LaLauren

Hi everybody!
I have been reading these forums for a couple months now and finally took the leap today to join. I've always known deep down I have a problem but I consider myself a functioning alcoholic so I always let myself pass instead of facing up to it.

I started in high school at parties (I owned the flip cup table) and it became a sense of being popular and cool, I threw parties bc I liked the attention. I always maintained good grades but my desire to party ended up ruining the relationship I had with my parents during that time (it's now fixed). My dance with alcohol continued in college where twice I ended up in the hospital for being obliterated and subsequently the availability of it and the constant parties made me fail out my first year. I realized this isn't good and quit for the majority enrolled in community college and started working full time.

Fast forward I am 24 work 7 days a week, excel at my job, engaged and for the past year and a half drink about 6-8 beers a night on average I space it in a 4 hour range bc I feel like when I watch tv or to relax is is what I need. I don't get **** ass drunk anymore it's more of a mellow feeling.

I'm ready to quit for good. I don't really have the support of my fiancé he smokes every night for his anxiety and if I say I'm not drinking he feels guilty about his situation and coaxes me to drink. I did lay down the law though and he said he won't mention a thing but I'm not sure that he's overly pleased. I want to set a shirt term goal of 30 days and go from there and I would really be grateful for any tips or just a reach out.

Thanks

Gilmer

Hi, LaLauren! With every day sober you'll feel better. You'll save a lot of $$, too.

least

I agree with Gilmer. You'll start feeling much better sober. Why not make your goal three months instead of one? One month isn't really long enough to notice the changes, the difference, without alcohol.

I'm glad you joined us!

Jeni26

Hi, and welcome to SR. Glad you're with us.

I was also a functioning alcoholic, in that it never seriously affected my job. I went to work hungover most days mind you, but managed somehow to continue to do well. That actually kept me in denial for a long time. I always had a vision of an alcoholic as a mean, violent drunk, and that certainly wasn't the case for me.

Over time though, weekend drinking developed into daily drinking, which led to an increase in my anxiety and depression. I was pretty much living in a fog for a long time, just going through the motions.

The consequences started to get worse too, and I started to realise I was spiralling.

This site was and still is a Godsend for me. I spent time at first just reading posts, finding out how others with long time sobriety had managed it, then I posted lots and joined a monthly daily support group so I had people at the same stage of sobriety to me as support.

Just read and post. There's lots of wisdom and advice here at your fingertips x

LaLauren

Lol tell me about it 8-10 bucks a day adds up. And I would love to make my goal 3 months after the one month because I usually am good for two weeks then I go out for drinks with my friends at the bar and I fail.

shauninspain

Hello, good evening and

I am very glad that you have made the decision to quit alcohol if it has become a problem in your life. You'll certainly save yourself a world of misery by quitting now. Like any habitual .....uh...habit, you will feel strange not indulging in your usual routine so be prepared to feel quite out of sorts, and somewhat lost as in what to do with yourself. It would be very wise to start something in the evenings (swim, run, read, paint, draw, cook etc etc etc) to fill the time, and to keep your mind occupied. When you say your bf smokes, do you mean Marlboros or something more exotic? If it's the latter keep away from it as it will do you no good either. Keep posting on here every night after work as well, and share how you feel so others can help you.

LaLauren

@shauninspain "the more exotic" but I never got into that. I also don't drink hard liquor it really is all beer.

bigsombrero

Hi Lauren, congrats on signing up. I just wanted to welcome you and to encourage you to keep coming back! You might find some really helpful things. One thing I noticed early on here is that most folks are committed to quitting alcohol, period. Many of us thought we could control our drinking with some time away from the bottle, but in most cases we found that a permanent end to alcohol was best.

Don't be nervous - you are among friends and you'll get great support here! You are off to a great start, thank you for sharing your story.

MsGiraffe

Hi Lauren,

Welcome! This is my first day on here as well and have been sober only a day. We share a similar story. Lots of early drinking, eased up a bit enough in my mid twenties and now i drink on a daily basis. Nothing hard, usually wine/beer and its always a mellow drunk (but drunk is drunk). My bf smokes as well (and i have no interest in it) and plan on talking to him tonight about my decision to quit. Im getting close to hitting my idea of rock bottom(extreme depression and anxiety/nearing losing my job). I hope hes supportive. If not, it may be the end of that. If he cant support me, apparently he wants me dead.

Im very scared, but have this feeling of hope, especially now that im on this forum. Reading through threads there seems to be an amazing community of supporters.

Good luck and i hope you find the strength to stay sober.

Skyjumper

With me, it was same number of drinks, never really wasted, but definitely in a haze most nights/mornings. Then I spend the next day wondering if I had a problem, if there could be something more, or if I was missing something. The constant questions were a splinter in my brain, until I get home and drink again. Repeat. Of course the answer was “yes” to all of the above. Coming here helped me realize that.

For sure, try the 30 day thing. Check the web site. Explore your feelings. Hopefully you’ll get your answers. Sobriety can’t hurt, right? I mean, you’ll never have regrets for it. You’ll never look back one day and say, “I wish I had a sixer last Wednesday.”