anchorbird

Something clicked last night with me. I am really hurting myself, my relationships, my life. I caved and had a drink yesterday with my husband not knowing. I felt guilty right away. I am blessed with so much in my life, so why do I continually put myself through this. It is time to up my AA meetings (1 a week is just not enough), get my act together and start on the right path.

I hate to admit this, but I gained 30 lbs last year with all of the drinking I did. The first few years I was able to exercise enough to balance out, but I kind of gave up last year so the weight came on quickly. I am ready to ditch the love handles and feel better overall.

I looked at how much I spent last month on alcohol, $136!!!! That's insane!!!

We are leaving for vacation in 2 weeks and I am honestly excited to be sober and present for the duration of our trip.

Thanks for letting me ramble

ArcticSA

You sound alot like I did. I am also a mother and wife and I was drinking way too much spending roughly the same amount as you and I put on 40 pounds from drinking withing a couple years.
I really felt like total crap all the time and things were getting out of control.
I know how you feel and I am so excited for you!
The first 2 weeks were the hardest for me so its good you have until then to get straightened out, and your going need EVERY DAY of that 2 weeks to clear up, so NO SLIPS!! Understand!?!?!
Im guessing youre husband doesnt drink? That is wonderful. Its a really amazing thing to have your other half supporting you.
Oh and for a little more added incentive to you, I lost 17 pounds in 6 weeks from quitting....

Its going to be an amazing thing to be sober and present for the vacation. I dont know the severity of your drinking, but I know for myself, I didnt truly know how much it was affecting my life until I was sober again. Its like I have rediscovered my children. I mean, I knew they were amazing, but know that Im sober I can truly, truly, truly appreciate them and spending time with them without being hungover and my mind is blown.

We are sooooooo blessed to be Mothers. It is the most spectacular gift in the world. And we are privileged. And they deserve to have sober, present Mothers.

By choosing to get sober you are doing the best thing for them possible, so God bless you!

Stay strong and keep posting here, PM me if you want, its nice to vent when you are getting so stressed and thinking about alcohol.

least

Glad you're starting again. Come here often and post for strength if you feel tempted.

2granddaughters

I think we have a winner here !!

Commit to the right path, anchorbird, follow a good sponsor and the good oldtimers.

All the best.

Bob R

sugarbear1

You can stay stopped, too!!!

anchorbird

Well, I slipped, but I am back. I will never stop trying and by the grace of God I know one day it will stick.

Odelle

Anchorbird – It will stick but you have to put forth a lot of effort initially. Getting through the first few weeks is hard, really hard, but with continued abstinence it does get easier because you will begin to see the rewards – better wife, better mother and better person!

Jeni26

Stick with it, and it will get easier.

I'm not sure I even started out with the good intentions you have. I didn't think I was a bad wife, mother, person particularly. I just wanted to wake up without that overwhelming anxiety that comes with a hangover and regrets about my behaviour.

It was only with a little sober time that I really could see how utterly selfish I had been when in the throes of my addiction.

I had been a neglectful wife and mother. I'd never set out to hurt anyone but I had always put my drinking first and being sober gave me the chance at last to correct that.

You can make this work for you. Life becomes clearer, your choices more available. You can build the sort of relationships you want with those closest to you.

You're not a bad person, but you will feel like a better one x