Telling my dd and SSI for terminally ill XAH
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 237
Telling my dd and SSI for terminally ill XAH
I am going to a family therapist next Friday to address the first question, but before I do I thought I would get some of you wise folks opinion's also. What would you recommend I do with regards to telling my 8-year-old daughter about her dad's terminal cancer? I am definitely NOT going to do anything before I meet with the therapist, and before my XAH has more definitive answers regarding his treatment plan and prospects. Any thoughts on this, particularly from people who have been through it on either end would be appreciated.
Secondly, I have mentioned previously that my XAH is homeless and penniless. I took him to an SRO in the city after I picked him up from the hospital yesterday because I'm sorry, I just don't have it in my heart to deposit someone who just got the news he did to the homeless shelter. I do have (barely) enough money to keep him the SRO, but obviously would love some financial help, and I don't know yet if I will get any financial help from his sisters. We were told that his diagnosis should probably lead to an expedited SSRI or SSI process, but here are my questions....Because nothing with him can ever be easy, I know that he has not filed income tax for 2011 or 2012. 2012 is not as big of a deal because he did file an extension, and likely owes nothing, but in 2011 he worked as an independent contractor writing for a company and got checks from them with no taxes removed, so he figured he probably owes about $900 in back taxes for that year. He says his sister claims to have never gotten a W-2 from that company (he used her address for checks), so first he would have to go about getting that, which may be difficult as I think the company is out of business. Anyway, I would LOVE to know that the back taxes situation will not preclude him from SSRI or SSI, that they may just take the money out of his benefits. Another worry is he has a LOT of defaulted federal student loans. I guess I was just wondering if anyone knows anything about how this may impact his chances, because at this point his receiving SSI or SSRI would be a God-send.
And I realize that this is not my responsibility, but in this situation, I am going to do what I truly feel in my gut is morally right, and paying for him to at least stay in this SRO is what I feel is morally right.
Secondly, I have mentioned previously that my XAH is homeless and penniless. I took him to an SRO in the city after I picked him up from the hospital yesterday because I'm sorry, I just don't have it in my heart to deposit someone who just got the news he did to the homeless shelter. I do have (barely) enough money to keep him the SRO, but obviously would love some financial help, and I don't know yet if I will get any financial help from his sisters. We were told that his diagnosis should probably lead to an expedited SSRI or SSI process, but here are my questions....Because nothing with him can ever be easy, I know that he has not filed income tax for 2011 or 2012. 2012 is not as big of a deal because he did file an extension, and likely owes nothing, but in 2011 he worked as an independent contractor writing for a company and got checks from them with no taxes removed, so he figured he probably owes about $900 in back taxes for that year. He says his sister claims to have never gotten a W-2 from that company (he used her address for checks), so first he would have to go about getting that, which may be difficult as I think the company is out of business. Anyway, I would LOVE to know that the back taxes situation will not preclude him from SSRI or SSI, that they may just take the money out of his benefits. Another worry is he has a LOT of defaulted federal student loans. I guess I was just wondering if anyone knows anything about how this may impact his chances, because at this point his receiving SSI or SSRI would be a God-send.
And I realize that this is not my responsibility, but in this situation, I am going to do what I truly feel in my gut is morally right, and paying for him to at least stay in this SRO is what I feel is morally right.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
Hi Mambo Queen, so sorry to hear what is going on. Prayers to you, your family and your ex.
I did work at social security about a decade ago. I handled SSI claims. First thing, call social security to express an intent to file a claim. This will protect your filing date. SSI does not pay retroactive benefits. He may also be entitled to Social Security Disability Benefits. Requirements for that is that he has 5 years of covered work out of the last 10 years, and enough prior work to give him the quarters of coverage that he needs.
When you make the phone call, ask them about the other things that you are concerned about. When I worked there, they did not take fed owed taxes out of SSI benefits. Not sure about SSDI, and laws may have changed, but don't think so.
It would not affect claim whatsoever about money that he owes. Also with SSI he would get Medicaid.
In the meantime you can see about welfare benefits until his claim is approved. Do not give him any money, because that will count as an income for SSI benefits. You can loan him the money though and he can repay you when his claim is approved.
Like I said it has been a long time since I worked there so things may have changed, but I will answer your questions with the knowledge that I still retain from working there.
Take care
I did work at social security about a decade ago. I handled SSI claims. First thing, call social security to express an intent to file a claim. This will protect your filing date. SSI does not pay retroactive benefits. He may also be entitled to Social Security Disability Benefits. Requirements for that is that he has 5 years of covered work out of the last 10 years, and enough prior work to give him the quarters of coverage that he needs.
When you make the phone call, ask them about the other things that you are concerned about. When I worked there, they did not take fed owed taxes out of SSI benefits. Not sure about SSDI, and laws may have changed, but don't think so.
It would not affect claim whatsoever about money that he owes. Also with SSI he would get Medicaid.
In the meantime you can see about welfare benefits until his claim is approved. Do not give him any money, because that will count as an income for SSI benefits. You can loan him the money though and he can repay you when his claim is approved.
Like I said it has been a long time since I worked there so things may have changed, but I will answer your questions with the knowledge that I still retain from working there.
Take care
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 237
Thanks for your reply Amy. That gives me some hope that he can at least get SSI. The social worker I spoke with said she recommended using an attorney, that she feels those that are represented have a better chance of getting their claim approved. Do you agree with this? He is already on Medicaid, thankfully, so his treatment will be covered.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
Would not recommend an attorney for an initial claim. They actually do nothing on an initial claim.
Would only recommend an attorney on a hearing case, and that is if the case if denied on the initial claim and the reconsideration level.
Reason why, for an initial claim and a reconsideration, it is done by an agency of the state that makes the medical determination. There is no face to face interviews. Only if it gets to a hearings level do you get to speak to someone to plead your case to.
The Social Security office will help you as much as possible. They will help you with the forms, etc... everything that an attorney would be doing.
Also another suggestion. If he needs 2011 to be insured for Social Security Benefits, then do what you can to get that tax return filed. It could mean monthly benefits for your daughter. (Am assuming that she is his daughter)
But call today to request an appt. Everyday counts for SSI and you could be losing about $20plus ea day that this is put off. Have Joe call, they will be able to tell him then if he is insured for Social Security Disability Benefits.
Would only recommend an attorney on a hearing case, and that is if the case if denied on the initial claim and the reconsideration level.
Reason why, for an initial claim and a reconsideration, it is done by an agency of the state that makes the medical determination. There is no face to face interviews. Only if it gets to a hearings level do you get to speak to someone to plead your case to.
The Social Security office will help you as much as possible. They will help you with the forms, etc... everything that an attorney would be doing.
Also another suggestion. If he needs 2011 to be insured for Social Security Benefits, then do what you can to get that tax return filed. It could mean monthly benefits for your daughter. (Am assuming that she is his daughter)
But call today to request an appt. Everyday counts for SSI and you could be losing about $20plus ea day that this is put off. Have Joe call, they will be able to tell him then if he is insured for Social Security Disability Benefits.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New York
Posts: 877
Regarding breaking the difficult news to your child: my sister is an oncologist and she refers all her patients to the American Cancer Society website. Apparently they have a bunch of links to support groups on there. I think it would be a good place to get started. You may even find a forum like SR, but for families of cancer victims. Hugs and prayers for you.
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When he/you file for his disability, SS will actually do two applications. The first one is for SSI as those are approved quicker than the SSDI. Depending on how long it takes to get the SSI approved, if it takes longer than 6 months then he would get back pay for the months over 6.
SS calls the first 6 months 'processing time.' In the meantime they are also working on his SSDI claim. Once that is approved, he will get the difference between the SSI and the SSDI in a backpay check. Depending on the state and the final monthly amount of his disability payments, he will be eligible for Medicaid definitely on SSI and then on SSDI Medicare and some medicaid.
Excellent suggestion to check with your local hospice as they can help you walk through the 'mine fields' your are going to be walking through.
Also, it will really depend on what area of the country you are in, and what regional SS office oversees your area. Some of the regional offices are really overwork and some are on a pretty good schedule. Also, it will depend on his doctor's report and how it is worded whether SS wants him to see a Dr that does SS exams.
Over the last 9+ years that I have known folks that have filed for disability, myself included, the fastest I have seen the SSI come through is 2.5 months and then another 8 to 10 months for the SSDI to be approved. Mine on the other hand was one of the longer ones at 2 years 7 months just to get the SSI approved and then another 6.5 months before my SSDI came through. I know of several longer but not by much.
However, the ones I have seen come through rather quickly are the 'serious' ones with cancer, Primary Progress MS, etc
Since you are helping him again, has he signed the HIPPA form that you can speak with his doctor and get the information from the Dr as to exactly what the Dr's diagnosis is, is there any treatment that will give him some remission, how long does he have? etc I have found that when a person is given that kind of news they don't necessarily get all the info that is being told to them correct. There seems to be a 'mental block' that goes up.
Be aware that the SRO is not equipped to handle terminally ill people, so his stay there will not be long, once they find out or see how ill he is. So the sooner you know the actual time frame from his Dr you may be able to secure him a bed in hospice, or hospice will know of an 'assisted living facility' where in hospice can do the home visits and take over his overall care once there is nothing more that can be done, then it become 'palliative care' keeping the person 'comfortable' and as 'pain free' as possible with no extreme measures taken.
Also, I am sure your local hospice will have some good suggestions on how to talk to and explain the situation to your daughter. Most hospices also have 'grief' groups and some even have them for children.
His disability is not conditioned on 'if' he owes money to IRS or not.' And unless the law was very recently changed, IRS CANNOT garnish disability payments from SS. They can GARNISH 'retirement checks' for back taxes but not 'disability checks.'
Hope the above helps a bit.
Prayers going out for you and your family.
Love and hugs,
SS calls the first 6 months 'processing time.' In the meantime they are also working on his SSDI claim. Once that is approved, he will get the difference between the SSI and the SSDI in a backpay check. Depending on the state and the final monthly amount of his disability payments, he will be eligible for Medicaid definitely on SSI and then on SSDI Medicare and some medicaid.
Excellent suggestion to check with your local hospice as they can help you walk through the 'mine fields' your are going to be walking through.
Also, it will really depend on what area of the country you are in, and what regional SS office oversees your area. Some of the regional offices are really overwork and some are on a pretty good schedule. Also, it will depend on his doctor's report and how it is worded whether SS wants him to see a Dr that does SS exams.
Over the last 9+ years that I have known folks that have filed for disability, myself included, the fastest I have seen the SSI come through is 2.5 months and then another 8 to 10 months for the SSDI to be approved. Mine on the other hand was one of the longer ones at 2 years 7 months just to get the SSI approved and then another 6.5 months before my SSDI came through. I know of several longer but not by much.
However, the ones I have seen come through rather quickly are the 'serious' ones with cancer, Primary Progress MS, etc
Since you are helping him again, has he signed the HIPPA form that you can speak with his doctor and get the information from the Dr as to exactly what the Dr's diagnosis is, is there any treatment that will give him some remission, how long does he have? etc I have found that when a person is given that kind of news they don't necessarily get all the info that is being told to them correct. There seems to be a 'mental block' that goes up.
Be aware that the SRO is not equipped to handle terminally ill people, so his stay there will not be long, once they find out or see how ill he is. So the sooner you know the actual time frame from his Dr you may be able to secure him a bed in hospice, or hospice will know of an 'assisted living facility' where in hospice can do the home visits and take over his overall care once there is nothing more that can be done, then it become 'palliative care' keeping the person 'comfortable' and as 'pain free' as possible with no extreme measures taken.
Also, I am sure your local hospice will have some good suggestions on how to talk to and explain the situation to your daughter. Most hospices also have 'grief' groups and some even have them for children.
His disability is not conditioned on 'if' he owes money to IRS or not.' And unless the law was very recently changed, IRS CANNOT garnish disability payments from SS. They can GARNISH 'retirement checks' for back taxes but not 'disability checks.'
Hope the above helps a bit.
Prayers going out for you and your family.
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
Other suggestions for you.
Get Joe to sign the hippa form so that they will release medical information to you. You don't need to have this done if Joe can get the information himself.
Try to get all the medical records that you can, so that you can submit this with his claim. It speeds things up if social security does not have to request the medical records.
If they are going to charge you for the records, (some places do), don't pay, social security will request and pay for the information. It just takes longer.
How does Joe look? Sometimes an in office face to face with a claims representative at Social Security is better. When we have face to face interviews, we had to write our observations down of the person. Don't have to get him cleaned up for the interview. Let him be who is usually is.
They will ask on the disability report form for a date of onset. That means when did the disability begin. Does not have to be the date of the diagnosis. Find out from doctors to see how long they feel that he would not have been able to work. This would only be necessary if he qualifies for Social Security Disability Benefits.
With ssi, you only need to prove that he was disabled as of the date of the application, or the protective filing date for the ssi application.
With social security disability benefits, if you can go prior to date of application, lets say about 2, 3 or 4 months, he may be entitled to social security benefits sooner.
There is a 5 month waiting period before you can collect social security disability, meaning that a person would have to be disabled for a full 5 months before being entitled to a social security check. Benefits would be paid as of the 6th month of a disability. (No one ever really explained to me the reason why, I just assumed that it was because State Disability, in the states, that do pay this, lasts for 6 months.)
If approved for social security disability, Medicare does not start until you are entitled to receive a disability check for 24 consequetive months. Meaning 30 months after your onset of disability is approved.
Get Joe to sign the hippa form so that they will release medical information to you. You don't need to have this done if Joe can get the information himself.
Try to get all the medical records that you can, so that you can submit this with his claim. It speeds things up if social security does not have to request the medical records.
If they are going to charge you for the records, (some places do), don't pay, social security will request and pay for the information. It just takes longer.
How does Joe look? Sometimes an in office face to face with a claims representative at Social Security is better. When we have face to face interviews, we had to write our observations down of the person. Don't have to get him cleaned up for the interview. Let him be who is usually is.
They will ask on the disability report form for a date of onset. That means when did the disability begin. Does not have to be the date of the diagnosis. Find out from doctors to see how long they feel that he would not have been able to work. This would only be necessary if he qualifies for Social Security Disability Benefits.
With ssi, you only need to prove that he was disabled as of the date of the application, or the protective filing date for the ssi application.
With social security disability benefits, if you can go prior to date of application, lets say about 2, 3 or 4 months, he may be entitled to social security benefits sooner.
There is a 5 month waiting period before you can collect social security disability, meaning that a person would have to be disabled for a full 5 months before being entitled to a social security check. Benefits would be paid as of the 6th month of a disability. (No one ever really explained to me the reason why, I just assumed that it was because State Disability, in the states, that do pay this, lasts for 6 months.)
If approved for social security disability, Medicare does not start until you are entitled to receive a disability check for 24 consequetive months. Meaning 30 months after your onset of disability is approved.
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Seeking Peace
Posts: 1,371
I am so sorry for everything you are facing right now. My heart and prayers go out to you, your exah and your precious daughter.
I dont know much about SSI but I do know that hospice was a true God-send for my family when my dad was in the final stages of life.
Please keep reaching out for support but here at SR and elsewhere...(the AMerican CAncer Society, hospice, support groups for your daughter, etc etc). You don't have to face this alone.
HUgs...
Mary
I dont know much about SSI but I do know that hospice was a true God-send for my family when my dad was in the final stages of life.
Please keep reaching out for support but here at SR and elsewhere...(the AMerican CAncer Society, hospice, support groups for your daughter, etc etc). You don't have to face this alone.
HUgs...
Mary
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