Ugh, Hoping I didn't have to post this.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Vancouver BC
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Ugh, Hoping I didn't have to post this.
So I made 25 days, and then for some reason last night (Saturday) I bought a 6 pak, and I drank it. I got pretty buzzed I must say. In some ways it was kind of nice. But today, ohhh the hangover. I remember being able to knock back a 6'r and getting up the next day in just a slight fog, but I feel like crud today.
So why did I drink?
This one perplexes me but I think I have some answers.
I went for my "dream job" interview on Thursday and sadly did not get the job.
My ex of whom I thought we were still friends has virtually shut me out of her life.
I still need a job.
I moved to "the big city" about a 10 months ago and still feel somewhat lost here.
I'm late on the rent.
The thankful thing, is I will be able to resume my sobriety. Although I did get drunk last night, I feel that it was some type of a speed bump in the way of reality. I don't feel overly down on myself which I think is probably a good thing.
One thing I can say for those who are thinking about drinking and have some sober time in your pocket, don't! The hangover is far more annoying then you may remember it haha.
DAYS: -25/+1 SAVED: +$403.10/-$9.45 CANS: -205/+6 GLASSES: -16
So why did I drink?
This one perplexes me but I think I have some answers.
I went for my "dream job" interview on Thursday and sadly did not get the job.
My ex of whom I thought we were still friends has virtually shut me out of her life.
I still need a job.
I moved to "the big city" about a 10 months ago and still feel somewhat lost here.
I'm late on the rent.
The thankful thing, is I will be able to resume my sobriety. Although I did get drunk last night, I feel that it was some type of a speed bump in the way of reality. I don't feel overly down on myself which I think is probably a good thing.
One thing I can say for those who are thinking about drinking and have some sober time in your pocket, don't! The hangover is far more annoying then you may remember it haha.
DAYS: -25/+1 SAVED: +$403.10/-$9.45 CANS: -205/+6 GLASSES: -16
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Vancouver BC
Posts: 144
Sobriety - all be it 25 days is making this more obvious. But I don't regret it, and in many ways I appreciate it.
I need to get back to a state where I can stand myself. I also guess that I should stop feeling sorry for myself and get off my duff and do something about it.
I don't know, just kind of feeling lost right now.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: okc, ok
Posts: 32
I'm kinda in the same boat, Jim. Was sober for about three weeks then drank a couple days ago. Only I didn't drink just a six pack, I got completely wasted on vodka. Very dumb. Spent a couple days nursing a godawful hangover and feeling so sh***y about myself. Feel a bit better today and I guess all we can do is just keep trying. My episode was a huge reminder of why I don't want to continue drinking and maybe need to just think of it as a lesson more so than a terrible mistake.
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Heya sandraklp, keeping trying is a good thing! There is nothing wrong with wanting to quit drinking and I get that so I don't mind it.
And I agree, sometimes we need a "lesson" to remind us of why we are choosing sobriety. Just keep to the old adage, one day at a time. I think we'll both do ok!
Take care and be well!
And I agree, sometimes we need a "lesson" to remind us of why we are choosing sobriety. Just keep to the old adage, one day at a time. I think we'll both do ok!
Take care and be well!
Welcome back Jim
I think the lesson might be a little deeper than just don't drink?
Sometimes we need to look under a few rocks I think...
whats your support like? have you been using it?
what changes have you made in your life besides just not drinking - what new ways to you have to handle stress and disappointment for example?
You can do this Jim - I have no doubt - but I think to be successful we really need to engage with the task, you know?
D
I think the lesson might be a little deeper than just don't drink?
Sometimes we need to look under a few rocks I think...
whats your support like? have you been using it?
what changes have you made in your life besides just not drinking - what new ways to you have to handle stress and disappointment for example?
You can do this Jim - I have no doubt - but I think to be successful we really need to engage with the task, you know?
D
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: okc, ok
Posts: 32
Dee, that is something I am struggling with myself. How to deal with negative feelings without drinking. If I'm feeling happy, then it's usually not that hard to not drink. I have been trying AA and attempting to adjust my spiritual ideas and/or beliefs, but I suppose one does not change from basically an atheist to a believer overnight. Also, counseling is something I will probably seek soon to turn those stones over, have had a lot of life changes (long relationship ending, loss of home and children). A lot of things that I have dealt with (or not dealt with, really) by drinking. It's been a hard couple of years.
It was on going process for me Sandra - it took a while...I call it peeling back the onion...
I had 30 years of negative self talk - and no skills when it came to dealing with bad stuff.
I learned tho, and you will too - the fear of dealing with that stuff was much much worse than actually dealing with it for me.
Counselling helped me - having people to call on for support did too
D
I had 30 years of negative self talk - and no skills when it came to dealing with bad stuff.
I learned tho, and you will too - the fear of dealing with that stuff was much much worse than actually dealing with it for me.
Counselling helped me - having people to call on for support did too
D
Jim, although the obvious may be just don't drink, easier said then done. I told myself a million times I wouldn't drink, but I did. I had to teach myself how "not" to drink. Basically, I had to retrain myself to respond differently when I wanted a drink. I think Dee made some excellent points and suggestions on the topic.
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Hi, I think for me, "just don't drink" is really the answer. It is logical and makes sense to me. And I agree with a lot of what Dee says, what my problem at this time is I do not have the resources to "turn over some rocks." Also, with 25+ years of drinking, I feel I need to just understand sobriety in a way my brain can handle it. I have read a fair bit about why I drink and I know that I am burying many, many things. What I am not ready to do is deal with those things at this time.
Things will level off, and I will be able to get my life back on track (one would assume anyhow.) Baby steps is really all I can handle right now, I already feel overwhelmed by the circumstances of my life right now. Thankfully, sobriety is something that I can embrace and appreciate. My thought is with a clear(er) head, all the fidlybits will fall into place and I will be able to start living
Things will level off, and I will be able to get my life back on track (one would assume anyhow.) Baby steps is really all I can handle right now, I already feel overwhelmed by the circumstances of my life right now. Thankfully, sobriety is something that I can embrace and appreciate. My thought is with a clear(er) head, all the fidlybits will fall into place and I will be able to start living
Jim, I'm still here, just across the border.
My first AA and NA meetings were in Bellingham, and there is something called SMART in Vancouver. Have you ever heard of SMART?
My first AA and NA meetings were in Bellingham, and there is something called SMART in Vancouver. Have you ever heard of SMART?
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Join Date: Mar 2013
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Oh sorry!! I think I left some info out! For a "program" I am using AVRT and RR. For me these make sense and they use a very simple technique "Don't drink." (Or at least that is how I perceive it.) For support I of course use SR. This board is absolutely amazing!!
For now, I am not sure if I could handle a group setting, still digesting sobriety as a concept haha. I have not ruled out at least checking out a group setting setting.
I know that I am more or less just feeling in the dumps as it were. I did my 6 pak and really didn't get any value from it. I mean in terms of wanting to resume drinking. Even though I feel blah, I know that quitting booze is a good thing, no harm can come from it.
For now, I am not sure if I could handle a group setting, still digesting sobriety as a concept haha. I have not ruled out at least checking out a group setting setting.
I know that I am more or less just feeling in the dumps as it were. I did my 6 pak and really didn't get any value from it. I mean in terms of wanting to resume drinking. Even though I feel blah, I know that quitting booze is a good thing, no harm can come from it.
Many of us have been where you are....seemingly doing well but then drink again.
It happened to me, and it seems like the end of the world when it happens.... But the best thing you can do right now is learn from it and move forward.
It really is possible to relapse, pick yourself up, and move ahead even stronger than before.
Maybe you need to look a bit closer at your support. There have been many times I've reached out during tough times.
There is always someone willing to listen before you reach for that drink.
Today is a new day. You can do this!x
It happened to me, and it seems like the end of the world when it happens.... But the best thing you can do right now is learn from it and move forward.
It really is possible to relapse, pick yourself up, and move ahead even stronger than before.
Maybe you need to look a bit closer at your support. There have been many times I've reached out during tough times.
There is always someone willing to listen before you reach for that drink.
Today is a new day. You can do this!x
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Thank you for your words, they have value. Oddly, I more or less decided that I wanted to get drunk. No AV, I didn't justify it or anything, it was as simple as I wanted a 6 pack and to watch a movie.
I believe my support is ok, what I did not do was "ask for support."
I know That is the beauty of SR!! I know that had I asked for help, the responses would have been quick!! This board is a fantastic place to be!
There is always someone willing to listen before you reach for that drink.
It takes practice to ask for help BEFORE picking up I think, well it did for me.
That AV, well it's sneaky and it tries to isolate you. It whispers so quietly that you may not even be aware of it.
All those stressful things that happened to you? Well it gave it that opportunity to sneak in the back door.....
So pleased you're back with us x
That AV, well it's sneaky and it tries to isolate you. It whispers so quietly that you may not even be aware of it.
All those stressful things that happened to you? Well it gave it that opportunity to sneak in the back door.....
So pleased you're back with us x
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I agree with you about the stressful things, I strongly suspect that I allowed them to get drunk in attempts to blot them out. But ya know what I learned? They didn't get blotted out. Everything is as it was, but now I had the added value of a hangover and some guilt about breaking my sobriety.
Now that the day is almost over, I ate something finally and I feel substantially better, but I think just posting on here really helped out. I talked and someone talked back. I am not alone in this, the AV now has a new challenge, getting through you guys
Thanks again
Now that the day is almost over, I ate something finally and I feel substantially better, but I think just posting on here really helped out. I talked and someone talked back. I am not alone in this, the AV now has a new challenge, getting through you guys
Thanks again
Ha! Good luck AV.
I want an app in my phone that starts firing off PMs to all of you guys if I ever go into a liquor store or bar.
Flashing lights, submarine "AHHHHHOOOOOOOOGAAAAAAA, AHHHHHHOOOOOOGAAAA!!!" Noises, the whole shootin' match.
Now that would be something. Sorry DryRoast, but I think our AVs may have met their match with the folks here.
I'm sorry your stress is getting to you. I'm learning myself how to let little things slide. Kind of odd how I wouldn't have noticed/cared when I was drinking, but now there are just a couple little things that can torque me.
One day...one step...it's all I can do.
Be well.
SB
I want an app in my phone that starts firing off PMs to all of you guys if I ever go into a liquor store or bar.
Flashing lights, submarine "AHHHHHOOOOOOOOGAAAAAAA, AHHHHHHOOOOOOGAAAA!!!" Noises, the whole shootin' match.
Now that would be something. Sorry DryRoast, but I think our AVs may have met their match with the folks here.
I'm sorry your stress is getting to you. I'm learning myself how to let little things slide. Kind of odd how I wouldn't have noticed/cared when I was drinking, but now there are just a couple little things that can torque me.
One day...one step...it's all I can do.
Be well.
SB
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