JPWhitlar

I am a mother of 3 daughters who are all in one way or another struggling with alcohol addiction. It is the reason I joined this forum. My oldest daughter is making terrible choices right now and I don't know how to help her. She lives with boyfriend who is tired of her behavior. I have been pretty isolated from her lately though I was aware of her drinking problem it is only recently that she has become very reckless with her drinking. What can I do to help her?

laurie6781

Welcome to Sober recovery!!!

I am glad that you found us but sorry for the reason why.

Please check out our Friends and family of Alcoholics forum:

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Lots of great experience.

As to what you can do to help? Nothing. Allow your daughter the dignity to FEEL the CONSEQUENCES of her drinking actions as her drinking continues.

It is only when the consequences start piling up that the Alcoholic may finally reach their bottom. If her BF kicks her out so be it. I spent the last 1 1/2 years of my drinking living on the streets of Hollywood, and to this day I believe that was very important to my finally hitting my personal 'bottom.'

Looking forward to seeing you on the Friends and Family Forum.

Love and hugs,

sugarbear1

Try getting to Al Anon and focus on your recovery.

JPWhitlar

I have been here before. My first husband & father to my children has a severe alcohol problem. I had to not let him into my home, had leave the state to get away. I told her BF to do kick her out or call the police on her. I don't think he will do that so he is putting it on me to deal with my daughter. I am heartbroken and I am so unsure of what I can do which is why I am here. Alanon is an option though I will have to get over my own issues (I never join anything) and fears of walking into a meeting.

Dee74

welcome to SR

I dunno...you joined SR - that turned out ok - maybe AlAnon might too?

D

JPWhitlar

Well you got me there, I will try though less scarier online where where I can stay anonymous. This whole thing is causing me insomnia.

JBird100

I was very lucky. I have friends (not family) who never gave up on me. This despite my terrible judgment calls when using, which became progressively worse with each relapse. I was willing to try whatever it took after the pain got to be excruciating. You may have to just say I'm there for you when you're ready. I know it's not easy but it may be the only way to support them.

JPWhitlar

I am there for her, I just don't how to be there for her in a constructive way and not a destructive way. If I just ignore what she is doing is that going to help. I can't force her into rehab. She is making such bad choices right now I am afraid that she is going to kill someone with her car. I think I should call the police, but I am not living close enough to know when she is driving. I told her BF that he should call the police and he should tell her that she can't be there if she has been drinking. I had to do that with my ex. So hard

least

No, you can't make choices for her. Sad as it is, she's got to make her own decisions. All you can do is hope they are good ones. I hope her bf stops putting up with her behavior and lets her hit her bottom so maybe she'll 'wake up'