Today is my 20th wedding anniversary to my STBXAH
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,452
Today is my 20th wedding anniversary to my STBXAH
and I'm moving on, joyfully!
A dear friend coincidentally called me this morning, and when I told her, she told me this joke:
A man married 50 years was asked how he survived in his marriage for that long. He replied "When we were married 20 years, I took her to Italy. Now that we're married 50 years, I'm going to bring her back."
I think I did my grieving on Easter when the church and the organ music were so very much like my wedding day that they transported me back to the promise of that day, and I cried my heart out in the church vestibule as I listened to the glorious music and remembered the love and hope that I had that day.
Now, I feel so free. My grown children are taking me to dinner, and I wrote that it wasn't to mourn a loss, but to celebrate a new beginning and tell them about all the new things I've found to do, all the new friends I've made.
And now it looks like my STBXAH is coming to the negotiating table for the divorce for real. His offer is still kind of ridiculous, but I can prove that I am entitled to half of some of the property he is claiming for himself, so it is more a matter of law than negotiation on the majority of the issues.
There is life after a bad marriage! Nine months ago, when I was first separated - when I ran away in panic after his abusive alcoholism and porn use became intolerable - I couldn't see how I would survive. What I didn't understand was that as the weeks and months went by, I would heal, a little more each day. The problems are still in front of me - being age 62 with not anywhere enough income to live on - but the healthier I get, the more I see them as opportunities to do something interesting and fulfilling.
The more I ask for help from my Higher Power, God to me, and the more I ask to be worthy of that help, the more that comes to me, in such unexpected ways, more than I could ever have envisioned for myself. I am very grateful.
There is hope!
ShootingStar1
A dear friend coincidentally called me this morning, and when I told her, she told me this joke:
A man married 50 years was asked how he survived in his marriage for that long. He replied "When we were married 20 years, I took her to Italy. Now that we're married 50 years, I'm going to bring her back."
I think I did my grieving on Easter when the church and the organ music were so very much like my wedding day that they transported me back to the promise of that day, and I cried my heart out in the church vestibule as I listened to the glorious music and remembered the love and hope that I had that day.
Now, I feel so free. My grown children are taking me to dinner, and I wrote that it wasn't to mourn a loss, but to celebrate a new beginning and tell them about all the new things I've found to do, all the new friends I've made.
And now it looks like my STBXAH is coming to the negotiating table for the divorce for real. His offer is still kind of ridiculous, but I can prove that I am entitled to half of some of the property he is claiming for himself, so it is more a matter of law than negotiation on the majority of the issues.
There is life after a bad marriage! Nine months ago, when I was first separated - when I ran away in panic after his abusive alcoholism and porn use became intolerable - I couldn't see how I would survive. What I didn't understand was that as the weeks and months went by, I would heal, a little more each day. The problems are still in front of me - being age 62 with not anywhere enough income to live on - but the healthier I get, the more I see them as opportunities to do something interesting and fulfilling.
The more I ask for help from my Higher Power, God to me, and the more I ask to be worthy of that help, the more that comes to me, in such unexpected ways, more than I could ever have envisioned for myself. I am very grateful.
There is hope!
ShootingStar1
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 391
ShootingStar,
This year, some time around July 4th isn't it (?), you will have a new anniversary to celebrate. I know that wherever I am that day, at some point, I will think of you driving down that road in the dark. But instead of imagining you driving AWAY from that sad and scary situation - I will think of you driving towards this freedom and a happier life.
Hugs,
MamaKit
This year, some time around July 4th isn't it (?), you will have a new anniversary to celebrate. I know that wherever I am that day, at some point, I will think of you driving down that road in the dark. But instead of imagining you driving AWAY from that sad and scary situation - I will think of you driving towards this freedom and a happier life.
Hugs,
MamaKit
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Seeking Peace
Posts: 1,371
Shooting Star!! I am so happy to read your post today. You made my heart smile. Your recovery is shining my dear! THere are lots of reasons to celebrate today...and your recovery is number one!! Hooray for you!!
Enjoy dinner with the family...
Hugs...and admiration...
Enjoy dinner with the family...
Hugs...and admiration...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 62
Thank you for your inspirational post today. I am also 62. I was served divorce papers yesterday. The process is just beginning for me. I'm scared , and apprehensive but your post helped me to feel some optimism for my unknown future. Congrats and thank you.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
