Those Old Time Feelings

Old 04-07-2013, 07:16 AM
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Those Old Time Feelings

Sunday, April 7, 2013

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Those Old Time Feelings

I still have bad days. But that's okay. I used to have bad years.
—Anonymous

Sometimes, the old feelings creep back in. We may feel fearful, ashamed, and hopeless. We may feel not good enough, unlovable, victimized, helpless, and resentful about it all. This is codependency, a condition some describe as soul sickness.

Many of us felt this way when we began recovery. Sometimes, we slip back into these feelings after we've begun recovery. Sometimes there's a reason. An event may trigger these reactions, such as ending a relationship, stress, problems on the job, at home, or in friendships. Times of change can trigger these reactions. So can physical illness.

Sometimes, these feelings return for no reason.

A return to the old feelings doesn't mean were back to square one in our recovery. They do not mean we've failed at recovery. They do not mean were in for a long, painful session of feeling badly. They just are there.

The solution is the same: practicing the basics. Some of the basics are loving and trusting our self, detachment, dealing with feelings, giving and receiving support in the recovery community, using our affirmations, and having fun.

Another basic is working the Steps. Often, working the Steps is how we become enabled and empowered to practice the other basics, such as detachment and self-love.

If the old feelings come back, know for certain there is a way out that will work.

Today, if I find myself in the dark pit of codependency, I will work a Step to help myself climb out.
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Old 04-07-2013, 08:14 AM
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Very nice post!

I don't have to do the steps all at once, I don't have to be perfect. I get to do them little by little...one step at a time and one day at a time. It seems so obvious, right? That's why they call them "step's" instead of "huge impossible leaps."
But yeah, the old feelings creep in: I'm not good enough, I'm doing it wrong...(I could go on).
Just like I'm not in control of people, places and things...I'm not in control of my feelings either. But with the help of my program, I can have feelings, I can identify them, I can recognize that they are (just) feelings and I can let them go.
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Old 04-07-2013, 08:31 AM
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PS:

Before I had a program, "feelings" were terrifying. They were exactly what "being out of control" meant to me. I worked so hard to suppress feelings that I often wasn't even aware of what I was feeling or even that I was feeling. Feelings were dangerous, who knew what could happen if I let them out of their cage!? Controlling them took so much effort and energy--and it left me numb.
One of the the many amazing things about my program was that I have gradually learned that I can have feelings and the world won't come to an end. That takes courage, practice and trust. But each time I had feelings and learned that the world wasn't going to end, that gave me a little more trust and confidence. Over time, I've found myself willing to be more and more open. "As I give to the world, so the world will give back to me."
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