mds1212

I have been doing this for about 9-10 months and have come to the conclusion that I have no power over using but life is still pretty good. I certainly have a drinking problem but cocaine definitely greased the wheels. I put together 8 good months and felt pretty good for most of it but hit the wall at step 5 which was at 7 months.

I relapsed in and out for the past 30 days. Except for feeling lousy and guilty the day after, the consequences have been pretty small. I have always had a great relationship with my kids, pretty good marriage a good carrer and money in the bank.

Not sure if powerless can make me surrender but in my heart I would like to but just can't make the mind go there.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

2granddaughters

Are you doing AA or NA ??

All the best.

Bob R

doggonecarl

Big consequences are often too late. I don't advice waiting for one to be the spur you need to quit. Everything is good now. But at some point it wasn't, and you quit. Drink and you will likely end up right where you were before.

Odelle

I haven’t been to AA, thus I haven’t worked the steps but I’m sure someone who has AA experience will be able to provide you with some insight. I think many people entertain the idea of returning to moderated drinking at some time during recovery. The following link is a good read as to others experience with moderation and insight to the “kindling effect” of multiple relapses and withdrawals - *http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...lly-again.html.

This may shine some light on whether or not you want to pursue this path. Btw, great work in accumulating the 7-8 months sobriety. Have you identified the reason for the relapse?

*Lol, looks like someone bumped this thread up for all to see! Thanks, Bunny!

Someguy23

I sympathize. It's very frustrating when you know you should quit, but your life is perfectly manageable and the negative consequences are mild or infrequent. And I'm quite familiar with the ensuing phenomenon of being alternatively on and off the wagon as well...

What made you quit for 8 months, seek out a sponsor and work the steps? Perhaps there could be some motivation there...

Incidentally, maybe run a google search (if you haven't already) on cocaethylene. There are studies which suggest that the total is greater than the sum of the parts.

Zencat

I relate powerless as being over-powered by king alcohol. I was a slave to drugs/alcohol to the extent that nothing mattered except getting tight or loaded. Alcohol was directing the show, I feel like a passenger on a speeding train going in circles. I can understand powerless from the above example.

The good news is you can recover. And many times we as addicts in recovery all ready know what needs to be done. Its the action part that gets neglected most often.

courage2

I thought I was managing my life. Then I realized that I was managing my alcoholism. Now I realizing that my alcoholism was managing me.

Anna

I wish I had stopped drinking before I got to a point where I hated myself for how I was behaving. I was not the person I wanted to be. My health was in jeopardy and my family was totally frustrated, and only then did I decide to stop drinking.

Alcoholism is a progressive disease and it will get worse if you don't stop.