sunnshinegirl

He told me he loved me last night. I was swayed by the words for a moment because it sounded so real and it's what I wanted to hear. But I think he's dependent on me and that is not love. His actions are not loving either. I'm starting to realize you can say words and maybe even mean them at the time you speak them but actions speak louder than words.

I have so much guilt as I follow through with my plan for leaving. The hardest thing is putting one foot in front of each other and not falling backward but this time I won't let words keep me stuck.

Thank you for this board and all of you.

redatlanta

Yes words are just words. Stay your course......you can do it.

dandylion

Hey, sunnshinegirl, WAY TO HOLD TO YOUR CONVICTIONS!!!!! Yes, I agree, that it is hard to hold the boundry when they are saying just what they know you want to hear!!

RESIST FEELING GUILTY. There is nothing to feel guilty about placing value on yourself.

sincerely, dandylion

Santa

I know my exAH still loves me - insofar as he is able. Loves his kids too, although his daughter is convinced otherwise, because his actions never back up his words.

Love means not always putting yourself first. Parental love means ALWAYS putting someone else first. My ex does neither. The love that is in his heart is stunted. He is the emotional age of a 2 year old, although if I recall, my children at 2 were more dependable.

Alternatively I could say my ex loves me like a puppy, except that unlike my exAH, a dog's love is unconditional.

Seriously, who needs this kind of "love."

sunnshinegirl

Thanks everyone. I've always been swayed by words before and they still tug at my heart and maybe in his own way he does care about me but that doesn't mean I can live like this any longer. I hold no anger at all towards him but still working on that self forgiveness.