CAgirl9

While I was walking my baby (my dog) I had a light bulb moment I wanted to share. I've been overwhelmed with the amount of information I've been taking in lately and sometimes things seems complicated. I was thinking about codependency and I realized in the simplest terms it means (to me)- when I put someone else's needs before mine.

Obviously as a parent there are times we need to do that and even for a spouse or SO there are times we will do that. But I think CoDependency is when we do it ALL the time and it takes over and we lose who we are. Does that make sense?

My thought for so long was that to be a good wife, mother, etc I needed to sacrifice my needs. I'm realizing I don't always have to do that.

Does anyone have anything to add? Am I'm missing something else? I would love to hear feedback. Thanks!

Hammer

Yeah. Just put this in the Pharmacy Section . . .


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How I teach this to the kids . . .

We stand on one leg. Wave our arms. Point down at our leg and we yell -- Independent!

Then we stand on the other leg. Wave our arms. Point down at our leg and we yell -- Independent!

Then we jump up and down, jog in place, and dance around. Point down at both our legs and we yell -- Inter-dependent! Working Together!

THEN. We stand, cross our legs left and right, all tangled together. Wave our arms and fall down -- yelling Co-Dependent!

We all get up laughing.

Even the 5 year old understands this.

AnvilheadII

Pharmacy Section? that's a little demeaning.....

Hammer

Perhaps.

None intended. "Substance Abuse" just seemed a bit stuffed.

My inner jackass brays a bit a times.

My apologies to those offended.

CAgirl9

Wow .... I thought this was a safe place to share thoughts, feelings, insights ... perhaps not ...

DreamsofSerenity

As a mother, trying to figure out where nurturing ends and codependency begins, has been really difficult for me. I've been trying to take "baby steps" with the whole thing. If I feel like I really need to go to a meeting or a yoga class, I go, even if it means the kids might not get their homework done that night.

I'm also working on letting them feel the consequences of their mistakes and not bailing them out like I always did. It's mainly stuff like not rushing their PE uniforms or lunches over to school if they forget them.. It was really hard for me at first, but is becoming easier, and it is definitely better for them because it's forcing them to become more responsible.

dandylion

:rotfxkoLove this little lesson!!! No offense taken. I love donkeys, also.

sincerely, dandylion

dandylion

Dear Cagirl, another simple definition of co-dependency that I like is: Co-dependency is not so much about your relationship with another person as it is ABOUT THE LACK OF SUFFICIENT RELATIONSHIP WITH ONESELF.

Hammer

When hammers and anvils meet, there is bound to be a little bit of sparks.

Would not think too much of it.

AnvilheadII

Wow .... I thought this was a safe place to share thoughts, feelings, insights ... perhaps not ...

CAqirl i merely replied back to Hammer about the use of some specific wording in reference to the other F&F board...not a big deal really.

Hammer

And I love and wish to accept correction.

Thank you, Anvil.