thing also, but it's hard. I'm not sure if I'm doing it or not. J

Just needing some direction here.

Daffodil

BIG Time HUGS Michele, Welcome to SR. Since you asked the question, I am allowed to give you my answer based on my experience, strength and hope.

First, Take a good read around this forum. The sticky posts at the top by smoke gets in your eyes is a wonderful place to start.
Take a deep breath!
Second, Go to some more meetings.
Take a deep breath!
Third Read all you can about the disease of alcoholism.
Take a deep breath!
Keep coming back and posting.
Take a deep breath!
After you have done all that a hot bubble bath is wonderful.
You won't be able to apply all you can learn at once. I've been doing the detachment thing for a number of years and everyting I turn around there appears another wrinkle.
We learn to apply the Al-Anon program one instance at a time.

Hope that helps.
Love and prayers from one who cares,
Daffodil

Laura M

Hey Michele,
You hang in there! Together, you and me, we'll get through this! Or kill our A's trying!
Daffodil is right, we can't apply everything we learn all at once. It's so hard not to want to do it all right away, hoping it will be the time that makes a difference. Detachment is the pits but it will help, once you and I get it figured out. Personally, I think you should kick your A's you know what and tell him to give you the affection you deserve or he's outta there! :LMAO

Remember, we're friends till the end and I love ya!
Laura

sunflowergal29

Welcome, Michele! I just thought I'd add that this site is definitely a great place to come and get some support from others who have gone through similar experiences. It has been a lifesaver for me, and I have learned more about myself here than I ever dreamed of.
-SFG29