joy1984

Hi I'm joy, I'm new here. I don't really know what to say lol.... I'm 28 and I've been using for about half my life now. I went to a treatment center back in '09 but relapsed about a month after I got out and now I am as lost as I ever was. Every time I try to get clean, I get scared once the sickness hits me. I feel like my time is running out though. I feel like if I don't get clean I'm gonna die, and soon. I've been hiding the extent of my addiction from my family and my boyfriend, and everything is starting to get exhausting. I'm just so tired of the using and the lying and scheming. I just don't know how to start to get clean. I feel lost and very alone.

trachemys

Hi. You aren't lost and you aren't alone. Sounds like you need another trip to the treatment center. Then a support system for when you come out clean. Quitting is easy. Staying quit is hard. Glad you found this place. Maybe we can help each other.

BuddinK

Joy,

Welcome to SR, you came to a great place with tons of support, take the time to read a lot of posts , I'm sure you will find someone who has been through what you have been going through and can help, if only to realize that you are not alone.


Stay strong
Ken

2granddaughters

Hopefully the treatment center advised you to attend NA/AA meetings regularly.

The treatment center isn't a cure, it just gets your feet on the ground to get you started in recovery.

Look up NA or AA in the phone book or on line and call them. They will save your life.

All the best.

Bob R

pacificsunrise

Joy, welcome to SR. You are not alone and many have been in your shoes before. You can do it! I know that it sounds easier said than done, but many are a living proof of being able to do it. You are on the right path. Stay strong and NEVER give up. Hugs and Hope.

least

to the family. You are no longer alone, you are with people here who understand what you're going thru. I hope we can help you get and stay clean and sober.

Impurrfect

((Joy)) - Welcome to SR! I was pretty lost when I found SR, too. I lurked, continued using, but finally signed on when I had 6 months clean.

SR and the great folks here have been a HUGE part of my recovery. They "get me", and I'm pretty sure you will find the same.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

neferkamichael

Joy, Every time I try to get clean, I get scared once the sickness hits me. That sentence makes it clear you understand what you are going through. Just suffer through that sickness, you'll be alright. That sick feelings goes away with time, and the cravings diminish as well. Rootin for ya.

Hevyn

Welcome Joy. We all understand how you feel. I'm glad you found us.

I was at the same point when I quit drinking - totally exhausted from the effort of it all. I don't know why I thought it was helping me cope with life. It was such a relief to be free of it. I know you can kick that stuff out of your life and have a new beginning.

Recovery1983

Hey Joy, just reading your post hits really close to home. I'm 30 and i've been battling my addictions for 1/3 of my life. My last treatment center was in 2010-2011. Going into treatment, I remember I was desperate to try anything. I really was too. I think I got about six months after leaving treatment before having a relapse.

I hear it in the rooms of NA/AA and it's in the literature, but it rings so true after you realize or have been living in the hell. For me it becomes the issue of having to remember on a daily basis of how desperate I want to be sober. If I don't, I might not use/drink that day, but it might be that end of the week or lead to next week. I've been in and out of NA/AA rooms, treatment centers, and read literature. I feel like I have the tools, but it won't work if I don't utilize them on a daily basis. It's easy to realize since i'm day 3 again, but I can't afford to let my mind forget that I am an addict/alcoholic for one day or even one minute.

Thanks for posting because otherwise I would not have responded. By writing this stuff down, it reaffirms how real it gets with me.